Scene: Frostee and Corinne are sitting in Frostee’s kitchen, chatting. Frostee was just telling Corinne how Alex had been a BAMF in the game that afternoon, scoring two goals in the third to retake the scoring league and lead the Capitals past the Red Wings. She brought up All Star Weekend.
Frostee: Seriously, though, it was an Ovechkin Fan’s weekend. It was great. So many amazing interviews. I was in heaven.
Corinne: He’s hilarious. I love Alex.
Frostee: And at the practice Saturday morning? Amazing. He and Kovalchuk were dancing and laughing and they were all being so funny. At one point he was taking a shot on Thomas and totally wiped out and just lay on the ice for a minute. Then when the “Why you quit?” guy was interviewing him Alex goes, “Yeah, someone up there shot me.”
Corinne: That’s terrible! He shouldn’t joke like that! What if someone tries to assassinate him like John Lennon? [Before hockey, she and I had discussed The Beatles.]
Frostee: Corinne. You know if someone tried to kill him the Russian Mafia would be all over that. The Olympics are next year.
Corinne: Afinogenov! Max! That’s why he’s here! He’s a spy, isn’t he? He’s here so that if someone tries to kill one of the Russian players he can take them out! Max sucks at playing. He had to be here for another reason.
Frostee: *falls off chair laughing*
- Last night I went to see Doubt. I recommend it. It was incredible. The ending was really great too. Everyone in the theatre just kind of stared.
- Plans changed, and I’ll be able to watch the Caps take on the Wings! Woo! But, um, Alex? Jeff Carter scored twice last night. Yeah. We’re going to have to do something about that this afternoon.
- The Pens coughed up a two goal lead and lost to the Devils in overtime. I may or may not have laughed.
- I’m kind of sick and tired of all this vampire obsession that is sweeping the nation, so when Twihard recommended I read Vampire Academy I hesitated. I ended up borrowing her copy to read yesterday when she told me that there’s an uber-sexy character who is 24, HOT, and Russian. After reading the book, I can still say that this vampire shit is ridiculous and boy wizards will always be cooler, but, er, I really want to do this Dimitri character. Good LORD. He. Is. Amazing. Best line in the book was when the heroine, who of course fell for him, goes, “…because when I imagined someone whispering dirty things in my ear, that person had a Russian accent.”
- Tonight the Sabres play the Coyotes. The Coyotes are another one of those teams that are supposed to be bad but are actually good now. Florida is only ONE POINT behind the Sabres so they desperately need these two points. Desperately.
- Pkaleta might play? What?!!? I thought he was a lost cause! Yay!! Patty has come back to us!
- Ryan Miller is starting AGAIN and then Lala is taking the net Monday. Yikes. Lindy has officially lost faith in the poor backup.
- Yesterday the school librarian called me to tell me that APPARENTLY I volunteered to bring in brownies for the bake sale on Monday. I have absolutely no recollection of this, and therefore the library will have to make do with brownies from a mix instead of brownies from scratch.
- I haven’t decided which game I’ll watch tonight until the Sabres are on. Probably Penguins/Leafs, because that’ll be on NHL Network so it’ll be in HD and I’ll get to see what Don Cherry has to say. Woo for Saturday nights spent watching hockey!
All I can hear is the snow falling outside. (For crying out loud, snow, GIVE IT A REST.) I haven’t turned on my iTunes yet because running two applications at once usually makes the poor old laptop stop working, and the dog is nowhere to be seen. The Sabres didn’t play last night, and they don’t play tonight. That’s good, because they need the time to rest, but I kind of like watching them play when I don’t have school things to worry about. The Caps haven’t played since Tuesday, but I just found out that the game tomorrow is at 12:30. What a lame time for a Saturday game against the Red Wings. Capitals, I hope you know I’m very disappointed in you for choosing such a stupid time. You should have realized that I would be at the outlets and therefore be unable to watch people like Saturday night games because they can go out and have a nice dinner before heading over to Verzion Center. Sometimes, if they’re lucky, a pretty Sabres fan will be there to incite the masses. (Did I ever tell you that story? I was in D.C. on the school trip last March and it was Saturday night and the Caps were playing the Leafs and everyone was pouring into the arena in their jerseys and I shouted, “LET’S GO CAPS!” and everyone else started whooping and cheering and carrying on. It. Was. Hilarious.) Oh well, Caps fans. No riot for you.
