You know what I just did? Since I wasn’t ready to start working on my research paper yet?
I joined the Caps Kids Club (where the kids get in the game!!).
Yeah. I get it. It’s disgusting.
But you know what? It was only $15, I get a Slapshot bobblehead (which means now all I need for a starting lineup plus a mascot is a center and two defensemen), a hat, a couple temporary tattoos, and I think even a backpack. Money well spent.
The Sabres need to get a kids club going. I would do many immoral things for a chance to get my hands on a Sabretooth bobblehead.
Things that are good:
- Ryan Miller got a shutout! And not just a Ryan Miller Shutout, but a real one. Oh, Ryan. Your shutouts make me so happy. I may be freaked out about this spring when you’re so tired you can’t even get your skates on, but I have to admit that I’m completely in love with your badass play right now.
- Timmy K scoring! And Jochen scoring! And Henrik scoring! Look at all that scoring love right there!
- Beating the Leafs. Hahahahaha.
- Lars getting a three point night. Larsiepoo, I love you.
- Jose playing a solid game after having a lot of time off. Jose, I sincerely hope that you’ve been able to work through your personal issues. And I’m glad you’re playing well.
- The Thrashers winning. I love them.
Things that are bad:
- OH MY GOD ALEXANDER MOTHER EFFIN’ OVECHKIN WHY DO YOU INSIST ON HURTING ME LIKE THIS??? KNEE-ON-KNEE? REALLY? THAT WAS A DIRTY PLAY. THERE, I SAID IT. IT WAS DIRTY AND I’M MAD AT YOU AND IF YOUR ACL IS TORN I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN I WILL BE VERY SAD. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN BUFFALO IN A WEEK AND A HALF, MISTER. I LET IT SLIDE ONCE LAST YEAR BECAUSE YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS SICK AND I LET IT SLIDE IN THE PRESEASON BECAUSE IT WAS THE PRESEASON, BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS EVASIVE BEHAVIOR ANYMORE.
- Now that I’ve worn out my caps lock, let’s continue in a rational manner. Oh my good golly gosh, that was awful. I’ve never seen him in so much pain before ever. This is so bad. The Capitals are in deep shit without him. Team Russia needs him. I want to see him play live. Lars needs him. I can’t believe he would do something so dirty. Stupid, stupid Alexander.
I’m going to go hang out with Little Ryan, because he isn’t pissing me off right now. Looks like it’ll be time to get the bobblehead bandaids back out again.
Pommer’s baby’s name is Jayden John. The only way this could be cuter is if little Jayden popped out wearing a beanie with a propeller on the top holding a lollipop.
The Sabres better kick some Islander butt tomorrow night, because while I saw nothing of the last time the two teams played each other, it sounds like it wasn’t pretty.
Usually I don’t mind posting on my phone, but tonight the lack of bullets bothers me. Stupid computer hogs in my family.
It sounds as though the Sabres are recovering from their bout with the swine. That’s always a good thing.
Alex is still hurt and I am still greatly distressed about this. Were they serious when they said two weeks? TWO WEEKS??! Holy hockey gods, that is INSANELY LONG.
His interview from today warmed my heart.
Here’s Mini Alex. He also suffered an upper body injury. (Um, the picture is at the bottom of the post. Sorry. That would be my phone’s fault.)
I’m scared for the Caps to play the Devils tomorrow. It’s going to be a bloodbath.
I’m also scared that Saturday night was the start of a downward spiral. When did the Sabres fall apart last year? Was it because of the Islanders??
Anyone who has spent any amount of time around this blog knows I have a serious fetish for bobbleheads. I wish I didn’t, but it’s an addiction I just can’t seem to kick.
Now Clare, the lovely writer over at All Hawks Hockey, recently took a trip to Chicago. She knows how I feel about bobbleheads, and as the game she was attending was Pkane Bobblehead Night, she brought me back my own beloved little bobblehead.
Dear Readers, I introduce you to Petit Pat:
Now all I need is a center and two defensemen and I’ve got a starting lineup!
Petit Pat gets along very nicely with the other bobbleheads. He and Mini Alex were discussing sticks earlier, and he and Little Ryan talked about Buffalo.
His conversation with Little Ryan, however, was cut short. You may recall how last year after coughing up a two goal lead to the Canadiens and then losing in overtime near the end of the season, Little Ryan spent the night on the deck. Well, he didn’t spend last night on the deck, but after that game against New Jersey, he did spend the night somewhere “more fitting for his play.”
