Yesterday afternoon, Alexander, Lars, Michael and Bruce took in the Washington Redskins game. They did the same thing last year (the picture of Lars in his American Eagle sweater and Alex in his leatherhead may or may not be the wallpaper on my phone), and once again, DC Sports Bog was there to take in the action. Alex kicked field goals, Lars wore an actual jersey, Michael’s hat irked me. Good times were had by all.
This post sums up the shenanigans Lars and Michael got into after the game when they played media. Michael seemed to be pretty in-depth, Lars was being cute and adorable and asking the touchy-feely questions. They complemented each other nicely.
Then the question was asked. Why did Lars choose a Sean Taylor jersey? I’ll be honest, I don’t even know what to say to his response.
“Actually, I got Ovie’s. I was sleeping over at Ovie’s house [Saturday] night, so I just got his jersey. I usually wear Santana Moss.”
What does someone say to that? How should I even react to this?? Lars and Alex have sleepovers. I bet they pop popcorn and spread out sleeping bags in the basement and play video games and watch scary and/or slightly risque movies until Papa O comes down and tells them they finally have to go to bed.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I love these two even more. Now who’s the biggest bromance on the team? Is it still Alex/Alex? Michael and Brooks? Lars and Michael? Lars and Alex? They’re all just so cute and wonderful together.
I wish the Sabres had sleepovers. Who wouldn’t want to hear about Paul and Ryan getting together and watching Nick at Nite into the wee hours of the morning?
Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. It’s just the artwork for this week’s chapter in our Latin textbook offers so many possibilities for inappropriate jokes. There are two women sitting next to each other and it appears as though they’re watching each other lovingly and feeding each other grapes. Then there are the sexual poses SEVERAL of the men are striking on their reclined chairs as they stare across the mensae at each other with looks that can only be described as lustful. Then there’s the porcus, who is for some reason lacking the customary apple in the mouth. I coined the title of this post when we noticed that Titus, the alcoholic older brother who arrived late, was staring at another man’s private area right near the apple-less pig. I love Latin. You all have no idea. I have been called the Alexander Ovechkin of Latin (or Wayne Gretzky, *winkTwihardwink*). We got our review schedule for the N.L.E. (National Latin Exam) today and I am pumped. I might have to skip one of the reviews, though, because it’s on my birthday and I have to come home and do homework make myself beautiful for the hockey game that night. Bummer.
The Super Bowl yesterday wanted to kill me. It really did. I…just… ARGH! STUPID DAMN CARDINALS COULDN’T HOLD ON FOR THE BIGGEST FREAKING COMEBACK IN FREAKING SUPER BOWL HISTORY. CARDINALS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH TODAY?!!? It was terrible. First, my beloved teacher was wearing his NEW Roethlisberger jersey, because one simply isn’t enough. He clearly doesn’t care about his authentic jersey (and it’s authentic. I made a smartass comment to him about it before the bell and while the sarcasm flew over his head and out the door, he informed me that it was as authentic as a jersey could possibly be), however, because he spilled coffee right down the white front. He dug up a Tide-To-Go stick to try and clean it, but it didn’t work. He’ll just send it out for dry cleaning. He informed us that he did have to wipe away a tear when the Cardinals scored late, prompting his wife to tell him that he’s pathetic. Later in the class, he did a little jig and let us all know that we could never understand his love for the Steelers. He just loves them so much. I even have a quote, verbatim, to show you how much he loves them:
“I love the Steelers so much. You guys can’t even begin to understand it. I really just want to gather them all into my arms and give them a huge hug.”
Yeah. Just in case you forgot, this is the man who also proudly wears a Pominville jersey. I was wiping away my own tears by the end of the period, except mine were of mirth.
Craig Hartsburg was fired. Good grief. It’s about time, Ottawa. Was it the terrible game against the Caps yesterday that prompted you to can him? Because that’s pretty much what the Sens have looked like all year long. And I don’t really think a new coach is going to turn the franchise around. In case you hadn’t noticed, they have almost the exact same team they had in the Cup Finals a few years ago, minus an angry goalie and a few other spare parts.
Speaking of that game yesterday – that Caps game that was ridiculously awesome and totally hilarious? – I just wanted to reassure anyone worried about me that I haven’t given my heart to a total badass who would be a bad influence. On the contrary, my man hits the hay around eight the night before an afternoon game.
