Scintillating Commentary.

December 18, 2009 at 11:32 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Jeff Carter, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Randomness, Scott Hartnell, Toronto Maple Leafs, Vancouver Canucks, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

I’m so tired. I had six million tests today and I have forty-three million over the three days of class I have next week. One of those tests is on material we have not ever learned. None of this paragraph is an exaggeration.

I’m really glad the Sabres beat the Leafs because I’m too tired to come up with anything better to say. Toskala makes me L.O.L.

Stupid Vancouver just effing tied it up. And then Lars lost a faceoff, making it even worse. Chris Clark scored while I was in the car. Bless him, he’s shy.

If it turns out Jeff Carter really did sleep Scott Hartnell’s wife, that just might be the best gift I get this holiday season.

If I make it to the Sabres/Caps game (!!!!!!) Wednesday night it will be a Christmas miracle.

Thus ends my scintillating commentary.

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Can We PLEASE Get Some Talent On This Team?

March 21, 2009 at 10:26 am | Posted in Atlanta Thrashers, Chris Butler, Daniel Briere, Jason Pominville, Jeff Carter, Lindy Ruff, Losing Sucks, Patrick Kaleta, Stick a fork in it, That was absolutely terrible. | 1 Comment

Maybe if we had a few more good players (other than Vanek, Miller, Connolly, and Butler [first NHL goal!  awww!!!]), we could actually win a few games.

But I’m still okay with last night’s loss.  Accepting that the Sabres won’t make the playoffs makes it so much easier to watch them suck.

Poor Lindy.  I wish he could coach a good team.

Sabres, even though I hate you, you’re still all invited to my playoffs party.

There’s still room on the Washington Bandwagon.  You can even get started tonight!

In retrospect, I wish I had whacked Knuble with my purse when I saw him yesterday.  If that was a legit goal, then he shouldn’t have gotten credit.

I actually agreed with Harry Neale during The Whip last night.  It was weird.

Can we please bench Pominville?  Pleeeeaaaasssseee?

I know a lot of people do, but I don’t miss Danny Briere.  I was able to get over him pretty quickly after he signed with Philadelphia.

Pkaleta’s hit on Carter was funny.

The Sabres play the Thrashers two days before they play the Capitals.  I’m so excited.

Has Anyone Checked Their Handy Dandy Databases Recently?

January 17, 2009 at 9:22 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Jeff Carter, Paul Gaustad, Randomness, This Irks Me, Thought-provoking Stuff | 2 Comments

At the beginning of the year in my global class, the teacher gave us a pretty pink packet to use for maps.  It was a database, and it  contained the population, annual growth rate, P.C.I., literacy rates, life expectancies, and several other numbers that I don’t even know the significance of for every single country in the world.  As Russia is one of the top most populated nations in the world, I had to look up its population yesterday for the list on my Japan map.  After jotting down the number, I noticed something very, very concerning.  

The average male life expectancy in Russia is 59.  According to my database, Russian guys usually kick when they’re 59.  

That’s terrible!  59 is so young!!  My uncle was 59…a few years ago!  I can’t imagine him dying that young!  My friend Corinne was trying to convince me that Alex is in America now and that the life expectancy doesn’t apply to him, but he spends the off-season in Russia!  And I realize that it’s in his genes to live longer, because wasn’t the ill grandfather he went to visit in his eighties? but still.  59 is WAY TOO YOUNG.

There hasn’t been any research on Metallica concerts lengthening lives, has there?  Because he and Greenie were at one on Thursday and I’m hoping it was good for his health (unlike that sweater he decided to wear).

Tonight the Sabres play the Hurricanes.  I will literally be working on my Asian scrapbook and studying up until the puck drop, taking a short break at some point to shower.  The Sabres need to beat Carolina.  Carolina has lost four straight.  I’m hoping this rumored comeback from Thursday night didn’t tire them out too much.  I’m kind of in the mood for a blowout.

Our Chinese guest comes tonight, as well.  He won’t be getting in until almost nine, but I think I’ll be like a Japanese department store greeter and wait at home.  APPARENTLY we are not to talk politics with him.  This could be a problem, as on Tuesday he’s coming to my first period class with me while the middle school kids take state tests.  First period is my global class, and all we do is talk politics and how Asia’s going to take over the world.

After reading the paper today, I definitely think Paul should be the captain.  We would win the award for awesomest captain in the NHL.