That’s Little Ryan’s head, and that’s my garbage can.
As I watched last night’s game with Clare I can’t really comment on it because I paid it very little attention. It seemed like every time I looked up, New Jersey was scoring or Regular Ryan was attempting to beat up Zach Parise but somehow ended up locked in a fight the Caveman instead. A playoff team would have been able to take advantage of the fact that they had a two man advantage at the end of the game and the fact that New York had lost. Whatever, Sabres. Good luck against Detroit tomorrow.
Atlanta vs. Washington, 3 p.m. I have no faith in Washington winning against these crazy Thrashers, but if Alex could have a four-point afternoon to tie Malkin for the league lead, that would be nice.
My grandmother is 86. We all love her dearly, and my cousin and I marvel at how even though she forgets what we ate not five minutes ago at dinner, she can remember every single detail about a boy. (Example: at church on Christmas Eve this year, one of my closest guy friends came in with his family. I’ve known him since we were three. We waved at each other. Since Grandma is hard of hearing, she asked very loudly, “Oh there’s Andrew! So do you still like him?” I told her that I hadn’t liked him as more than a friend since I was seven.)
Grandma has been a Bills fan forever, and one of my wishes is that she could see them win the Super Bowl. I realize that this is somewhat unlikely. Since she does care about the team, however, I asked her Saturday night what she thought of this whole, “Terrell Owens signing with Buffalo” thing. This is what she said:
That Terrel Owens. Isn’t he very naughty?
Yes Grandma. He certainly does have the reputation of a naughty boy.
Tonight’s game is on Versus. I hate the Versus broadcasts when Joe’s not doing them, but since it’s the only time I get to see the Sabres in HD I can’t complain too much. I’m rather intrigued by what they’ll do during tonight’s broadcast. As Ryan Miller isn’t playing, what will they talk about? Will they seriously keep mentioning that he went to Michigan State and won the Hobey Baker?
Lala’s starting tonight last I checked, further proving that Lindy thoroughly enjoys riding goaltenders. WHEN are we going to get to see my Trendy Euro Sabre in action?!?!
Guy Carbonneau got fired. I was really surprised. I never had any issues with Guy and I never considered him to be one of the coaches in danger of losing his job.
Just in case anyone was wondering, while Little Ryan feels terrible that Regular Ryan got hurt, there’s also a tiny part of him that’s so glad the Sabres are struggling while he’s out of the lineup. Little Ryan remembers all too well what happened last March when the Sabres were struggling and Regular Ryan was in net. He still has nightmares about it, the poor thing.
Since the LAST thing I want to do right now is edit a paper or study, I thought I’d let you all in on a little secret.
Today, March 1, 2009, is the one-year anniversary of the day I purchased Mini Alex. (I technically bought him on February 29, but, whatever. It’s been a whole, wonderful year either way.)
Isn’t amazing how the time flies? It seems like just yesterday I hauled my sleep-deprived, cranky body up from the table where we had been sucking down smoothies in a D.C. mall so I could look for some sort of Alex memorabilia in the sports shop. Mini Alex was the very last one they had in stock and the coupon booklet the tour company had given us entitled me to a free t-shirt if I spent more than $20 dollars on something. Now, a whole year later, Mini Alex spends his days on my bookshelf and the t-shirt I got is one of my favorites.
Here’s the thing, Dear Readers. A year ago, I was just starting to develop feelings for Regular Alex. I was starting to realize that the Sabres’ season was going down the shitter and that all the fans who hated him only hated him because he was good. I started watching him and realized how amazing he actually is at hockey, and I started realizing that these Capitals were quite enjoyable to watch. At least THEY knew how to win. I bought Mini Alex as a joke at first, because who doesn’t want the bobblehead of a player on a team they only semi-care about? But then I fell more in love with the Capitals and more in love with Regular Alex…and now I’m totally obsessed. A love for a player or a team can develop in the most random ways. Loving the Sabres is a genetic thing for me. Loving the Capitals is something that came about because of one little bobblehead.