The Canadiens’ jerseys yesterday were really bad. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Mikey Mike got called back up! Woo! Ahh! The Sabres’ defense is almost comical at this point, but hey, we need them to stay strong. There are another critical two points on the line tonight. The Sabres need to pad their spot in the standings especially now that Carolina has come back up out of NOWHERE and is occupying the spot two points behind. I…won’t be watching the game tonight. I’d like to, but if I’m expected to lead a debate team at seven in the morning tomorrow, staying up until midnight watching hockey probably isn’t the best idea.
Go Sabres! Don’t get all pissy on me and purposefully lose because I’m not watching. Remember, I have secondary teams and I’m not afraid to use them.
Last night’s Sabres game was awesome. Just great. I loved the game against Edmonton because, um, who doesn’t love it when their team scores TEN GOALS in one game? The game against Calgary put me in a poor mood, but yesterday had been going so well for a hockey fan that I hoped the Sabres wouldn’t disappoint me.
Where do I start? With Ryan Miller and his REAL shutout, which was great? I really think it’s all mental with him. People in Buffalo like to beat him up for being a mediocre goalie, but he really just has to flip that switch. He looked great last night. I always got the feeling that he doesn’t do shutouts, but he’s already got four on the year. Woo!
Speaking of Ryan Miller, that article in the paper was really great. The picture on the front was a liiiittttllle creepy, but other than that I liked it a lot. Hearing what his parents had to say about him was nice. I know what it feels like to lose someone really close to cancer, and it really sucks. I think it’s incredible that he managed to turn that into a successful charity. It’s all very cool. I fully expect a call from my grandmother this afternoon reminding me that Ryan really is “a very nice boy,” and that I should DEFINITELY marry him. I absolutely love how my 86 year-old grandmother has a crush on Ryan Miller. It’s even cuter than her crush on Michael Phelps. (And just for the record, Grandma? You know I would marry him! He’s just a little old for me. It would be a lot less creepy if Alex and I got married. Plus there’s that thing Mom has with his eyebrows.)
You know who else is totally amazing? That would be Derek Roy. That pass last night was beautiful. He did a great job just throwing that puck to Pie to set up that goal. He was getting knocked down so there was a really good chance that the puck would go flying the wrong way or Pie would miss it, but the fact that Derek managed to get it to him and Pie managed to score was great. I got all excited and started jumping around after that goal.
Pkaleta came back and got in a fight! I was so excited that he was back in the lineup, but I freaked out when he got in that fight. PATRICK. You have been walking around in a NECK BRACE for the past two months. BE CAREFUL. He lost, but, you know, a fight is a fight, and I’m just glad he didn’t fall apart.
Jaro and Jochen did, however, fall apart. I hope they both get better quickly. I don’t want to hurt Jochen’s feelings, but I’m a little more worried about Jaro. Aside from the fact that our defensive corps consists of like two players at this point, Jochen hasn’t really been a huge contributor out there. He’s kind of been getting on my nerves this season.
Patches’s fight was really cute. That’s the only way I can describe it.
I have a confession to make. Tim Connolly is really good at hockey. See, I have this mental state where it’s easier for me to just loathe Timmy, because then when he gets hurt I can say, “Oh, well, he’s a loser and I dislike him strongly so whatever.” But Dear Readers, Timmy is really, really good at hockey. When he’s healthy and playing like he’s been playing these past few games, he’s such an asset to the team. The Sabres really can’t keep him because there’s such a risk of him getting hurt, but can you imagine if he was always healthy? I get excited just thinking about it. Maybe Darcy could sign him for a lot less? Because If we could get him for a bargain it would be great to have him around…he’s just such a liability. He has to realize that he couldn’t make as much as he’s worth though because of his injury history. Hmm. This will be tough. As it’s the second half of the season, I’ve been thinking a lot about which UFAs the Sabres should keep. Max is gone, but I almost think they should keep Al, even if for no other reason than to have him around for shootouts. Timmy..I don’t know about him. There would be pros and cons if he stuck around.
The Leafs beat the Pens last night (thank you Luke Schenn and your amazing hitting powers), so now there’s a four point cushion between the Sabres and the Penguins. Only three points between the Sabres and the Panthers, and the Hurricanes somehow managed to sneak back in and are only two points behind. It’ll be another huge game in Anaheim tomorrow night. The Sabres need all the points they can get.
One quick question: Why does Wayne Gretzky always look so EXTREMELY peeved when he’s coaching? If he’s not careful, his face is going to freeze with him looking majorly pissed like that.
