Called It.

February 10, 2010 at 2:11 pm | Posted in I Was At The Game!, Losing Sucks, Stick a fork in it, That was absolutely terrible., Thomas Vanek, Tyler Myers, Zdeno Chara | 1 Comment

I knew it would happen but I was forced to go to the game anyway. The Sabres were not very good. The second period was fun, but that was it. I felt like I was watching a bad team, not a (for the time being) division-leading team. Gross.

Tyler, however, continued to be FABULOUS. PLEASE BE OKAY.

Thomas Vanek sucks.

The guy sitting behind the Bruins bench acting like a chicken every time Chara skated by was actually hilarious.

Thank goodness we’re almost at the Olympic break.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (#64, #65)

June 18, 2009 at 10:08 pm | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Happy!!, Kris Versteeg, Mike Green, NHL Awards, Pavel Datsyuk, Players, Richard Zednik, Sergei Fedorov, Steve Mason, Tim Thomas, Zdeno Chara | 1 Comment

The NHL Awards concluded not too long ago, and while the choices for musical entertainment were a bit, uh, questionable, I highly enjoyed myself for the most part.

The NHL does this wonderful thing each year at the awards where they bring the nominees in for a photo shoot while they’re all dressed up and looking nice.  The results are usually fantastic, and the pose choices for this year were no exception.

alex tie

I thought I’d start off with a picture of Alex, since, you know, he’s a ferocious badass and won three awards.  That’s actually why the last two reasons are being used up tonight.  Because, um, three awards gets you two reasons for love.  My math skills are rad.

But poor math aside, once again this was Alex’s night.  (Because, alas, Candy Corn Head could not wrestle the spotlight away from him.)  Since I’m apparently a terrible fan I never realized that his grandfather had actually passed on, so when he said that in his speech I got all choked up.  I think he did too.  Can I just say, that if he had started crying, I would have been sobbing.

When he and Malkin went up for their scoring hardware, I was highly amused when Geno congratulated him.  He turned to the right even though Alex was on the left, and when he turned back Alex shifted over.  Maybe you kind of had to be in my head, but it was hilarious up there.

Then he won the Hart trophy and did his hot stick celebration with it.  Don Cherry’s gonna be pissed.  Then he promised a Cup in DC next year.  I like a man with confidence, I really do.  I hope that’s the case next year, because I have little hope in the Sabres pulling it together that quickly.

But back to the picture.  One of the popular poses tonight was adjusting your tie, as Alex is.  He also has a cute little grin/smirk thing going on, and you can still see the red in his hair.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been mad at him for the past week and tonight made me forgive him, but I think this picture is just goofy enough to work.  And as my mother will be quick to point out, you can’t see his missing tooth.

malkin

Maybe it’s just me, but good ol’ Geno looked kinda pissed at first when Alex won.  His girlfriend also looked kind of skanky, but again, maybe it was just me.  I do, however, like this picture, although only because it’s so bad.  I think the photographer was looking for a tough, manly, crossed-arms pose, but what he got was Malkin going, “Like this?  I put arms on elbows like this?”

steeger

I’m kind of sad Kris didn’t win, even though he was up against hard competition in Mason, but this picture makes up for it.  I think the point of this pose is to put us in awe of the players’ strong build and tall bodies, but all this does is make Kris look a tad bit confused.  And a little bit angry.  I love the tie, but the hair has got to go.  Sorry, Kris (and Cari).  I just don’t think it works on you.

But I really appreciate his decision to not wear Lacoste.  I was ready to fly out there and punch him if he did.

michael

Oh, Michael.  Michael, Michael, Michael.  There are so many things wrong with this picture, but at the same time so many things right.  It isn’t exactly a secret that I have been furious with Michael since the playoffs started, but when he showed up on that red carpet with his stupid mohawk and his smart little bowtie, my heart kind of melted.  Damn you for making me love you again, Michael.  Damn you.

I was really surprised to see Chara take home the Norris because I figured that even if Michael didn’t win, Lidstrom would.  Whatever, Michael.  You didn’t deserve the award.

However, I do think he managed to pull off a successful picture.  Unlike some players (coughMalkincough) he seemed to understand how to cross his arms, and that and the slight bend in his knee is enough to give the picture a sassy tone without being too sassy.  I also actually kind of like the facial expression.  It looks like he tweezed his eyebrows again before hitting the show.  I think he was trying to go for an alluring face.

