Sad Times.

December 29, 2009 at 10:34 am | Posted in Andrej Sekera, Carolina Hurricanes, Chris Clark, Empty Threats, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Losing Sucks, Olympics, Players, Sidney Crosby, That was absolutely terrible., This Irks Me, Washington Capitals | Leave a comment

Last night the Capitals lost to the pukey Hurricanes 6-3.  Eric Staal had a FIVE POINT night.  Let that all sink in, kids.  6-3.  To the Hurricanes.

Bruce and Brooks and everyone else keeps going on and on about how finding out two hours before a game that two teammates/friends/the captain had been traded wasn’t the reason for their total disinterest in the game.  I know they’ve got to say things like that.  And part of that game was Theo sucking and Erskine sucking and then both of them sucking together.

But part of it was the trade.  You could tell.  The guys looked on the verge of tears in the postgame interviews.  I don’t understand why the trade had to be made RIGHT THEN.  If it had been in the works since September, it could have been done after the game or long enough before that the guys weren’t all in shock on the ice.

I just hope this game isn’t an indication of how things are going to go out in California.  That…would be bad.

At one point last night I read somewhere that they wouldn’t rush to name a new captain out of respect for Christopher.  Um, two things:

1.)  I get that, but right now your team is captainless and after the game last night, they need someone to stand up and tell them they all suck and get them motivated.

2.)  You’re really talking about respect for him right after you traded him?  For reals?

I’m taking this trade much harder than I probably should, but I’m on break so it’s not like I have other things to think about.

I can’t be mad at Lars Nicklas for taking a double minor because I still can’t stop laughing that he actually high-sticked a guy and did so hard enough to draw blood.

Andrej Sekera made the Slovakian Olympic team.  Woo, Reggie!  I’m not a huge fan of him and his bald head, but congrats.  Gooo Olympics!

I decided that if Paul makes Team USA I might have to splurge and get a Gaustad Team USA jersey.  Otherwise I’ll just get an Ovechkin Russia one or a Backstrom Sweden one.  My birthday is, after all, in the midst of all the Olympic fun.

If the Sabres fail to score on 17 power plays like they did last time they played Pittsburgh I will flip shit.  They also better win this game.  I looked for Sidney Crosby when I was at the mall yesterday but alas, it would appear as though he has filled his shopping quota for the month.

Things That Are Good And Things That Are Bad.

November 30, 2009 at 9:59 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Atlanta Thrashers, Bobbleheads, Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Henrik Tallinder, Jochen Hecht, Jose Theodore, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Ryan Miller, This Irks Me, Tim Kennedy, Toronto Maple Leafs, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome, WORST DAY IN MY LIFE BAR NONE. | Leave a comment

Things that are good:

  • Ryan Miller got a shutout!  And not just a Ryan Miller Shutout, but a real one.  Oh, Ryan.  Your shutouts make me so happy.  I may be freaked out about this spring when you’re so tired you can’t even get your skates on, but I have to admit that I’m completely in love with your badass play right now.
  • Timmy K scoring!  And Jochen scoring!  And Henrik scoring!  Look at all that scoring love right there!
  • Beating the Leafs.  Hahahahaha.
  • Lars getting a three point night.  Larsiepoo, I love you.
  • Jose playing a solid game after having a lot of time off.  Jose, I sincerely hope that you’ve been able to work through your personal issues.  And I’m glad you’re playing well.
  • The Thrashers winning.  I love them.

Things that are bad:

  • Now that I’ve worn out my caps lock, let’s continue in a rational manner.  Oh my good golly gosh, that was awful.  I’ve never seen him in so much pain before ever.  This is so bad.  The Capitals are in deep shit without him.  Team Russia needs him.  I want to see him play live.  Lars needs him.  I can’t believe he would do something so dirty.  Stupid, stupid Alexander.

I’m going to go hang out with Little Ryan, because he isn’t pissing me off right now.  Looks like it’ll be time to get the bobblehead bandaids back out again.

I Knew It.