Dear Ryan Miller’s Ankle,
Dear Buffalo Sabres,
As you know, tomorrow is my birthday (checks should be made out to Frostee, gift cards should be to either Forever 21 or the iTunes Store, and cold hard cash is always appreciated). It also happens to be the night you play the Anaheim Ducks. I am trying to take a positive attitude about this whole thing, but I’ll be honest. It’s not easy.
First there’s the matter of this whole Miller-having-a-high-ankle-sprain thing. Being raised by hockey fans, there were two things I have been taught my entire life. The first is that the Philadelphia Flyers are bad and should be openly loathed (hey, my dad grew up going to Rangers and Islanders games). The second is that high ankle sprains are probably one of the worst injuries hockey players could get. Groin injuries are also pretty bad. See, Miller is most likely out until the end of the season unless the hockey gods do us a solid and throw a miracle our way. Patrick Lalime is now your starting goaltender and you called up Jhonas Enroth today. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and there are two possible outcomes from this scenario:
1) You, the Buffalo Sabres, band together in an incredible show of team unity and play in front of Patty as you have never played before, guiding yourselves into the playoffs.
2) You completely implode and get an early summer for the second year in a row.
I’m trying to be optimistic about all this, Sabres, I really am. It’s just that the way you depend on Ryan Miller to always save your collective asses and the way you suck in front of Lala has me worried. Who knows. Maybe we dedicated fans will be rewarded with Outcome #1. Maybe we won’t.
Then there’s the matter of your birthday greetings policy. As you know, people put birthday wishes up on the jumbotron at games. Yesterday when we were all preparing lunch, my dad came downstairs and told me that he’s really sorry, but HSBC has a policy that you have to call at least three days in advance to get a birthday greeting. As he called only two days in advance, there would be no special surprise for me. I actually can not tell you how devastated I was to hear this.
So, Sabres, I really need you to win this game tomorrow. I haven’t been to a good game since November 1. I may have had fun at the one at the end of December, but that’s because I liked the other team enough to overlook the fact that you apparently sucked balls. The one in the middle of December was pretty bad too. Then there’s also the matter of the critical two points you could pick up. And, of course, a win on my birthday would be simply marvelous.
- Tom Renney got fired. It was only a matter of time.
- The Alex Ovechkin/Sidney Crosby bitch fight made ESPN this morning. Personally, I thought the wave was amusing. And personally, I’m going to side with Alex and Bruce and the rest of the Washington Capitals. Sid kind of needed to shut his mouth yesterday. Personally, I prefer Alex’s playing style to Sidney’s because I love me a man who can score goals AND throw hits. A friend of mine is a Penguins/Crosby fan and even she admitted to me today that he’s kind of a wuss. Personally, I think it’s really funny how none of the Penguins want to stick up for Crosby. Personally, I’m just glad the Caps won.
- I told my mother that if she went with me to the game tomorrow night we would have to go down during the pre-game skate and shout inappropriate things at Ryan Getzlaf, but since it’s looking like Papa Frostee will be going with me instead, we’ll just heckle Chris Simpson.
- I won’t go into details, because the details are hilarious but time-consuming, but there’s this one kid who’s been in several of my classes for the past few years. He’s a total creeper in addition to being incredibly rude. He does this weird thing where he’ll get a crush on a girl and just follow her around for several days. He back-talks to teachers on a regular basis. He doesn’t like me or any of my friends, and just to prove how nice he is he told us that he would kill us in our sleep. This charming young man also happens to be a Red Wings fan, an insufferable one at that. He thoroughly enjoys trash-talking the Sabres, and when the Wings won the Cup last season we knew he’d be awful to be around. The next day he wore his signed Pavel Datsyuk jersey (I was so jealous) to school, and I informed him that while Candy Corn Head is a great player, I still prefer Mr. Henrik Zetterberg. The kid started screaming at me about how Henrik is probably the most overrated player in the league and he’s not any good and Pavel is easily the best player on the team and the best in the NHL. It was really funny. Now, last week I started getting Facebook Mobile texts informing me that he was trying to add me as a friend on Facebook. Since I, well, don’t like him, I rejected him. Four times. I finally just gave up and added him. Today he commented on a picture I have. Not only does this prove he was Facebook stalking me, but it also confuses me slightly. See, he commented on the picture of me with Mini Alex that I took last year during the playoffs. His comment read, “seriously ovechkin? jk jk jk he’s clearly the best russian player in the league.” Hmm. This is the same kid that informed me in no uncertain terms that Pavel Datsyuk is the best player in the world. I kind of want to shake him and shout, “But what about PAVEL?!??! You told me PAVEL! was the BEST PLAYER in the WORLD!”
