Well, maybe not an ‘A.’ Because Jay Mohr was terrible. But you know what? I have now watched the NHL Awards twice through (I’ll explain) and once again I’m reminded of how much I love this sport and this league.
Last night I missed half of the acceptance speeches because we were LOLing too hard (after Ryan’s, we proceeded to thank Noureen for all the other guys when they gave their speeches) and we were complaining too much during Jay Mohr’s stuff to completely appreciate it. We did, however, enjoy the Bobby Ryan/Ryan Getzlaf skit. Genius. It was funny, it was entertaining, even my mother cracked up. I love things like that. These guys have such great personalities and the league really should showcase that.
Today I watched my recording of it, which was fantastic. I could fast-forward through all the awkward banter and bad musical performances and just watch the acceptance speeches and player bits. It was quite nice.
I’m always down for a good “Alex Ovechkin looks like a caveman” joke, but Bigfoot? Really? I also thoroughly enjoyed his acceptance speech. I’ll be honest, I was surprised he won the Ted Lindsay award. I knew there was always the chance he’d win but I didn’t actually think he would. And while him winning that made me think he really did have a shot at the Hart, I’m okay with the way things turned out. Alex was voted most valuable player by his peers (I pointed this out ad nauseam to my Sidney Crosby fan friend last night around two in the morning until she threw a pillow at me), Hank got recognition from the media for what really was a great season, and Sid got the “we feel bad that we don’t have any other award to give you so we’re giving you this award” award. HA.
But I must admit, Sid did look completely out of his element last night. Poor kid.
I have a theory that it was actually Daniel accepting the awards tonight, and I’d like to keep it that way in my mind.
I love Tyler even more for his speech but the poor thing needs a little work on the hair. God bless his soul, I can’t wait until he wins ten Norris trophies.
Ryan Miller can work skinny ties like it’s nobody’s business. I’m very picky about who wears skinny ties, but he gets my seal of approval.
Mike Green, this is what you get for being a fatty and a crappy defenseman. Yay Duncs!
I cried when Theo was accepting his award. I have no problem admitting that. What a guy. I hope he ends up somewhere good next year.
(Seriously, Darcy, I’ve been saying for at least a year that you need to get him here to back up Ryan. He’d be a great backup!!)
I think I’m going to hunt down Pavel Datsyuk and get him ordained so he can marry me or give a speech at my wedding or something. That guy is hilarious.
Patrick Kane is going to get herpes before he’s done in Vegas if he’s not careful. Good grief, Kaner.
I will be taking in tomorrow night’s NHL Awards with some friends while we celebrate the end of our academic school year and will be sleeping over, which means there most likely won’t be incessant tweets from me and there definitely won’t be a post-Awards post right after the show is over. I know you’re really cut up about this. So enjoy the Awards, and rest assured that I’ll be busily making “Mike Green is fat jokes” and cooing over Tyler and Millsie and cringing over Alex.
P.S. I haven’t had a chance to look at the entire schedule yet but judging by when the Caps and Blue Jackets are in town, it’s like the hockey gods are just trying to make me happy.
The NHL Awards concluded not too long ago, and while the choices for musical entertainment were a bit, uh, questionable, I highly enjoyed myself for the most part.
The NHL does this wonderful thing each year at the awards where they bring the nominees in for a photo shoot while they’re all dressed up and looking nice. The results are usually fantastic, and the pose choices for this year were no exception.
I thought I’d start off with a picture of Alex, since, you know, he’s a ferocious badass and won three awards. That’s actually why the last two reasons are being used up tonight. Because, um, three awards gets you two reasons for love. My math skills are rad.
But poor math aside, once again this was Alex’s night. (Because, alas, Candy Corn Head could not wrestle the spotlight away from him.) Since I’m apparently a terrible fan I never realized that his grandfather had actually passed on, so when he said that in his speech I got all choked up. I think he did too. Can I just say, that if he had started crying, I would have been sobbing.
When he and Malkin went up for their scoring hardware, I was highly amused when Geno congratulated him. He turned to the right even though Alex was on the left, and when he turned back Alex shifted over. Maybe you kind of had to be in my head, but it was hilarious up there.
Then he won the Hart trophy and did his hot stick celebration with it. Don Cherry’s gonna be pissed. Then he promised a Cup in DC next year. I like a man with confidence, I really do. I hope that’s the case next year, because I have little hope in the Sabres pulling it together that quickly.
But back to the picture. One of the popular poses tonight was adjusting your tie, as Alex is. He also has a cute little grin/smirk thing going on, and you can still see the red in his hair. Maybe it’s because I’ve been mad at him for the past week and tonight made me forgive him, but I think this picture is just goofy enough to work. And as my mother will be quick to point out, you can’t see his missing tooth.
Maybe it’s just me, but good ol’ Geno looked kinda pissed at first when Alex won. His girlfriend also looked kind of skanky, but again, maybe it was just me. I do, however, like this picture, although only because it’s so bad. I think the photographer was looking for a tough, manly, crossed-arms pose, but what he got was Malkin going, “Like this? I put arms on elbows like this?”
I’m kind of sad Kris didn’t win, even though he was up against hard competition in Mason, but this picture makes up for it. I think the point of this pose is to put us in awe of the players’ strong build and tall bodies, but all this does is make Kris look a tad bit confused. And a little bit angry. I love the tie, but the hair has got to go. Sorry, Kris (and Cari). I just don’t think it works on you.