And I’m glad his mommy could be there with him.

niklas backstrom

I consider this picture to be a win, even if the player in it didn’t do that.  He’s got the right amount of smile and the right amount of folded arm, but it’s not too in your face.  I’m also a huge fan of his suit.

And his name is Niklas Backstrom, and we all know how much I love men with that name.

parise

In this pose, we have Mr. Parise attempting to put his hands on his hips.  While his smile definitely gets a ten (as the puckbunnies who make bumper stickers on Facebook would say, “his face was crafted by angels”), I’m not so sure about the rest of it.  It just doesn’t seem like a natural pose for Zach.  It almost comes off cute, in the “aww look at the little boy trying to pose” kind of way.  And it definitely looks awkward for him.

candy corn head

And then there’s Candy Corn Head.  Oh, Candy Corn Head.  I simply adore you.  I’m so happy you got to take home two trophies and I loved your speeches.  You’re such an eloquent speaker, even though your English is “short.”  (And, did you tell the rest of the Russians to inform us that their English, too, is short?  Because it seems like they all were saying it.)  There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you, unless you defected to Russia.  You seem like the nicest guy, and very humble.  I wish you nothing but happiness.

Speaking of defections, WHY was everybody all, “Yo, Sergei, we love you, we’re letting you present the Hart Trophy, we’re calling you a Capital.  It’s all good”?????  He is signing with Russia. That’s what he wants to do.  It was so annoying seeing him sitting there and just looking so happy when all along he was probably thinking happy thoughts about the KHL.  He is supremely annoying.

And the sad thing is, if for some reason he should end up with the Caps next year I’ll probably love him again.

But all in all, I thought the awards were fun.  TimTom was all cute for both of his awards, Jarome Iginla further convinced me that when I win the lottery and buy the Sabres I have to bring him in to be captain, and somehow Richard Zednik didn’t win the Masterton.  That was the only one that truly perplexed me.  Dude had his throat cut open and almost died last season and came back to play this season.  But whatevs.

Now we get to look forward to the draft and, more importantly, Free Agency Day!!

Yeah. Nice Try, Hockey Gods

January 28, 2009 at 9:51 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Derek Roy, Drew Stafford, Happy!!, Henrik Zetterberg, Hockey Gods, Jaroslav Spacek, Jochen Hecht, Nathan Paetsch, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome, Zdeno Chara | 2 Comments

Last night’s Sabres game was AWESOME.  I can’t even come up with enough adjectives to describe how much fun I had watching it.  The Sabres scored TEN GOALS, and it wasn’t even against a bottom-feeder like Atlanta.  Staffy with the tour du chapeau (ever since I watched the French feed of a Montreal game back in December, I have called hat tricks by their french name because it’s funny), Royzie and TV with three point nights, Timmy with two goals, Patches with a goal (!), Spacek with a goal, Hecht with a goal.  (And did everyone notice how after Hecht scored last night, they showed Roy sitting on the bench?  My theory is that they have absolutely no idea who Hecht is and just showed a random Sabre.)  The commentators were all, “We love Buffalo!” the whole night, which was quite nice.  I was amused by how even when the score was 6-1 Sabres, they still thought the Oilers could make a comeback.  That was cute.

The Sabres game last night was definitely one of my favorite of the season, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to forgive the hockey gods and forget what happened.  You see, as the Sabres game didn’t start until nine, I decided to tune into another game at seven.  The Caps/Bruins game last night looked to be a pretty good one, so I thought I’d check in and see what happened.  Greenie started the scoring, both teams looked good, it was a fun time.  Then, in the second period, Alex came roaring down the wing with Chara right behind him.  As Chara could think of nothing else to do to prevent Alex from scoring, he hooked him.  Alex then lost his balance and FLEW SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE BOARDS.  HE THEN STAYED ON HIS BACK WITH HIS EYES CLOSED FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.  Dear Readers, saying I freaked out would be a complete understatement.  See, as a hockey fan I realize that getting hurt is part of the job.  Injuries to the Sabres may or may not have cost them a Stanley Cup a few years ago, and right now defensemen are dropping like flies.  Still, I expect injuries.  That doesn’t mean I don’t worry when they happen, because last week when Teppo was lying face-first on the ice I had a panic attack, but it’s not like I’m taken completely by surprise.  Um, Tim Connolly plays on my favorite team.  I’m used to injuries.  See, the thing is, Alex doesn’t do injuries.  There’s a long list of games where he got hurt and bounced right back up and kept playing.  Seeing him lie on the ice with his eyes closed was really scary.  Then, when he slammed both of his gloves on the ground and threw away his helmet – with his left hand! – I got really worried.  I was all set to change the pink sheets on my bed to a more masculine, er, purple so that I could tuck him in and give him the ice pack I used after my Gardasil shots and make him cookies and let him flip through old Seventeen magazines and nurse him back to health when he came skating back out in the third period.  Alex, if you were fine, then WHY DID YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?!?!  Good grief.