Tonight we will all be settling in to watch the Super Bowl. I am rooting for Arizona for two reasons:
1. I love a good underdog. I rooted for the Giants last year because I wanted the underdog to win. (I also rooted for them because I love the Manning brothers unconditionally and because Tom Brady is a douche, but that’s not important now)
2. Remember the teacher I mentioned a few days ago, the one we all hate? Well, he has a major man-crush on Ben Roethlisberger and absolutely loves the Steelers. To put it in perspective: his love for Big Ben makes me look like I’m mildly interested in Alex Ovechkin. He had tickets to a Steelers game a few months ago and was actually kissing them before the bell rang. His computer desktop is a huge picture of Ben Roethlisberger. (Frostee’s Mom: Well, you have a picture of Alex on your desktop, and you have tons of pictures of hockey players on your walls. Frostee: Yeah. I’m also a teenaged girl. Not a 30 year-old married man. Frostee’s Dad: *snorts on his water*) He even got into a huge argument with one of the kids in class on Monday when the boy suggested that the Cardinals would win this year because they’re the underdogs like the Giants were. My dear teacher spent a good ten minutes yelling about how this Super Bowl will be won by the team with the best defense, and that is OBVIOUSLY the Steelers. It was absolutely hilarious watching him.
So, Cardinals! May the best defense team win! I will be watching the Sens/Caps game working on my debate and helping with the pizza bread until then. (Yesterday’s post game interview was SO CUTE because when Alex was talking about why 12:30 games suck he mentioned “sleeping before…in a bed.” Oh, Alex. What would we do without you always clarifying where and why certain things happen?)
There. I said it. I feel almost blasphemous, and I hope he doesn’t find out because I don’t want to make him cry, but I’m blaming Pommer for the loss last night. Sure, the defense left Miller out to dry (it doesn’t matter if your goalie is as good as Ryan was last night, Defense. You need to step it up), but when Jochen fed Pommer the puck on a two-on-one with six minutes left and he had an EMPTY NET and was unable to score, I’m going to get a little angry. And it was his second one last night! It looked like he had been doing the same thing against New York Friday night: having really great chances and hitting the side of the net or whiffing on the shot. NOT COOL. Jason, I’m sorry if I’m hurting your feelings, but brother, you need to start getting those shots. Those are supposed to be goals right there.
One player – other than Miller – who did show up last night? Derek Roy. D, you have been playing excellently lately. I’m very proud of you. We can’t rely on Thomas Vanek to score all our goals and it’s refreshing to see you contributing.
Detroit is really good at hockey. Seventeen straight years in the playoffs? On the one hand you want to be blown away by that statistic, but on the other hand you kind of want to yell at Detroit for being greedy and hogging all the good seeds.
Timmy had a couple good plays last night, a couple bad ones. Eh. Still a little “rusty.” (We had an ongoing joke last night that before the game he went to my cousin’s fiance’s bar, which is literally a block away from the football field and baseball stadium, to try and pick up a few ladies. We also had a joke about my cousin’s fiance spotting Derek the second he walked in, but that’s a whole other story. I won’t go there.)
I hope Lalime gets the start in Chicago Wednesday night. Miller has been on FIRE but he was starting to look a little tired at the end of the game. That’ll be another huge game for the Sabres, and then when they play Dallas the next night it will also be important. Carolina and Pittsburgh lost, but Florida and New Jersey won, so Buffalo can’t let those four points slip away.
So, the Sabres aren’t playing again until Wednesday, and that game isn’t until 8:30. I probably shouldn’t complain, because Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill are on tomorrow I have a ton of studying to do for midterms. And the other game on Wednesday is the Capitals/Penguins game, which should be really good. The Pens basically suck now, but it will be the second night of a back-to-back for Washington and they just lost two straight (my jersey is on a losing streak so I’m benching it Tuesday). Then there are the Semin/Crosby and the Ovechkin/Malkin subplots. I desperately want Semin and Crosby to fight, and I want Alex to actually grind Malkin into the boards the way he always tries to. If Semin fights Sid, I would rewind it and record it and watch it whenever I’m in a bad mood.
Jeff Carter scored last night. TWICE. I have no idea what is up with him suddenly scoring all these goals, but Alex/Thomas need to start lighting the lamp again. I will not have them lose the Maurice “Rocket” Richard Trophy to JEFF CARTER.