But I really appreciate his decision to not wear Lacoste. I was ready to fly out there and punch him if he did.
Oh, Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael. There are so many things wrong with this picture, but at the same time so many things right. It isn’t exactly a secret that I have been furious with Michael since the playoffs started, but when he showed up on that red carpet with his stupid mohawk and his smart little bowtie, my heart kind of melted. Damn you for making me love you again, Michael. Damn you.
I was really surprised to see Chara take home the Norris because I figured that even if Michael didn’t win, Lidstrom would. Whatever, Michael. You didn’t deserve the award.
However, I do think he managed to pull off a successful picture. Unlike some players (coughMalkincough) he seemed to understand how to cross his arms, and that and the slight bend in his knee is enough to give the picture a sassy tone without being too sassy. I also actually kind of like the facial expression. It looks like he tweezed his eyebrows again before hitting the show. I think he was trying to go for an alluring face.
And I’m glad his mommy could be there with him.
I consider this picture to be a win, even if the player in it didn’t do that. He’s got the right amount of smile and the right amount of folded arm, but it’s not too in your face. I’m also a huge fan of his suit.
And his name is Niklas Backstrom, and we all know how much I love men with that name.
In this pose, we have Mr. Parise attempting to put his hands on his hips. While his smile definitely gets a ten (as the puckbunnies who make bumper stickers on Facebook would say, “his face was crafted by angels”), I’m not so sure about the rest of it. It just doesn’t seem like a natural pose for Zach. It almost comes off cute, in the “aww look at the little boy trying to pose” kind of way. And it definitely looks awkward for him.
And then there’s Candy Corn Head. Oh, Candy Corn Head. I simply adore you. I’m so happy you got to take home two trophies and I loved your speeches. You’re such an eloquent speaker, even though your English is “short.” (And, did you tell the rest of the Russians to inform us that their English, too, is short? Because it seems like they all were saying it.) There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you, unless you defected to Russia. You seem like the nicest guy, and very humble. I wish you nothing but happiness.
Speaking of defections, WHY was everybody all, “Yo, Sergei, we love you, we’re letting you present the Hart Trophy, we’re calling you a Capital. It’s all good”????? He is signing with Russia. That’s what he wants to do. It was so annoying seeing him sitting there and just looking so happy when all along he was probably thinking happy thoughts about the KHL. He is supremely annoying.
And the sad thing is, if for some reason he should end up with the Caps next year I’ll probably love him again.
But all in all, I thought the awards were fun. TimTom was all cute for both of his awards, Jarome Iginla further convinced me that when I win the lottery and buy the Sabres I have to bring him in to be captain, and somehow Richard Zednik didn’t win the Masterton. That was the only one that truly perplexed me. Dude had his throat cut open and almost died last season and came back to play this season. But whatevs.
Now we get to look forward to the draft and, more importantly, Free Agency Day!!
I’m a huge fan of award shows in general. In the weeks leading up to the Oscars my cousin, my mother, and my grandmother and I have deep discussions about all of the nominees. We try to see as many as the nominated movies as possible, and after the Oscars are over we see the rest and pick them apart. The Tony’s are cause for celebration, as are all the other shows during awards season. The NHL Awards are no exception. Yes, I get that they can be a bit awkward, but you know what? I’ll take awkward!! If it means getting to see the players all dressed up and coming out to read teleprompters and look uncomfortable while making acceptance speeches before they all leave for the summer, I’ll sit through it!! And I’ll overanalyze it just as much as I overanalyze the Oscars, thank you very much.
So, yeah. I’m excited for tonight. I hope Alex wins all of his awards but I hope we still get an acceptance speech from Candy Corn Head. As much as I hate Michael at the moment and as much as I find his current behavior intolerable and think it shouldn’t be rewarded, I kind of want to see how many times he would say “whatnot” in his acceptance speech. I want to see Nick Lidstrom’s kids again. I’m sad that Lars isn’t nominated for anything, because last year when he was there in his adorable little tux, I didn’t love him as I do now and therefore couldn’t enjoy the evening properly. I don’t even remember who the nominees for coach of the year are. For Cari’s sake I want Steeger to win the Calder, but I think it’ll go to Mason.
Enjoy the awards tonight, everybody! I know I will. Ha.
P.S. It occurred to me at the Jack’s Mannequin/The Fray concert last night that instead of spending his money on hookers, Alex should be spending it on piano lessons. Every single time I see Jack’s Mannequin I’m reminded of the fact that my future husband simply must play the piano.
Huh. It’s only Monday morning. It feels like it should be a LOT later in the week than that. That’s lame. Wednesday night/all day Thursday/Friday are going to pretty much rock, but apparently I have to get through today and tomorrow first.
Guess what!! Alex is back in the U.S. right now!!! Unless he’s a little liar and was making it up when he said he was coming back on June 14 with a friend since he had never been to Vegas before. I worry about him all alone in Vegas. I wouldn’t want him to get into any shenanigans before the big day.
I don’t even remember who the other nominees are. We’re going to get a Candy Corn Head, “I want to make speech long, but English shot” acceptance speech, right? Who else will we get to see in a tux?
Now I’m so excited!! I know a lot of people don’t like the NHL Awards, but I ADORE them. I’m always a huge fan of award shows. My house pretty much shuts down for the Oscars. I don’t find the NHL Awards boring at all. Players in tuxes reading awkwardly off teleprompters? Yes!! I love it!!