November 17, 2009 at 9:45 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Bills, Brian Engblom's Hair, Brooks Laich, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Jose Theodore, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Mike Knuble, Patrick Lalime, Semyon Varlamov, Twins Named Lundqvist, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

When I sit on the right side of the room in my Caps jersey during the game, they usually win. Note the usually, this way I’m not making an absolute statement and I avoid a jinx.

Tonight was no exception. Alex scored, his arm didn’t fall back off, and Bloody Brads got the game winner. That always makes it a good night. He pretty much owns Pretty Henrik at this point.

Seeing Varly play well makes me happy.

Seeing the Caps score on the power play also makes me happy. This is a team that is supposed to score when they have the man advantage. I expect that from him.

I don’t know what the Caps would do without Brooksie.

I miss Mike Knuble, however, I’m glad Perreault gets to stay up. He’s spectacular. I pretty much adore him.

I hope everything’s ok with Jose. I five him a lot of crap but he’s been through a lot over the past few months.

I’m glad Alex scored. It was about time.

Lars got a penalty after a scrum along the boards. I’m sure it’s from forgetting to say please and thank you, or eating with his elbows on the table, or something along those lines.

If Lala doesn’t play tomorrow night, I will NOT be amused.

In other, non-hockey news, DICK JAURON GOT FIRED!!!!! Ralph, it is about effing time. They’re certainly not going to be any better, but Dick was at least a portion of the problem. Woohoo!

I Am Tired And I Am Cranky.

November 6, 2009 at 11:18 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Derek Roy, Empty Threats, Jose Theodore, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Lindy Ruff, Losing Sucks, Philadelphia Flyers, Players, Randomness, Ryan Miller, That was absolutely terrible., This Irks Me, Tim Kennedy, Tyler Myers, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

The Sabres lost 5-2 to the Flyers.  This is pukey and disgusting and gross and yucky and I don’t ever want to talk about it ever again.  End of story, goodbye.

Well, no.  I’m just tired and by extension, I’m not in the best of moods.  I wanted the Sabres to compete tonight and play hard and at least make it a close one.  Yes, Tyler scored to make it 4-2, but I didn’t see that goal and they still ended up losing.  Not cool, Buffalo.  Not.  Cool.

After the second period I kind of gave up on them and flipped over to the Capitals game.  Whatever.  At least they won.

Ryan Miller has been really good so far this season, but if he’s in net tomorrow night I will flip shit.  Lindy, STOP PLAYING HIM.  OMG HE’S GOING TO BREAK.

Jose has been really good too.  This makes me happy, but this confuses me.  Jose, you’re supposed to suck and make me want to hurt people.  What is this?

I’m glad Derek finally started scoring.  Thank you, D.  I appreciate it.

Tim Kennedy is just good at life.  He and Mike Grier are so awesome together.

I wonder how many posts I’m going to write this year that involve the sentence “Timmy K and Mike Grier rock my socks when they play together on a line.”

I’m a bit perplexed by the Flyers.  First, they’re so good and they’re amazing and they could ever win the Stanley Cup!  Then they’re a one-line team.  They certainly have a few injuries, but I don’t like using that as an excuse.  It seems like such a copout.  Half the players are going to be injured by the time you get to the Cup finals; you need to suck it up and be able to get past injuries during the regular season.

I like Mo the Second.

The Capitals are all breaking one by one.  If something happens to Lars I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.

This post is very rambly.  I apologize.  I’m watching last night’s “Project Runway” and I’m really worried that Christopher is going to make it to Fashion Week.

Those Little Bastards

April 9, 2009 at 2:25 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Jaroslav Spacek, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Randomness, Ryan Miller, This Irks Me, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

I fail to see why the Sabres had to go and win last night.  Sabres, you really need to stop this.  If you keeping stringing us along like this we’ll get angry and stop rooting for you say mean things about you.  Winning like that was SO unnecessary.  

Also, Ryan Miller, I hate your new helmet.  It’s dumb.  I think you should go back to your old one.

But, um, RJ?  You shouting “The Goose!  The Goose!” was kind of the highlight of my evening.

And the Jaro interview.  Caveman, I’m kind of in love with you.