I don’t really want to talk about the Caps game last night. Nylander, you better watch your back. Alex was about to get his 28th goal and you just had to go and deflect it. Brent Johnson, you also better watch it, because you should not be letting goals like that in with 20 seconds left. (Seeing Bruce cover his face with his hands when that goal went in was absolutely priceless. Poor, poor Bruce)
Since both of my teams lost last night, please indulge me. You see, when we realized we would be getting the Hockey Night in Canada feed for the Caps game, we were at first very disappointed because it meant there would be no Joe. HNiC made up for it, however, when they showed the locker room footage before the game. I don’t care if it makes me sound like a puck bunny, I’m going to say it anyway: I TOTALLY LOVE when they show us Alex WITHOUT HIS SHIRT getting ready. My goodness, does he have the BEST BICEPS I HAVE EVER SEEN, OR WHAT. Two tickets to the gun show! And it was adorable how he had his big ol’ headphones on and was bobbing away to the music. Almost as cute as when he was shaking his butt here in Buffalo during the national anthems.
I haven’t been paying all that much attention to the NFL playoffs, but I do know that after Carolina lost last night my aunt was so mad she wouldn’t even text us back. Her love for the Panthers makes my love for the Sabres and hockey in general look like a minor interest. She’s crazy. She goes to every home game and gets mad at us when we don’t call her to congratulate her on their wins. My uncle might want to put her on suicide watch.
There are so many things I could say about this video. I almost fell out of my chair when they showed it. I just…I can’t even describe it. Alexander Semin and Alex Ovechkin officially beat out the Laich/Green, Petey/Royzie and Burish/Sharp bromances in the NHL. (And apparently Alex lifted Semin up the right way, using his knees instead of his back. What a good boy!)
Just when I’m ready to give up on them for good, they beat the best team in the NHL. No time to talk about how much I love them now, because I have to help with the zucchini casserole, but they are spectacular. Even when they only get two shots on goal in the third, they still manage to win. Even when they CAN’T CLEAR THE FREAKING PUCK, they still beat the terrifying Bruins. Well done, boys. Well done. You take those warm fuzzies. They were hard-earned.
I encourage you all to take a look at the standings. After being embarrassed by the Panthers today (HA! The Panthers….that’s fantastic), the Penguins have dropped to ninth place and the Sabres have moved up to seventh. I’m working on the fact that if the playoffs started today, the Capitals would be playing the Sabres. I’m kind of hoping that’s not how it turns out this spring.
Tough for the Bulls. I really wanted them to win, but it was their first bowl game. Next year, Bulls, next year!
P.S. I’m not at ALL surprised by the All Star Game lineups. I’m slightly disappointed that Alex was bumped from the starting lineup because of a less-talented Montreal forward and Sidbits and Evgeni, but I’m dealing with it. Alex is the kind of guy that he’ll just be glad to be at the All Star Game. He’s just the nice a person.
- Okie dokie, Sabres. Here’s the deal: You’re about to play Boston, the best team in the league. Yes. I know. It’s absolutely terrifying (as Joe would say, “Okay people, take a deep breath. [takes deep breath] It’s the Bruins.”), but I have faith in you. I really do. Yes, the Leafs team you beat isn’t exactly occupying the number two seed right now, but you got a win to start off 2009 and that’s what counts. If you beat Boston, you might even be on track for getting three wins in a row! (We at TFF Headquarters have decided that if the Sabres lose to the Senators on Tuesday, we will stop watching. Because the Senators are outrageously bad. They have fallen apart, and if the Sabres can’t beat them then something is wrong) And you know what the best part is, Sabres? If you beat Boston today, you leap over the Penguins in the standings. Yes, the Penguins. As in Sidney and Evgeni’s team (although I saw a picture on Facebook of Evgeni in a Red Wings hat, so I’m wondering if he’ll be the next Pen to jump ship for the Wings?). Now, I realize that if for some reason the season was to end with the Penguins occupying a seed below eight, the league would probably make some rule that the playoffs are ACTUALLY supposed to be seeds one through seven and then the tenth seed, but still. Being ahead of them, at least for now, would be spectacular. Sabres, you have no idea how warm and fuzzy that would make me. Warm fuzzies to you, boys, if you beat the Bruins today!
- Apparently Pie is okay. Buffalo, you can breathe a collective sigh of relief.
- My poor Nathan got sent back to Portland! Poor, sweet little munchkin.
- UB’s on an hour before the Sabres. Just for the record, we could have gone to the game. I wanted to go, but my mother decided that going without my dad wouldn’t be nice. Hmph. You know, if we had actually gone to the game, I wouldn’t have had to worry about which game to watch. Now we’re going to have to flip back and forth.
- If we had gone to the game, I would have been able to buy that bitching hat from Alex’s clothing line. Just sayin’.
- I can’t watch the Capitals tonight either because we’re having our neighbors over, but I may or may not put on my jersey just to watch the puck drop. I know it’s just the Rangers, but they’ll be out for blood and my boys need all the help they can get!