The Panthers won last night, so, you know, yuck. If the Sabres don’t win tomorrow night we will be in serious trouble. It’s not too late, boys, you can still get four more points! Six of eight points isn’t bad at all!
Let’s not talk about last night’s Sabres game. It won’t do us any good. Sure, we could debate Cari’s theory that the NHL should copy AT&T and allow rollover goals, but that will just make us remember how craptastically bad the Sabres looked last night (um, Chris Butler? You’re fired). I have a few other discussion points we could try:
- Woo! Exams OVER!!! Yay!!!!!!! Done studying!!!!!!! Weeeee!!!!!!!
- Oh shit. Does Kashmir have petroleum? Does France have nuclear weapons?!
- There are those cookies I made (yes, Alex, the ones that were SUPPOSED to be for you). And then there’s all that cookie dough I ate…how is it that I can eat half the dough and still get a ton of huge cookies that resemble the matzoh balls the time we let my seven year-old cousin make them? They all have six-inch diameters and look like they’ve been sent from Outer Space to spy on us.
- Henrik Zetterberg signed some crazy long-ass contract and will now be in Detroit until Armageddon. Jake! I wanted you to play for the Sabres!!!
- I have this weird mental condition where I just assume Darcy Regier will sign all the players I want to come play for us. (See: Zetterberg, Henrik and Ovechkin, Alex)
- Why do I get hit eight kajillion times a day by people searching “vincent lecavalier”? Do I ever even talk about him?
- How come Patrick Lalime doesn’t play anymore? I get that he’s not very good and Lindy doesn’t trust him, but part of why he’s unreliable is because he never gets to play. Last night’s game was a lost cause. They should have put him in.
- Apparently players text each other before games to set up fights. I have two things to say about that: 1. That’s kind of cute but completley stupid. What happened to fights that just happen in the heat of the moment? and 2. That must be why Petey doesn’t fight anymore. His texting thumb was bit! (He also might not fight because he doesn’t play anymore, but let’s just leave that alone.)
- I’m pretty sure I’m going to the Pirates game on February 10. I’m kind of excited for this.
- Okay, I know I said we shouldn’t talk about the Sabres, but you know what? THE SABRES WERE REALLY BAD LAST NIGHT. EW. There are LOTS of players who should be blamed, but I’m singling out Chris Butler merely because I want to. Dude, you SUCKED last night. Good Lord. Pull yourself together, man.
- This is actually from two nights ago, but Drew Stafford and the pigeon? Adorable.
Last night’s Sabres game was AWESOME. I can’t even come up with enough adjectives to describe how much fun I had watching it. The Sabres scored TEN GOALS, and it wasn’t even against a bottom-feeder like Atlanta. Staffy with the tour du chapeau (ever since I watched the French feed of a Montreal game back in December, I have called hat tricks by their french name because it’s funny), Royzie and TV with three point nights, Timmy with two goals, Patches with a goal (!), Spacek with a goal, Hecht with a goal. (And did everyone notice how after Hecht scored last night, they showed Roy sitting on the bench? My theory is that they have absolutely no idea who Hecht is and just showed a random Sabre.) The commentators were all, “We love Buffalo!” the whole night, which was quite nice. I was amused by how even when the score was 6-1 Sabres, they still thought the Oilers could make a comeback. That was cute.
The Sabres game last night was definitely one of my favorite of the season, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to forgive the hockey gods and forget what happened. You see, as the Sabres game didn’t start until nine, I decided to tune into another game at seven. The Caps/Bruins game last night looked to be a pretty good one, so I thought I’d check in and see what happened. Greenie started the scoring, both teams looked good, it was a fun time. Then, in the second period, Alex came roaring down the wing with Chara right behind him. As Chara could think of nothing else to do to prevent Alex from scoring, he hooked him. Alex then lost his balance and FLEW SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE BOARDS. HE THEN STAYED ON HIS BACK WITH HIS EYES CLOSED FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. Dear Readers, saying I freaked out would be a complete understatement. See, as a hockey fan I realize that getting hurt is part of the job. Injuries to the Sabres may or may not have cost them a Stanley Cup a few years ago, and right now defensemen are dropping like flies. Still, I expect injuries. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry when they happen, because last week when Teppo was lying face-first on the ice I had a panic attack, but it’s not like I’m taken completely by surprise. Um, Tim Connolly plays on my favorite team. I’m used to injuries. See, the thing is, Alex doesn’t do injuries. There’s a long list of games where he got hurt and bounced right back up and kept playing. Seeing him lie on the ice with his eyes closed was really scary. Then, when he slammed both of his gloves on the ground and threw away his helmet – with his left hand! – I got really worried. I was all set to change the pink sheets on my bed to a more masculine, er, purple so that I could tuck him in and give him the ice pack I used after my Gardasil shots and make him cookies and let him flip through old Seventeen magazines and nurse him back to health when he came skating back out in the third period. Alex, if you were fine, then WHY DID YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?!?! Good grief.