And in the post-game interview, Alex claims that he forgives Chara.  They showed him talking to Chara in the third and Alex just shrugged, but I couldn’t figure out if he was saying, “Hey, that’s hockey, no hard feelings,” or “Yeah, I called the Russian Mafia, but they haven’t called me back yet.  I’d lock your door tonight if I was you.”

The hockey gods realized how insanely furious at them I was, so they sent me a good Sabres game.  I haven’t forgiven them, but at least the Sabres got two important points and an even more important confidence boost.  These Western Conference road trips usually give me nightmares, but the Sabres look like they might actually do good this time around.  Woo, Sabres!  Just keep this positive mindset going into tonight’s game, and you’ll be fine.

What’s that?  Zetterberg signed a 12-year contract?  Worth $72 million?  Yikes.

It WAS Funny! I DID Laugh! (#55, #56)

January 25, 2009 at 8:48 am | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, All Star Game, Carey Price, Evgeni Malkin, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Happy!!, Patrick Kane, Players, Thomas Vanek, Tim Thomas, Twins Named Lundqvist, Zdeno Chara | 7 Comments

From the red carpet, which DID NOT disappoint:

Best interview of the year, right there:

Gary (That’s his name, right?): So, Alex, do you know what you’re going to do tonight?

Alex  (Looking SPECTACULAR in his Dolce suit and red tie): Yeah.  It’s gonna be funny. 

Gary  (Looking supremely confused):  Uh-huh.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, with Alex-

Alex:  Funny.  Fun.  You’re gonna laugh.

Our kids will be so articulate.  It’s ridiculous.  I’m positively giddy with the thought of it.

  • Reader Award to anyone who can find me a hockey player with an ugly kid.  I am so in love with hockey players’ children, it’s not even funny.  TimTom’s daughter, with her pink jacket and fur-trimmed hood, clutching his hand, positively killed me.  Adorable. 
  • Thomas Vanek, what the FUCK did you do to your hair?
  • Ryan Getzlaf was WORKING that tie.
  • Henrik Lundqvist is so pretty.  
  • I have officially fallen in love with Carey Price.  There is nothing that boy man could do to make me stop loving him.  That suit?  The tie/shirt combo?  Saying he’s looking pretty good for a boy from the farm?  LOVE!
  • Poor Pkane appears to be suffering from a breakout.  Aw.  Pkane, might I suggest Biore?
  • Speaking of Patty, are he and Jonathan Toews now interchangeable?
  • Whoa.  Jarome Iginla, where have you been all my life?
  • Ditto for Dan Boyle.
  • Zdeno Chara, what’s up with that scarf?

From the Superskillz:

84439672Yeah.  I know.

Just a warning, every single post on this  blog might revolve around this picture from now on.  I haven’t decided yet.

 

Um, does this picture (and the Twitter updates?) mean that Alex and Evgeni actually ARE friends again?  Because screw pressure from the Russian media.  You don’t do this unless the guy is your BFF.

84439600

Never Thought I’d See THAT Headline

January 4, 2009 at 10:59 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, All Star Game, Andrej Sekera, Chris Clark, Dan Paille, Derek Roy, Donald Brashear, Happy!!, Matt Ellis, Maxim Afinogenov, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome, Zdeno Chara | Leave a comment

The headlines in today’s paper (the hockey ones) all basically said how Matt Ellis helped power the Sabres over the first-place Bruins.  Huh.  Never thought I’d see that, and I can’t help but wonder if Matt ever thought that either.

I think it’s great that he had the first three-point game of his career and that he’s been playing so well here in Buffalo these past few games.  I watched the Sabres Show this morning, and he seems like a really nice guy.  Danny never told me he and Matt were childhood friends!   I hope he sticks around for a while, especially since he’s one of the players we have who really seems to want to win.  It’s really great for him to get the chance to play here and I’m glad Lindy decided to keep him instead of Gerbe.  (Don’t get me wrong.  I ADORE Nate.  I just agree that he should get a wee bit more seasoning in Portland)

Apparently Max has a “lower body injury.”  Hmm.  Sure thing, Sabres, sure thing.  I’m not going to question it if it means Max comes out of the lineup.  (Just in case there’s any confusion, like there was at TFF Headquarters yesterday, I’m not glad he got hurt.  I’m not that mean a person that I would wish him ill.  I’m just kind of glad that he might not be able to play)  I thoroughly enjoyed yesterday in the first period when Derek was all, “Okay, I’m going to fight CHARA now!” and then Chara just knocked him over.  Sure, Chara probably shouldn’t have punched him several times like he had, but it was kind of funny to see.  Sorry, D.  