Jeff Carter must want to die.  DAMN HIM for getting to 30 goals first.  Alex, you need to score two goals and get an assist to move ahead of Carter in the goals race and Sid in the points race.  (Interesting observation: the Pens won last night with Sid out of the lineup.  Heh.)

I Blame Jason Pominville. (#53)

January 11, 2009 at 10:43 am | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Buffalo Sabres, Derek Roy, Detroit Red Wings, Football, Jason Pominville, Jeff Carter, Losing Sucks, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Ryan Miller, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Washington Capitals | 2 Comments

There.  I said it.  I feel almost blasphemous, and I hope he doesn’t find out because I don’t want to make him cry, but I’m blaming Pommer for the loss last night.  Sure, the defense left Miller out to dry (it doesn’t matter if your goalie is as good as Ryan was last night, Defense.  You need to step it up), but when Jochen fed Pommer the puck on a two-on-one with six minutes left and he had an EMPTY NET and was unable to score, I’m going to get a little angry.  And it was his second one last night!  It looked like he had been doing the same thing against New York Friday night: having really great chances and hitting the side of the net or whiffing on the shot.  NOT COOL.  Jason, I’m sorry if I’m hurting your feelings, but brother, you need to start getting those shots.  Those are supposed to be goals right there.  

One player – other than Miller – who did show up last night?  Derek Roy.  D, you have been playing excellently lately.  I’m very proud of you.  We can’t rely on Thomas Vanek to score all our goals and it’s refreshing to see you contributing.

Detroit is really good at hockey.  Seventeen straight years in the playoffs?  On the one hand you want to be blown away by that statistic, but on the other hand you kind of want to yell at Detroit for being greedy and hogging all the good seeds.

Timmy had a couple good plays last night, a couple bad ones.  Eh.  Still a little “rusty.”  (We had an ongoing joke last night that before the game he went to my cousin’s fiance’s bar, which is literally a block away from the football field and baseball stadium, to try and pick up a few ladies.  We also had a joke about my cousin’s fiance spotting Derek the second he walked in, but that’s a whole other story.  I won’t go there.)

I hope Lalime gets the start in Chicago Wednesday night.  Miller has been on FIRE but he was starting to look a little tired at the end of the game.  That’ll be another huge game for the Sabres, and then when they play Dallas the next night it will also be important.  Carolina and Pittsburgh lost, but Florida and New Jersey won, so Buffalo can’t let those four points slip away.  

So, the Sabres aren’t playing again until Wednesday, and that game isn’t until 8:30.  I probably shouldn’t complain, because Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill are on tomorrow I have a ton of studying to do for midterms.  And the other game on Wednesday is the Capitals/Penguins game, which should be really good.  The Pens basically suck now, but it will be the second night of a back-to-back for Washington and they just lost two straight (my jersey is on a losing streak so I’m benching it Tuesday).  Then there are the Semin/Crosby and the Ovechkin/Malkin subplots.  I desperately want Semin and Crosby to fight, and I want Alex to actually grind Malkin into the boards the way he always tries to.  If Semin fights Sid, I would rewind it and record it and watch it whenever I’m in a bad mood.

Jeff Carter scored last night.  TWICE.  I have no idea what is up with him suddenly scoring all these goals, but Alex/Thomas need to start lighting the lamp again.  I will not have them lose the Maurice “Rocket” Richard Trophy to JEFF CARTER.

I don’t really want to talk about the Caps game last night.  Nylander, you better watch your back.  Alex was about to get his 28th goal and you just had to go and deflect it.  Brent Johnson, you also better watch it, because you should not be letting goals like that in with 20 seconds left.  (Seeing Bruce cover his face with his hands when that goal went in was absolutely priceless.  Poor, poor Bruce)

Since both of my teams lost last night, please indulge me.  You see, when we realized we would be getting the Hockey Night in Canada feed for the Caps game, we were at first very disappointed because it meant there would be no Joe.  HNiC made up for it, however, when they showed the locker room footage before the game.  I don’t care if it makes me sound like a puck bunny, I’m going to say it anyway:  I TOTALLY LOVE when they show us Alex WITHOUT HIS SHIRT getting ready.  My goodness, does he have the BEST BICEPS I HAVE EVER SEEN, OR WHAT.  Two tickets to the gun show!  And it was adorable how he had his big ol’ headphones on and was bobbing away to the music.  Almost as cute as when he was shaking his butt here in Buffalo during the national anthems.