And in the post-game interview, Alex claims that he forgives Chara. They showed him talking to Chara in the third and Alex just shrugged, but I couldn’t figure out if he was saying, “Hey, that’s hockey, no hard feelings,” or “Yeah, I called the Russian Mafia, but they haven’t called me back yet. I’d lock your door tonight if I was you.”
The hockey gods realized how insanely furious at them I was, so they sent me a good Sabres game. I haven’t forgiven them, but at least the Sabres got two important points and an even more important confidence boost. These Western Conference road trips usually give me nightmares, but the Sabres look like they might actually do good this time around. Woo, Sabres! Just keep this positive mindset going into tonight’s game, and you’ll be fine.
What’s that? Zetterberg signed a 12-year contract? Worth $72 million? Yikes.
Hey there! I hope you enjoyed your All Star break. It must have been nice to have a few days off. You could all rest and spend time with your families and get ready for the road trip this week.
At first, I was kind of pissed that MSG wouldn’t be broadcasting the games. I realize that RJ wouldn’t be there to do play-by-play, but I’d rather watch with the other teams’ announcers or even Kevin than not being able to watch at all. You can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when they decided to televise these games. Woo!
You’ve also probably heard me complaining about midterms this week. Yes, I know, it’s been very stressful. That’s why I’m writing this letter. I have a little favor to ask. Since both of my exams aren’t until the afternoon (HOW did I end up that lucky?), I’ll be able to watch you and not worry about being cranky and sleep-deprived the next day. I do, however, need you all to play very well and win. If I’m going to have to sit through exams after watching you play, you guys better come away with two points each time. I will not watch you suck out loud and then skip off to the gym with my #2 pencils. It’s not going to happen, Sabres. This is a warning. You better be AWESOME, and not just for me! Before you start saying how selfish I am, I want to remind you how tight the playoff race is in the Eastern Conference. These are critical points that you need to cement your position in the top eight. You can’t just flush these points down the drain like you usually do in these Western Conference games.
Got it? Wonderful! Now I hope you all enjoy your naps and your pre-game meals. I’ll see you tonight!
- The final score last night. 12-11? For reals? Yikes. We actually missed the first half of the third period, because, hello!, the SAG Awards were on. I went 10-for-10. During the Golden Globes, I predicted the correct winner for every single category. It’s crazy, man. But, uh, anyways, back to the All Star Game. Heh. I don’t know why I even watch it. Those poor goalies don’t try to stop the puck half the time. It’s all ridiculous and high-scoring. I love high-scoring games, but not when the defense is non-existent. I would rather see the Sabres score ten goals in one game while the opposing team’s defensemen scramble around trying to look like they’re actually doing something.
- Gary Bettman. Did everyone catch right near the end when they showed him coming down to ice level? Because when he stood up on his tip-toes because he couldn’t see around the people on to the ice, it might have been the funniest moment all night.
- Props to the Montreal fans for booing him, by the way.
- I can’t believe they actually went to a shootout last night. I figured one of the goalies would just let a puck in right at the end.
- I also can’t believe that Alex scored in the shootout. I love the guy, and I certainly see him play a lot, but that was the honest to goodness first time I ever saw him score in a shootout. I always wondered what it would look like…
- Not really funny or ridiculous, but I thought Kovalev as MVP was a good decision. He got two goals, scored in the shootout, was the captain, and is a Montreal player. The fans would have gone absolutely bonkers if a Montreal player hadn’t been named MVP, but I had no problems with Kovalev being chosen.
- Evgeni Malkin’s English.