Was Harry Neale off his meds again yesterday?  Good grief.  Poor Reggie gets speared and then he goes, “Well, looks like he’ll be a soprano in the choir now!” or something along those lines.  I’m just glad he’s okay and came back out and played.  That could have been a penalty though…

I agree with Bruce, Dear Readers.  It’s definitely “dumb” that Alex didn’t make the starting lineup, but I don’t agree with Tom Renney that there must be a flaw in the system if he didn’t make it.  Those lame-o Habs and Pens fans rigged the balloting, and I like to think that Alex feels the same way that Thomas Vanek does, and that if he can’t be voted to the lineup the honest way, then it’s okay if he’s not voted at all.  (Dear Tom Renney,   I get that you’re trying to be funny, but next time when they ask you how you plan on defending Alex during a game, I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from telling reporters that you’d kill him.  That’s not so nice.  With Love, Frostee)

All I saw of the game last night was Chris Clark’s fight (Chris!  You PUNCH Redden, boyfriend, you PUNCH him) and the Caps walking off at the end of the second, so this morning I watched the highlights.  First, Alex’s goal was pretty badass  and now he’s tied with Carter for the league lead like I knew he would be and now he’ll be the leader in goals again so life is good (haha sorry for that run-on).  He was also dropping guys like flies.  Dude, you are a beast.  

Second, Semin, uh, got in a fight in his first game back.  As Joe so eloquently put, he was “playing the bongoes.”  

Dear Donald Brashear,

Please teach Semin how to fight.  The poor boy looks ridiculous out there.

With Love,

Frostee

At least Staal wanted to go with him, unlike a certain Pittsburgh player I could mention from yesterday afternoon. 

P.S.  Last night while we were watching the football game with the friends we had over we were playing Apples to Apples, and when it was my turn to judge and I got “violent” some idiot gave me the card that said “Russia.”  I’m pretty sure it was my brother.  He should know better than that at this point.

Sabres, Here I Come!/Ovie, LIVE Part 1 (#37)

October 6, 2008 at 4:52 pm | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Happy!!, Zdeno Chara | 1 Comment

As the bell was ringing after eighth period today, I had every intention of coming home and blogging about how much I miss Trentykins and how much the Bills are going to suck and how much I want JP DEAD.  But then I got a text message from my dad.  The text message informed me that not only will I be going to the Sabres/Capitals game on November 1 (check the newspapers the morning after.  There will probably be something about an overzealous fan creeping out poor Alex), I will also be going to the hockey game this Friday night.  I have never been to a home-opener before, so I am understandably pommerdoodling to the max.  

The season tickets my dad is in on are really bitchin’.  They’re on the side (methinks it’s 114?  115?), about 15 rows back.  It takes a bit of maneuvering to get any pictures of the Sabres warming up down at the other end, but it offers wonderful views of the opposing team practicing (although I have way too many pictures of Zdeno Chara on my iPhoto.  If I never see Boston play live again, it will be too soon).  I will be using this to my advantage when I see Ovie play.  If you hear someone screaming with delight obnoxiously loud after he scores during that game, I can guarantee you it will be me.

If you hear anyone screaming obnoxiously loud at the game this Friday night, assume it’s me and my mom.  Just the two of us haven’t gone to a game in a while, but when we do go we tend to get a little loud.  When I go with my dad, he just mutters about the plays being made on the ice while I shriek for blood.  We are quite a comical sight.

Dear Readers, do you think that if I were to tell my teacher that writing an essay about why Africa is black is racist and therefore I can’t write it in good conscience I wouldn’t have to?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

P.S.  Note to Evgeni Malkin:  Dude, guess what we are having for dinner tonight.

The Hotties and Notties of the NHL, Part 2

July 18, 2008 at 5:19 pm | Posted in Brian Campbell, Chris Drury, Daniel Alfredsson, Daniel Briere, Drew Stafford, Jordan Staal, Mats Sundin, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Comrie, Ray Emery, Sean Avery, Sidney Crosby, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Toni Lydman, Zdeno Chara | 2 Comments

Several days ago, we took a look at the 20 hottest players in the NHL.  Today, we will be focusing on the 20 ugliest guys in the league.