And I’m happy that the NHL schedule-makers scheduled tonight’s Caps game at 7:30, because even though I have to watch the Sabres game tonight, at least I can see most of the Capitals too.  I’m a nerd.  I get excited when this happens.  (Dear Alex,  THREE points and you take over the league lead!  Think about it.  With Love, Frostee)

At the risk of pissing off the Chicago fans (and their numbers are increasing daily), I’m really glad Columbus clinched a playoffs spot last night.  When you think about it it’s really great that they’re finally headed to the playoffs.  They’re cute.  I like them a lot.

If Don Cherry could hear me he’d slap me and scream that if a straight-bladed stick is good enough for Sidney Crosby then it should certainly be good enough for me, but we’re playing floor hockey in gym and I simply CAN NOT play with these straight blades.  I need a little curve.  I did, however, manage to go 1/1 on the faceoffs, and the mere fact that I was the only girl on my all-girls team who knows what a winger is/where a winger stands should earn me some kind of medal.  

The other team’s goalie was crazy.  At one point he threw off his gloves and ran down the ice, scored a goal, and then came back.  It was hilarious.  I wish NHL goalies did that sometimes.


March 29, 2009 at 9:21 am | Posted in Atlanta Thrashers, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Ilya Kovalchuk, Jason Pominville, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Ryan Miller, Toni Lydman, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

I do not care if the Sabres don’t make the playoffs this year.  Toni Lydman scoring the only goal of the shootout is officially my Sabres Highlight of the Year.  I wish you could have seen me when Toni came over the boards.  I had been lying on the couch and literally sat up and threw my hands over my face.  I am not kidding.  Then I cursed the hockey gods.  Then Toni scored and I cracked up.  FYI, Toni has never missed a shootout goal in his career.

After Pommer missed on his attempt I saw him say the F-word.  Jason, that kind of language is NOT ALLOWED.  I am WASHING YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP.

Miller stopped every single shot in the shootout.  I’m so glad I wore my Miller shirt yesterday.  We were watching the HNiC pre-game show and I found it quite interesting when they showed Ryan and Carey getting ready.  Carey had a really tight wife beater that appeared to be made of under-armor material.  It showed off his tanned, muscular arms quite nicely.  Ryan had one of his baggy Sabres hoodies on.  He is so the emo kid on the team.

If there aren’t any suspensions after that hit on Patty I’ll personally start a riot.  That is a DANGEOUS HIT TO THE HEAD, NHL.  GET ON IT.

I’m pretty sure Buffalo got called 18 times for “playing against Montreal” last night.  That’s the most popular penalty in the NHL right now.  Tampa Bay got called for it a ton of times on Thursday.

Goosie got a Gordie Howe Hat Trick on Friday?  Sweet!

I would just like to let everyone know that the Atlanta Thrashers won 6-3 last night after trailing to Ottawa.  I was on the phone with my mom when they scored the sixth goal on the power play and I dropped the phone and yelped excitedly.  Ilya got his fortieth goal!!!

I still don’t believe that the Sabres will make the playoffs (although if they won both games of a back-to-back thanks to Toni Lydman, anything is possible), but I do feel myself warming to them again.  I’ve always loved them, but now I can like them again.

I’m On To You, Sabres

March 12, 2009 at 8:31 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 2 Comments

Sabres, you know I love you.  The thing is, even though you won and the Caveman and Pie and TV scored, I’m still not sure if I like you.  I certainly haven’t recently.

*narrows eyes*

Watch yourselves.

See? THESE Sabres Are Fun!

March 7, 2009 at 9:02 am | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Chris Butler, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Jason Pominville, Maxim Afinogenov, Patrick Lalime, Tim Connolly, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

I had a really good time watching the game last night.  I was tired and cranky and I desperately wanted to see the fun Sabres that we saw Wednesday night.  I prefer these Sabres exponentially to the who-really-cares-how-well-Patty’s-playing-we-don’t-feel-like-scoring Sabres.  Aside from the fact that the four points they picked up are HUGE in the playoff race, they’re actually making watching them an enjoyable activity.  