- Remember back over the summer when I couldn’t decide if I loved Malkin or not, and then I was all, “Oh HELL no” after finding out he and Alex were ex-besties? Well, I’m back to a state of confusion. They were all cuddly and “I love you” over the weekend (dinner dates? Geno being the first one to congratulate Alex after the shootout? the Breakaway Challenge?), but my friend Kristen thinks they’re going to go back to hating each other. I hope they do, because then I would just be able to hate Malkin in a show of solidarity. I mean, Malkin’s a total man-skank and his teeth are screwy and he’s beating everyone in the points race and he plays for the Penguins, but at the same time he’s kind of adorable. You just want to make him cookies and teach him proper English.
- A penalty was actually called. I bet the referee forgot it was an All Star Game.
- How did no one score on that power play? I thought these were the best of the best.
- It’s really cute how my Latin teacher thinks we’ll actually read 80 pages in our review book this week. We’ve already learned everything covered in it, according to her.
- I can not believe Carey Price actually called his mom. That made my night.
- I’m pretty sure Brian Engblom broke the record for saying a player has smooth hands the most times in one game.
- One of my teachers in school. We kind of hate this teacher because he’s absolutely terrible, has no idea what he’s talking about, and is a total asshole on top of it all. One of my friends thinks he got the honors position because we’re the gifted kids and can figure it out on our own. Even the parents think he’s a jerk. He’s also a total jock, so instead of teaching he likes to spend his time talking with the jocks in the class. Apparently, if we talk amongst ourselves while he’s talking to kids, we’re “rude.” It’s really funny. He tells all the other teachers in the school how rude we are, writes it on the instruction sheets for the subs (last month a sub actually told us at the beginning of class, “Yes, your teacher tells me you are the rudest class he has ever taught.”), and even tells his other class at our level how rude we are. He decided that the fact that he let us pick our own seats was the reason we were so rude, so he decided to put us in alphabetical order today. Only problem is, the chatty kids are all next to each other when he does that. Jill and Maggie are next to each other in one row, Justine is in front of me and Ally’s to the side of us in the other, Gena and Leah are both next to the window. He realized this and then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to separate us all so that we couldn’t talk. It was kind of one of those, “you had to be there” moments, but if you had been there you would have been cracking up. Andrew and I were. It was so ridiculously funny. I can’t believe he actually did it. Now I’m right next to the door and get to leave the class first. It’s quite nice.
- This blog got hit about eight kazillion times yesterday, and approximately four kazillion of those hits were on my post from yesterday. Hmm. That’s kind of cool.
- The Savard-Ovechkin-Chara commercial. “This guy can’t beat me. This guy can’t beat me either.”
- I’m actually probably going to watch the West Coast games this week. It’s quite irresponsible of me, but then again, so is only studying for one of the exams I have. I haven’t seen the Sabres in ages, and I’m sort of starting to miss them.
- I still can’t stop thinking about Thomas Vanek’s hair. I think he let his son do it for him.
From the red carpet, which DID NOT disappoint:
Best interview of the year, right there:
Gary (That’s his name, right?): So, Alex, do you know what you’re going to do tonight?
Alex (Looking SPECTACULAR in his Dolce suit and red tie): Yeah. It’s gonna be funny.
Gary (Looking supremely confused): Uh-huh. Well, ladies and gentlemen, with Alex-
Alex: Funny. Fun. You’re gonna laugh.
Our kids will be so articulate. It’s ridiculous. I’m positively giddy with the thought of it.
- Reader Award to anyone who can find me a hockey player with an ugly kid. I am so in love with hockey players’ children, it’s not even funny. TimTom’s daughter, with her pink jacket and fur-trimmed hood, clutching his hand, positively killed me. Adorable.
- Thomas Vanek, what the FUCK did you do to your hair?
- Ryan Getzlaf was WORKING that tie.
- Henrik Lundqvist is so pretty.
- I have officially fallen in love with Carey Price. There is nothing that boy man could do to make me stop loving him. That suit? The tie/shirt combo? Saying he’s looking pretty good for a boy from the farm? LOVE!
- Poor Pkane appears to be suffering from a breakout. Aw. Pkane, might I suggest Biore?
- Speaking of Patty, are he and Jonathan Toews now interchangeable?
- Whoa. Jarome Iginla, where have you been all my life?
- Ditto for Dan Boyle.
- Zdeno Chara, what’s up with that scarf?
From the Superskillz:
Yeah. I know.
Just a warning, every single post on this blog might revolve around this picture from now on. I haven’t decided yet.