- Speaking of Alex, I’m choosing to ignore that picture of him over at Puck Daddy.
- Alexander Semin is following me on Twitter. This is kind of awesome.
- TV is back skating with the team. Woo!
- COMPLETELY unrelated to hockey, but what do you think the chances are of my teacher figuring out I made up 100% of what I wrote about the North Korean economy? There was nothing on the websites she told us to use. I bullshit on projects regularly, but this is just plan making stuff up. Thank goodness we only have give the website.
If Miller’s out long-term, I seriously worry about the playoffs. I need Little Ryan to hold me close and promise me it will be all right.
Scott Gomez is dead to me.
Just for the record, I’m trying really, really hard to be upset about last night’s game. It’s kind of hard.
- The majority of the first period was rather boring. It was just back and forth, back and forth, with Frostee occasionally shrieking, “ALEX!! GOOOO!!!!! SKATE!!!!!”
- Andrej Sekera is officially in my mother’s doghouse. She was less than pleased with his performance last night and announced about halfway through the second period, “I don’t think Andrej Sekera is a very good hockey player.”
- I really don’t like Harry Neale, but I loved him last night for all his, “Alex Ovechkin is spectacular. Alex Ovechkin is the best player in the league.”
- Ha. I LOVE Crunchy’s skull caps.
- I am very worried for Thomas Vanek. I mean, first they had to DRAG HIM OFF THE ICE, and then all the sudden he was back and skating on one leg, and then he scored. Is he becoming the Tiger Woods of hockey?
- I was kind of looking forward to a Petey/Brashear fight, but I guess that’s not going to happen.
- My jersey is huge. I love it, but it is ridiculously large. I will be able to wear it for the rest of my life. (Dear Washington Caps, If you change the logo again, we’re going to have some serious problems. With Love, Frostee)
- I really enjoy hearing RJ get all pissy about the guys who do the sirens after goals are scored. It’s amusing to listen to him talk about how they need to learn to shut the things off when goals are disallowed.
- Am I the only one who found it incredibly ironic that Max finally scored a goal when he was jumping in the air to try and avoid getting hit? He’s such a bad player.
- Lala looked pretty darn good last night. It’s too bad the rest of the team sucks.
- When I went upstairs last night, I had to put Mini Alex and Little Ryan on opposite sides of the room. Little Ryan was giving Mini Alex the death glare and I got worried since they’re on a higher shelf and it’s a long fall to the ground.
- Um, my secret boyfriend is back in the lineup, and I’m assuming he’ll be playing on Tuesday. Uh-oh.
- Jason Pominville really needs to step it up. I feel kind of bad getting mad at him since he’s the nicest, most adorable guy on the team, but this is getting ridiculous. I really need him to just score a freaking goal.
- Ditto for Jochen. He needs to start winning face-offs.
- The Sabres’ plane is kind of awesome.
- That goal Mr. Ovechkin scored? Fabulous. He just skated right through Tallinder (or Lydman, as Harry Neale likes to call him) and then he fell over and still scored. Please, enjoy his post-game interview. I would kill for one of those hardhats. I would wear it everywhere.
- Islanders tonight. Pretty Ricky is back in the lineup and they finally won against the Leafs last night. The Sabres kind of need a win, since I have absolutely no faith in them winning on Tuesday.
This is the twelfth round of cuts in a series where I decide who will be Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend.
(1) Last night, my dad threatened Little Ryan, after we had decided that the Sabres have what it takes to be second in the division as long as you-know-who delivers. Little Ryan was warned that we’ve put him out on the deck in the snow before, and we aren’t afraid to do it again. Mini Alex just nodded in agreement.
(2) I decided that while Ovie-in-a-speedo is pretty nice, it will never, ever beat Darling Michael-in-a-speedo.
(4) I may or may not have included the above items for the sole reason of me being able to look at more pictures of Michael Phelps.
For today’s cuts, I’m going to do something different. As you may know, the Sabres have signed quite a few players to fill out the roster in Rohester Portland since I started this competition. Since they are technically members of the Buffalo Sabres, they are eligible to become Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend.
The following players have been cut from the competition to become Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend:
Sorry, guys. I don’t really go for your types.