#50: It’s Cari’s story I linked you to in yesterday’s post. I just think it’s so incredibly cool of Alex to do that. It’s really thoughtful of him to give something like to a stranger.
#51: This video.
TK got called up!! Is he going to make it in time for tonight’s game? How awesome would it be if he got to make his debut in Buffalo!!
But if Tim is coming up, who’s getting scratched? Normally I would call for Afinogenov, but now that he’s on pace for approximately five goals, Lindy’s not going to want to sit that offensive power.
This doesn’t mean Tvan’s sitting, does it? Good grief. The Sabres are kind of screwed without him, even when he’s just skating on one leg. (Dear Thomas, GET WELL REALLY SOON. With Love, Frostee) Just remember, fans of Buffalo. It is not the player who fired the shot’s fault. Thomas is the one that decided to block that shot. He didn’t have to, but he did. So just remember that if you ever see the one who took the shot and you happen to have a heavy object in your hand.
In other, non-hockey news, apparently Mr. Douche Tom Brady finally proposed to Giselle. I think everyone in Buffalo should chip in and get them a really nice present.
I’ll be honest with you, Dear Readers. I was planning on studying more for my test and watching the Capitals/Maple Leafs game tonight. I wasn’t even going to watch the Sabres. I’m already stressed enough, I didn’t need the Sabres freaking me out more. Then two things happened.
First, the NHL Center Ice schedule did not have the Capitals, which pissed me off. The Capitals are total badasses, and, um, HELLO, Alex Ovechkin.
Second, I received a Breaking News text message from the Sabres. It basically said this.
Come on, Sabres! If I am going to risk not beating the new kid (who is alarmingly unassuming yet incredibly intelligent) on the test this week, you had better give an outrageously incredible performance. If I can’t flip to the Capitals game as soon as you start sucking, you better blow the Bolts out of the water.
Yes, Nathan. I was jumping for joy too.
P.S. Congratulations, Bulls! That was an awesome game last night. You guys definitely deserved that win.
PAUL GAUSTAD, ILY!!!
Paul Gaustad’s grandfather, you are hilarious and adorable and an awesome grandfather.
Referees, I hope you burn in hell.
Sidney Crosby, I would like you to stick that in your juicebox and suck it.
Ryan Miller, you are an awesome boyfriend and I love you.
Evgeni Malkin, just like my Search Engine Terms say, you are a retard.
Craig Rivet, in the first period when Talbot hit you and you went to the bench, we all kind of thought it looked like you were masturbating. I’m really sorry, but it’s true.
Bulls, I’m mad at you for making me sit out in the freezing cold for three quarters and then starting to score right after I leave and then losing.
Charles Dickens, I’m mad at you for writing Great Expectations.
Drew Stafford, I still think you’re kind of scary.
Max, someone must have told you this is a contract year.
Dear Readers, Alex Ovechkin has ONCE AGAIN proven his UNDYING LOVE for me by scoring his goal WHILE I WAS WATCHING. And while his interview is adorable when he explains how important it was to get Jokey Jose the shutout (I didn’t even know he did shutouts. He doesn’t really seem like the type), I’m mad that he has his freaking under-armor on.
Pkaleta, my parents made a mean comment about how it actually makes sense that I would find you attractive since I do, after all, “have a thing for Ovechkin,” but I want you to know that that comment, combined with your new reputation, does not make me love you any less.
Thomas Vanek, you need to start scoring again.
Buffalo Sabres, I love you all very, very much.
I ate my body weight in sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes last night, and then I added two huge pieces of turkey, some stuffing, coleslaw, a slice of pumpkin role, and a bite of a fantastic apple pie. Then I played an intense game of Balderdash (Much like the Buffalo Sabres, I started out hot then fell in a rut, but still managed to finish in second. Hopefully the Sabres will be able to make a comeback too, and won’t end up like my brother, who got two points all night). After that, I spent about an hour complaining about how full I was and how I was never going to eat again, but now I’m kind of hungry. Is it time for the turkey sandwiches yet?
I don’t really want to bring the mood down, because I actually am excited for the Bulls game today, but I could be in D.C. getting ready to go to the Caps game. Just thought I’d mention that.
While Patty’s house sounds like the most fun place to be on Thanksgiving (doesn’t he seem like a fun guy to just watch hockey with?), I would probally choose Jaro’s just so I could hear him talk. Can’t you imagine him discussing his concern over drying the turkey out in that voice? I would probably die.
If I don’t talk to you guys before tonight, go Sabres! I’m so glad TV will be playing. I was very worried.
P.S. Whoever found this blog searching “evgeni malkin retard” is my hero.