I was a little unhappy with the amount on Timmy’s contract when he first signed it, but honestly?  If he keeps it up it could be a bargain.  He may be kind of an asshole and a “selfish dink,” but he’s still an incredible hockey player.  

I’m not the hugest Max Afinogenov fan but I admire how not only has he been playing like a man possessed the last two games, but after that hit last night he got back up and kept playing.  Good grief.  I can’t believe he could even move after that.  We’re really lucky that he went back-first into the boards, because if he was going head-first they would have been carrying him out on a stretcher.

I’m really glad Pommer finally got a goal.

It is a GOOD THING that Lala is under contract next year too.  I love him.  He’s wonderful.  He’s everything I could ever ask for in a backup.

I think Stafford was looking for that goal last night.  He was shooting the puck and going crazy and was so pumped when he finally got it.

That power play work made me really happy.  I love when the Sabres score power play goals.

Wayne Gretzky kind of needed to just shut the eff up last night.  Holy crap, he would NOT stop mouthing off to the officials.  Maybe I’m wrong, but I could have sworn I heard Rob or Harry or somebody say the refs even told him to shut up earlier on.  Jovanovski shouldn’t have taken that penalty late in the game, but the 5-3 was entirely Gretzky’s fault.

My beloved Thrashers shut out the Canadiens.  This is why I love them.

Calgary did us absolutely NO help and lost to Carolina.  I get that Buffalo is incapable of winning on the second game of a back-to-back/beating Ottawa, but tonight’s points are so critical that if they don’t win I might kill them all.  I’m sure Patty’ll be playing because even though Lindy said my Trendy Euro Sabre will get the start tonight, Lala’s been HOT and Lindy loves riding hot goalies.

That Chris Butler interview on the Sabres Show might just be the most adorable one yet.  He’s amazing.  I want him to stay here forever.

Tonight all the lady bloggers are getting together to watch the game at Tully’s.  It should be a lot of fun.  I like watching hockey games with other girls who appreciate how good the players are in addition to how beautiful they are.

That Was So Bad (#57)

February 12, 2009 at 9:14 am | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Losing Sucks, Mike Green, Ottawa Senators, That was absolutely terrible., This Irks Me, Washington Capitals | Leave a comment

That was hands-down the worst Sabres game I have seen this year.  Sure, the Washington game was a pile of shit, but since my second favorite team in the whole wide world was there and I was wearing a jersey for that team, I was able to cheer for the Caps and I had a lovely time.  Last night was just plain awful.  And really slow.  I want those three hours of my life back.

How many power plays did the Sabres have that they didn’t convert?  For reals, Sabres?  Their power play is so bad that by the sixth penalty they should have just been declining man-advantages.

Apparently players on the other team can just walk all over Miller now.  I can not believe it took until the end of the third period for Chris Butler to finally say, “Hey, leave our goalie alone.”  That was unacceptable.  

I don’t want to talk about that game.  I want to remove it from memory.  You have no idea how glad I am that I won’t have to watch the San Jose game on Friday.  Thank God for Mamma Mia!

Dear Buffalo Sabres Power Play,

You are the worst thing I have ever had the misfortune to lay eyes on.  I hope you all eat rotten meat.  You disgust me.  I am never talking to you ever again.

With Love,


Last night’s Caps game was all awesome and badass with Michael scoring TWO WHOLE GOALS and then it went into the shootout and Alex scored, which is a rare occurrence, and then Jose kicked the puck into the net after it bounced off the crossbar.  You, my dear Jose, suck.  

Dear Varlamov,

Please get well soon, because the Capitals desperately need you.

With Love,


Since the stupid Sabres put me in a bad mood on my wind day, I will just have to try and make myself happy again.  I’ll pack and make cookies later, but first I’ll share this little gem with you all:

I’m not sure which part is my favorite.  The part where he announces that while this year scoring 90 goals won’t happen but next year he’ll give it a go, or the part where he says he and Nick and Michael have something wacky planned for the playoffs.  I can’t wait to see it.

