It’s been a ridiculously, batshit crazy fairy busy past few weeks for me and I only just got a chance to sit down and watch a few of the post-elimination/locker room clean-out interviews. Since my memory of what went wrong has pretty much been reduced to “Where the eff was the Sabres top line?” and *thinks about Halak and runs off to rock back and forth in the corner*, I decided I would only watch one per team so I didn’t reopen any old wounds.
I decided to start with Nicki, because let’s be realistic: if you’re going to be watching something that will depress you merely because of what it is, that adorable ball of fudge will make it better.
I’m glad he seems to realize that they need to get their act together last year. I hope he realizes how I’ll never be able to take him completely seriously with all that blond hair. I admire his decision to wear that shirt. I thoroughly enjoy the part about two and a half minutes in when, after discussing how they need to learn, he goes, “Soooooo….”
If George McPhee does not re-sign him I will personally go to Washington and lead a revolt.
Then I went on over to the Sabres website. Since the only Sabres I’m currently not mad at for various reasons are Ryan Miller and Tyler Ennis, and I decided I wanted one last moment with the mustache, I picked Miller.
I enjoyed his postgamer because I like his suit, he’s good and pissed and looks like he wants to shank his teammates (I’m still fully on board with him slashing all of them in their sleep) and because he says “post mortem.” Well played, Mr. Miller.
I only made it forty seconds into the locker room clean out because then he said “autopsy” and I started laughing so I stopped watching. I feel so bad for that guy. Yes, he may not have been quite as insanely good as he was during the Olympics, but still, he needed a little more than what he got from his teammates. I sincerely hope he marches into Darcy’s office and demands some good players who don’t pull disappearing acts in the playoffs. I ADORE Tyler Ennis, but when he’s your best forward in the playoffs you have problems.
And now going back and watching these interviews makes me miss them all. D-bags.
Punch line. Right now. Everyone get in.
Mike Green, you first.
As far as sporting events go, tonight was one of the worst nights of my life. It ranks right up there with my birthday this year and that medal game a few days after.
I feel empty.
THE SABRES WON! THEY’RE STILL IN IT!!! I LOVE TYLER ENNIS!!!!!
Those freaking Caps make me so mad sometimes.
Yes, the Caps won 6-3 (and let me tell you something, Alexander Ovechkin looked BEYOND RIDICULOUS in his postgame interview with his ripped off sleeves and his hardhat. Me: “He looks like a gay construction worker.” Mom: “You’re completely right.” [ed. note: I mean this in a really affectionate way, trust me]). That was fun and I’m looking forward to Friday night.
But the Sabres lost in the second overtime because Drew Stafford is a worthless pile of poo and now they’re down 3-1 and there’s no way they’re gonna come back from that and I’m not even going to be able to see the game Friday so I won’t see them again until October and I’m sad and Ryan Miller deserves so much better and at this point he should probably just go on a killing spree or something because it’s not like his teammates care about him.
AND Colorado lost last night. That’s just the sour icing on the overcooked, dried-out cake.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE CAPS FINALLY WOKE UP!!!! WOOO!!! I STILL DON’T LIKE MIKE GREEN!!!!! WOO!! MATT BRADLEY IS SUCH AN AWESOME SECRET WEAPON TO HAVE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!! WOO!!
The Alex/Nicki near-makeout after Alex’s goal will go down as my favorite playoffs moment possibly ever, regardless of what happens in the rest of the playoffs. I think that’s the best celebration I’ve ever seen.
Those freakin’ Sabres make me so freakin’ angry. Vanek would’ve made a huge difference, but from what I saw in the third period they looked like a disinterested pile of crap and from what I saw on Twitter it sounds like it wasn’t much different during the first two periods. Ryan Miller deserves so much better.
Dear Sabres Not Named Ryan Miller,
Has it even occurred to you douchebags that he’s nominated for the Vezina Trophy? Has it even occurred to you that you could argue that the nomination is in spite of you?
I Don’t Like You Very Much Right Now,
Joy: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY HOCKEY GODS NICKLAS I DIDN’T THINK YOU COULD GET BETTER BUT YOU DID!!
Mike Green is even worse than last year. Yeah, I WENT THERE.
I’m so glad they (mostly) woke up. I was worried.
Sorrow: Deat great and powerful hockey gods, I will do whatever (WHATEVER) you want, just please, please, please, by some miracle, allow Thomas to be okay. We need him. The Sabres need him. The city of Buffalo needs him.
I really don’t have anything to say about that game. I only saw the third period but it seems like once again, the team didn’t give Lala any support and once again they couldn’t score enough goals. Sabres, I was so happy and hopeful about you after Tuesday night, and then you have to go and pull something like THIS. Thanks a lot.
Both the Sabres and Caps went to overtime. The Sabres lost. (Let’s not talk about it, Tyler.) The Caps won because Lars Nicklas Backstrom is so good at hockey and I don’t even know what words to use to describe him anymore.
For yesterday: the baby pictures made my life, I’m really sorry but I love Pavel Datsyuk, and Jochen Hecht played an amazing game. Too bad he couldn’t look like that more often.
Today: I love Nicki, I love Nicki, Flash and Fehric are really good together, and I love Nicki.
I’m not even going to say anything about Alex’s hit on Campbell. It looked like Soupy toe-picked. In one angle it looked like Alex got his back and from another angle it looked like he got his arm. I really don’t know. There’s no consistency in the NHL so it could go either way. The one thing I don’t like is Alex being compared to Matt Cooke. They are so completely different.
This game was really huge, because if it turns out it is a Stanley Cup Finals preview, I think Washington won the mental war today.
I’m not going to be able to see either game on Tuesday since I have a concert, but I already know what’ll happen for Buffalo: Atlanta will win. MacArthur and Max are probably going to have career nights too. At least the Sabres are predictable.
Patrick Kaleta interrupted an Adam Mair joke when he scored. Thanks, kiddo.
I watched about five minutes of that game and everyone who saw the whole thing confirmed that it was really boring.
Ryan was so cute on The Today Show. We done good, Buffalo.
The Caps are no longer undefeated at home this year, but at least they got a point after Varly just sort of rolled over and died.
Mama O ACTUALLY CUT Alex’s hair. I missed the first two periods so I thought that was just the running joke, BUT NO. That’s great. Really great. She should just get props for actually holding him down long enough to cut it, because all the guys I know do not like it when their moms whip out the scissors.