THEY TRADED CHRIS CLARK. THEY TRADED THEIR CAPTAIN. WHAT TEAM THAT IS CURRENTLY SITTING IN FIRST PLACE IN THEIR CONFERENCE TRADES THE CAPTAIN?!?!
THIS IS SO AWFUL.
I don’t understand it. I really don’t. I could deal with Jurcina getting traded; I always kind of liked him but business is business and sometimes players have to be moved. But to move CHRIS CLARK?! And he didn’t even realize he was about to be traded? That just seems so…harsh. And in exchange for the two of them, they get the guy who helped lead to Alex’s injury. Excellent job, GMGM. Top notch. This better not mess up the dressing room chemistry.
I was going to write a nice post about how the comeback win for the Sabres was so important after Saturday night and they’re finally playing well in front of Lala and Timmy’s naked chest makes me want to vomit, but I’m too angry.
Right after I heard he got traded I put on my Clark shirt and I’m not taking it off.
George better have something HUGE up his sleeve. I’m not sure if even a Nicki extension could cheer me up right now. What if I never get to see him play ever again? That would be awful!
I’ll never understand why a team would trade their captain. And now who’s going to be the Capitals captain? Knuble already seems like a real leader but maybe they’ll want to give it to someone who’s been on the team longer? I think it’ll come down to Alex and Brooksie. Alex because he’s well, Alex, and Brooks because all I hear about him is that he’s a great leader already and once Christopher’s time was done he was surely in line for the C and I never even listened because I didn’t think they would TRADE THE CAPTAIN. But I could see Brooks getting it. And he’s been in a bit of a slump and he seems like he’s really hard on himself. And plus, the cougars of Washington might kill the Caps management if he didn’t get the captaincy.
I’m so mad. I think I’m just going to sit here and stew a while longer. And I plan on yelling a lot during the game tonight.
Stupid Capitals. Even the Sabres wouldn’t trade their captain.
Things that are good:
- Ryan Miller got a shutout! And not just a Ryan Miller Shutout, but a real one. Oh, Ryan. Your shutouts make me so happy. I may be freaked out about this spring when you’re so tired you can’t even get your skates on, but I have to admit that I’m completely in love with your badass play right now.
- Timmy K scoring! And Jochen scoring! And Henrik scoring! Look at all that scoring love right there!
- Beating the Leafs. Hahahahaha.
- Lars getting a three point night. Larsiepoo, I love you.
- Jose playing a solid game after having a lot of time off. Jose, I sincerely hope that you’ve been able to work through your personal issues. And I’m glad you’re playing well.
- The Thrashers winning. I love them.
Things that are bad:
- OH MY GOD ALEXANDER MOTHER EFFIN’ OVECHKIN WHY DO YOU INSIST ON HURTING ME LIKE THIS??? KNEE-ON-KNEE? REALLY? THAT WAS A DIRTY PLAY. THERE, I SAID IT. IT WAS DIRTY AND I’M MAD AT YOU AND IF YOUR ACL IS TORN I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN I WILL BE VERY SAD. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN BUFFALO IN A WEEK AND A HALF, MISTER. I LET IT SLIDE ONCE LAST YEAR BECAUSE YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS SICK AND I LET IT SLIDE IN THE PRESEASON BECAUSE IT WAS THE PRESEASON, BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS EVASIVE BEHAVIOR ANYMORE.
- Now that I’ve worn out my caps lock, let’s continue in a rational manner. Oh my good golly gosh, that was awful. I’ve never seen him in so much pain before ever. This is so bad. The Capitals are in deep shit without him. Team Russia needs him. I want to see him play live. Lars needs him. I can’t believe he would do something so dirty. Stupid, stupid Alexander.
I’m going to go hang out with Little Ryan, because he isn’t pissing me off right now. Looks like it’ll be time to get the bobblehead bandaids back out again.
Scene: Frostee is getting off the bus and walking in the front door. She is in a good mood, because it was made official that Buffalo will host the 2011 World Junior Championships. She sent a text message to her father to remind him that tickets to a few of the games would be nice. [and does anybody know if they do host families, as he had suggested? Because, you know, I’d totally be up for hosting some studly young hockey player and showing him around the ‘hood Orchard Park.] Frostee and her mother are sitting at the kitchen table talking about their days when Frostee’s cell phone goes off.
Frostee: Hmm, it appears as though I have a message. From Dad. (reads aloud) “Did you hear? Did mom tell you?” (narrows eyes) What were you supposed to tell me, Mom?
Frostee’s Mom: Oh, so your dad wants ME to have to tell you?
Frostee: (slowly) No…NO…NOO!!! THIS CAN NOT BE HAPPENING! HE HAS MISSED LIKE ONE FREAKING GAME IN HIS THREE YEARS IN THE NHL!! AND NOW HE’S HURT?!?!?!
Frostee’s Mom: No, he’s not hurt, his grandfather is sick and he had to fly back to Russia to be with him.
Frostee: (begins sobbing uncontrollably [um, I actually DID cry]) NO!! Alex!! Not my baby!! And his grandfather?!?! He’s sick!!! How the HELL did this happen to me?!?! I’m such a good kid!! I always do my homework and I’m polite to all my teachers and I’m never bad! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME.
Frostee’s Mom: Well, the game is on Saturday, and that’s…well…
Frostee: SIX FREAKING DAYS, MOTHER. IN SIX FREAKING DAYS I AM SUPPOSED TO BE STANDING NEXT TO THE GLASS SO THAT I MAY LOOK UPON MY FUTURE HUSBAND. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED!!!
Frostee’s Mom: Well, you know, anything can happen. And there’s still a remote chance he’ll be able to play.
Frostee: My life is RUINED!!! RUINED, I TELL YOU!!! (frantically texting her dad) “Tell whoever has the December Caps tickets that if they value their life at all, they will give them to us.” (reading reply aloud) “Too late for that.”
Frostee’s Mom: At least now you won’t have to make a poster!!
Frostee: *death glare*
Crunchy: Whoa, she can do that almost as well as I can!
Frostee’s Mom: Well, you could always let your brother go to this one-
Frostee: NO!! I AM GOING TO THIS FREAKING GAME. (cries and moans for her beloved Alex and his beloved grandfather)
Fuck you, Hockey Gods. I have no idea why you would do this to me.