Speaking of the playoffs, I realized something last night.  It was about this time last year that I decided the Sabres were slowly killing me and that I needed to turn to a new team to soothe my aching soul.  Dear Readers, I’m pretty sure it is approximately the one year anniversary of my becoming a Washington Capitals fan.  Ah, how the time flies.

Is That An Apple In Your Toga Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

February 2, 2009 at 3:20 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Football, Huh?, Mike Weber, Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators, Randomness, Washington Capitals | 2 Comments

Sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.  It’s just the artwork for this week’s chapter in our Latin textbook offers so many possibilities for inappropriate jokes.  There are two women sitting next to each other and it appears as though they’re watching each other lovingly and feeding each other grapes.  Then there are the sexual poses SEVERAL of the men are striking on their reclined chairs as they stare across the mensae at each other with looks that can only be described as lustful.  Then there’s the porcus, who is for some reason lacking the customary apple in the mouth. I coined the title of this post when we noticed that Titus, the alcoholic older brother who arrived late, was staring at another man’s private area right near the apple-less pig.   I love Latin.  You all have no idea.  I have been called the Alexander Ovechkin of Latin (or Wayne Gretzky, *winkTwihardwink*).  We got our review schedule for the N.L.E. (National Latin Exam) today and I am pumped.  I might have to skip one of the reviews, though, because it’s on my birthday and I have to come home and do homework make myself beautiful for the hockey game that night.  Bummer.  

The Super Bowl yesterday wanted to kill me.  It really did.  I…just… ARGH!  STUPID DAMN CARDINALS COULDN’T HOLD ON FOR THE BIGGEST FREAKING COMEBACK IN FREAKING SUPER BOWL HISTORY.  CARDINALS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH TODAY?!!?  It was terrible.  First, my beloved teacher was wearing his NEW Roethlisberger jersey, because one simply isn’t enough.  He clearly doesn’t care about his authentic jersey (and it’s authentic.  I made a smartass comment to him about it before the bell and while the sarcasm flew over his head and out the door, he informed me that it was as authentic as a jersey could possibly be), however, because he spilled coffee right down the white front.  He dug up a Tide-To-Go stick to try and clean it, but it didn’t work.  He’ll just send it out for dry cleaning.  He informed us that he did have to wipe away a tear when the Cardinals scored late, prompting his wife to tell him that he’s pathetic.  Later in the class, he did a little jig and let us all know that we could never understand his love for the Steelers.  He just loves them so much.  I even have a quote, verbatim, to show you how much he loves them:

“I love the Steelers so much.  You guys can’t even begin to understand it.  I really just want to gather them all into my arms and give them a huge hug.”

Yeah.  Just in case you forgot, this is the man who also proudly wears a Pominville jersey.  I was wiping away my own tears by the end of the period, except mine were of mirth.

Craig Hartsburg was fired.  Good grief.  It’s about time, Ottawa.  Was it the terrible game against the Caps yesterday that prompted you to can him?  Because that’s pretty much what the Sens have looked like all year long.  And I don’t really think a new coach is going to turn the franchise around.  In case you hadn’t noticed, they have almost the exact same team they had in the Cup Finals a few years ago, minus an angry goalie and a few other spare parts.

Speaking of that game yesterday – that Caps game that was ridiculously awesome and totally hilarious? – I just wanted to reassure anyone worried about me that I haven’t given my heart to a total badass who would be a bad influence.  On the contrary, my man hits the hay around eight the night before an afternoon game.

The Canadiens’ jerseys yesterday were really bad.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Mikey Mike got called back up!  Woo!  Ahh!  The Sabres’ defense is almost comical at this point, but hey, we need them to stay strong.  There are another critical two points on the line tonight.  The Sabres need to pad their spot in the standings especially now that Carolina has come back up out of NOWHERE and is occupying the spot two points behind.  I…won’t be watching the game tonight.  I’d like to, but if I’m expected to lead a debate team at seven in the morning tomorrow, staying up until midnight watching hockey probably isn’t the best idea.  

Go Sabres!  Don’t get all pissy on me and purposefully lose because I’m not watching.  Remember, I have secondary teams and I’m not afraid to use them.

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