I haven’t been paying all that much attention to the NFL playoffs, but I do know that after Carolina lost last night my aunt was so mad she wouldn’t even text us back.  Her love for the Panthers makes my love for the Sabres and hockey in general look like a minor interest.  She’s crazy.  She goes to every home game and gets mad at us when we don’t call her to congratulate her on their wins.  My uncle might want to put her on suicide watch.

#53:

There are so many things I could say about this video.  I almost fell out of my chair when they showed it.  I just…I can’t even describe it.  Alexander Semin and Alex Ovechkin officially beat out the Laich/Green, Petey/Royzie and Burish/Sharp bromances in the NHL.   (And apparently Alex lifted Semin up the right way, using his knees instead of his back.  What a good boy!)

Is Jarkko A Twilight Fan?

January 7, 2009 at 3:22 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Andrew Peters, Buffalo Sabres, Chris Clark, Huh?, Jarkko Ruutu, Jeff Carter, Matt Ellis, Patrick Lalime, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 4 Comments

Good grief.  I really can’t believe he bit poor Petey.  And his texting thumb, too!  The only logical explanation I can come up with, other than Ruutu just being crazy, is that he’s a Twilight fan.  Trust me on this, I go to high school.  I’m surrounded by girls talking constantly about biting.  And Jarkko’s post-game comments about Petey’s hand just being near his mouth and all that sounded exactly like five year-old Frostee.  I may or may not have bit my brother when we were really little, and when asked about it I said, “I didn’t bite him.  I just accidentally caught his hand with my mouth.”  (As you can see, I was quick and clever as a child too)  That’s basically what Jarkko’s saying, but at least Colin Campbell listened for once.  Two games for Mr. Ruutu, his second suspension of the season.  He’ll miss Boston and New York, but somehow I think that it won’t make that much of a difference for the Senators.  I can’t wait to hear what Petey has to say about the suspension.  He’s been so politically correct through the whole thing, talking about how hard it is for the referees and all that other crap.  I kind of wanted him to just trash talk Ruutu, but I guess he’s too nice for that.

The biting incident aside, that was a huge win for the Sabres.  I had absolutely ZERO confidence in them winning, because all season they’ve shown that they’re cocky and enjoy following wins over good teams with losses to crappy teams.  When Matt Ellis scored 15 seconds in (Matt!  Call me!  I promise, I’ll babysit WHENEVER you want!!!), I was quite surprised.  I definitely love the Pommer-Gaustad-Ellis line.  It’s been doing some pretty awesome stuff lately.  When Spezza scored those two goals I figured the game was over and the Sabres were going to lose.  It’s refreshing to see them hold a lead twice.  In two games.  In a row.  It was also really great for the penalty kill to be perfect, because Ottawa somehow manages to have a decent power play.  Go figure.

I think Patrick Lalime and Ryan Miller are officially BFFs now.  Did you all see the bright yellow skull cap Lala was working?

Craig decided to try and fight in his first game back after the injury.  Nice, Craig.  Screw your shoulder up again.  Teppo played, and Toni was the one out sick.  

I cheered for Vanek and his empty-netter because now he’s tied for the lead league in goals again.  Woo!  Neither Alex nor Jeff Carter were able to light the lamp last night.  Alex was, however, about to grind Carter into the Verizon Center ice when he got out of the way and Alex drilled Chris Clark instead.  I may or may not have giggled at the sight of it all.  My jersey went 4-0 as Kozlov scored the only shootout goal for the Caps and Jose stopped all three attempts.  Both Alexes were stopped in the shootout.  I thought Semin’s attempt was pretty weak, personally, and Alex just further proved that while he is a spectacular player, he’s not very good in shootouts.  I have yet to see him score a shootout goal.  Question to any Capitals fans reading this post:  Are Bruce and John Stevens in a bitch fight?

Carolina beat New Jersey so they’re still in seventh place, and Pittsburgh won (against Atlanta) to close the gap.  The game against the Rangers on Friday is actually really big; New York is six points ahead of the Sabres but with Pittsburgh only a point behind now, the Sabres need both points up for grabs.  Boston lost AGAIN to Minnesota…have the Sabres started the Bruins’ downward spiral?

Apparently Toronto traded a draft pick today for Brad May.  Interesting that Brian Burke traded for a player on the team he had just left.

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