The Notties (In no particular order)

Max Afinogenov, Buffalo Sabres.     Sucking is not hot, Max.  Neither is working for the Russian Mafia.

 

 

Mike Modano, Dallas Stars.  Basically, this is just leftover from the 1999 Stanley Cup Finals.  I actually do kinda like him for looking like Jon Heder’s clone.  And that chipmunk face he made in that Stanley Cup Playoffs promo.

 

Thomas Vanek, Buffalo Sabres.  $50 million is not attractive.  Especially not for the “Vanek Attack.”  It’s also not that attractive admitting on television that when you aren’t playing hockey, you are playing X-box.

 

Brett Hull, Dallas Stars.   YOU SUCK!!!!

 

 

 

Drew Stafford, Buffalo Sabres.  In keeping with my whole, “Jacob is better than Edward” thing, I just have this to say: Drinking the blood of virgins is not attractive, Staffy.  I’m sorry.

 

 

Zdeno Chara, Boston Bruins.  Basically, Zdeno, I’m just scared of what you’ll do to poor, short little Nathan Gerbe next year.  That’s all.

 

 

Mats Sundin, Current Team Unknown.  Okay, Mats.  Either sign that 2 year, $20 million offer in Vancouver so that after an October game we never have to see your overrated ass again, or go to back to Sweden and never bother us again.

 

Dominik Hasek, Detroit Red Wings.

I refused to believe that he’s really retiring, in light of all this Brett Favre drama.  But don’t think I don’t know what you did to get out of Buffalo, Dominik.  Don’t think for a second that we all don’t know.

Daniel Briere, Philadelphia Flyers.  There is nothing hot about a greasy whore.  There isn’t anything hot about spearing a totally innocent guy in the balls, either.

 

Daniel Alfredsson, Ottawa Senators.  We know that your team was sucking majorly, Alfie, but that’s no excuse for firing a puck at Scott Niedermayer’s face.  Getting swept in the first round by a bunch of underaged boys isn’t all that attractive, either.

 

Brian Campbell, Chicago Blackhawks.  There is nothing hot about greed, Soupy.  There isn’t anything hot about your hair with your new ‘hawks jersey either.  I hope you freeze at the Winter Classic this year.

 

 

Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins.  Okay, I am fully aware that I am going to be attacked by a herd of angry Crosby fangirls.  (And angry fanboys)  And please understand, it’s not that I don’t like him.  I do like him.  Actually, I feel really bad for the kid.  He has no friends.  
He has no idea how to do an interview without getting an assistant coach somewhere fired.  I would totally be Sidney’s friend.  I really would.  

All that said, I have to tell you, Sid.  If you have any hope of getting off the Nottie list and onto the Hottie one, you need to stop admitting that Mario talks to you about having safe sex with girls.  Very uncool.

Toni Lydman, Buffalo Sabres.   Just…..no.

 

 

 

Jeff Finger, Toronto Maple Leafs.  

Who are you????

 

 

Tim Connolly, Buffalo Sabres.  I’m really sorry, Timmy.  I do like you, I really do.  It’s just…you’re too, well, fragile for my taste.  Sorry about all this.

 

 

Mike Comrie, New York Islanders.  I am well aware that he is dating Hilary Duff.  I had to wade through a whole mess of pictures of them kissing just to find this one.  But sleeping with your ex-teammate’s wife is not hot.  Infidelity gets you on the Nottie list, Mike.  

 

Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins.  It’s his mugshot.  Need I say more?

 

 

 

Chris Drury, New York Rangers.  A picture’s worth a thousand words.  Chris Drury, however, is not.

 

 


Sean Avery, Dallas Stars.  I don’t care if Marty Brodeur is fat, and I don’t care if he slept with his wife’s sister-in-law.  He is still a totally badass goalie, and therefore Sean should not be waving his stick like an idiot in front of his face.  No wonder Elisha Cuthbert dumped him.

Ray Emery, Russian League.  I know that he technically no longer plays in the NHL, but I figured for him I could make an exception.  He does drugs, fights with his teammates, and had a convicted rapist on his mask.  N-O-T-T-I-E!

 

 

 

And that about sums it up!  I was really surprised with some of the people who ended up on this list; I guess some guys were just so ugly I blocked out their names.

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