Um, does this picture (and the Twitter updates?) mean that Alex and Evgeni actually ARE friends again? Because screw pressure from the Russian media. You don’t do this unless the guy is your BFF.
- Dear Readers, I have documented before how the immortal words “Why you quit?” have had a serious impact on my life. I love Alex for saying them, and that quote is definitely in the top five of my favorite Alex quotes. Last night, as soon as my parents left and I decided I was due for a “study break,” I rushed over to the TV and rewound to see if they interviewed Alex earlier. The man – whose name I STILL can’t remember! – did in fact interview him, and the first thing he brought up was The Interview, in Dallas two years ago. Dear Readers, ALEX mentioned up how he had told the man he would talk to George about getting him a coaching job for the Caps, and the man reminisced about teaching Alex that coaches are fired and that they don’t quit. I…just…love him.
- Pkane was looking AWESOME, if I do say so myself. I wouldn’t mind seeing him get a little trim, though. And Man Whose Name I Can’t Remember, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Pkane and Mr. Toes Toews have beautiful faces.
- Oh Sid. You’re such a good person. You knew the minute you dropped out that you would still come up to Montreal, but that you didn’t want to steal any of the attention from the other players. He has to realize that merely by being there he’s stealing attention. He is, after all, Sidney Crosby. And you also bashed two of the best players in the NHL. It may have been inadvertent, but was I the only one who got the feeling that he was secretly thinking, “Ha, I am Sidney Crosby, the master of hockey, and I come to All Star games even when I’m hurt. Unlike those weak Red Wings”?
- Carey Price is hot. Like, really, really hot. Smokin’ hot. I knew there was a reason I picked him as my Playoffs Boyfriend in the second round last year. (Hey, I warned you I would get fangirl-y this weekend)
- Yeah. Sure. I refuse to believe that the biggest bitch fight since Serena and Blair, season one, is over. It would be just like the NHL/Russian newspapers to make it seem like their two Russian stars are once again BFFs. I, for one, think it’s much more interesting when they’re at each other’s throats.
- I really think it’s stupid that the NHL makes such a big deal about the All Star Game. In the long run, wouldn’t they rather have their star players healthy for the playoffs and the second half of the season? Yeesh. Don’t make them sit a game.
- From what they’ve shown on the NHL Network so far, it looks like Montreal did a great job getting ready for the weekend. All those interactive games are like the ones they have at the Hall of Fame in Toronto, and they’re a lot of fun. Props to the batshit crazy fans of Montreal for putting on a good party.
- I have a paper cut right on the top of my left pointer finger and it hurts to do EVERYTHING. Typing this right now is killing me. The sacrifices I make for you people…
- Studying? Is not fun. I would much rather watch Mamma Mia! six times and then watch the All Star coverage.
I love hockey for a lot of reasons. I love how in general, the athletes seem like better people than most other athletes in different sports. I love breathtaking saves and penalty kills and I get positively giddy when tic-tac-toe passing leads to a goal. Good clean hits are wonderful (when they don’t hurt my boys), and exciting games that have you on the edge of your seat are fantastic. The Sabres make a comeback? I’m in a chipper mood until the next game. They beat Atlanta 10-1? The next morning I proudly wear my Sabres t-shirt and coo to Little Ryan.
That being said, I feel as though I should tell you that my reasons for not completely loathing the All Star Weekend are purely fangirl-driven. I love the cuddly interviews and the stupid skills events and the videos of muscular men in under armor singing happy birthday and, of course, the red carpet. (Question: Is there anything in the whole wide world funnier than hockey players in suits on a red carpet? Answer: No.) The actual game is the stupidest thing ever. I love high-scoring games, but not when the players aren’t even trying to be defensive. Hasn’t it been like twenty years since someone took a penalty at an All Star game? The hockey is pointless. Some people argue that it only makes the players susceptible to injuries, but I don’t even agree with that. The chances of someone getting hurt in a game like that are slim.
So this weekend, when I’m not frantically studying, I’ll be watching the All Star coverage. I will act like a total puckbunny. I will talk about how the players dress and how they look and what they talk about in the interviews and the introductions (“Hi, I’m Pete Kane…”), but I’m not going to sit around analyzing the actual hockey that is played. It’s cute and cuddly, but absolutely meaningless in the grand scheme of things.
Question #2: How much did I love getting a Twitter update during the review saying that Alex and Feds went on a man-cation to Miami? Answer #2: A lot.