I feel as though I have neglected them a bit over the past few days, so now I’m going to talk about the Sabres, and the Sabres only. (I thought it would be a good idea to get myself in a foul mood before going to watch “The Deer Hunter” for my school project.)
- Nobody told me last night that Pkaleta was going to miss at least three more weeks! Nooo!!! We were just saying during the second period last night that the Sabres could use Patty K back in the lineup. We need his spunk and hits.
We need PK back in the lineup and healthy. Stat.
- I just got around to watching the post-game interviews. Thomas Vanek’s was okay; he was definitely right when he said the Sabres play better when he plays better. It was nice seeing Ryan Miller talk about how he needs to step it up (’cause, um, Crunchy? You kind of sucked last night), and I enjoyed when he starting getting on the media’s case about quotes of his. Heh. Paul Gaustad’s interview was so good that I actually watched it twice. Paul was angry and he was embarrassed and he thought that the effort was “unacceptable.” Hear, hear, Paul! He was right when he said that it’s everyone’s job to hit, not just his. He looked quite pissed. I hope he kicked everyone’s ass after the media left. I don’t know what to do with Jason Pominville. I used to love his adorableness and innocence. Now I kind of want to throw him off the roof. I couldn’t even read his blog without gagging. Seriously, Jason? YOU NEED TO STEP IT UP. YOU NEED TO START SCORING. Maybe we need to tell him that if he scores lots of goals the unicorns will come back?!?! ANYTHING at this point. I can’t believe I wanted him to be captain this year. My new vote for captain is Mr. Gaustad. He’s one of the only players who actually seems to care about winning. He’d make a much better captain than Rivet.
- Times must be bad when even the penalty kill is sucky. I couldn’t believe the Sabres let the Caps score TWICE with a man-advantage. (Although the Backstrom goal, which was right in front of us, was actually a very, very nice goal. I wish the Sabres could score goals like that)
- I’m looking forward to seeing who Lindy scratches. I want Jochen scratched, definitely. I feel almost blasphemous saying it, but Pommer could use a night off too. Staffy could probably sit again, and maybe even (I’m sorry Cari!) Derek. And Jaro. And Teppo. And Hank. For the first 59 minutes last night I would have said Clarke too, but since he scored I guess he’ll stay. Maybe Lindy should just bring up the rest of the Portland Pirates and have them play a night. It might knock some sense into the Sabres.
- The power play needs some serious work. I don’t know what, but Darcy and Lindy need to do something. They need to get someone good to quarterback the PP. They need someone on the point who can actually keep the puck in. They need to stop passing the puck around and just shoot. Look at the Caps’ power play. All they do is shoot. You know, someone should tell the Sabres that one of the reasons Alex is currently the second highest scorer in the league is that he always SHOOTS THE PUCK. If Pommer shot more, I bet he could score. If Jochen and Derek shot more, I bet they could too. I hate bringing up that obnoxiously cheesy quote of Wayne Gretzky’s, but the guy knew what he was talking about when he said that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. IT’S TRUE, SABRES. WHEN YOU DON’T SHOOT THE PUCK, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN SCORE.
- I really do believe that the Sabres have some talented players, but someone needs to teach them to start acting like it. Remember last year? Derek was pretty darn good last year. Even Pommer looked pretty good out there. Is it all mental with them? Is there some sort of block in their brain keeping them from playing well? We need to hire some sort of psychologist to get in their heads and figure out what the hell is wrong with them.
- I didn’t pay much attention to the Sabres during warmup last night, and while we all know one of the reasons, there’s another. I noticed it in November, and I noticed it again last night. The Capitals look good even when they’re warming up. The drills they do, and the passing, and the puck-handling. All of it. They look like a good team out there before the game even starts. (One player in particular was absolutely mesmerizing with the puck before the puck even dropped, but I won’t mention him. This post is supposed to be about how much the Sabres suck.)
- And is it just me, or are all of the Sabres incredibly slow skaters? Good grief. It looked like they were trying to navigate through molasses at some times last night.
- Adam Mair scored the first goal for the Sabres last night. It was actually a really nice goal. The thing is, Adam Mair shouldn’t be the one scoring that kind of goal. Thomas Vanek should. Roy should. Pommer should. When Adam Mair, Matt Ellis, and Paul Gaustad are out against Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Kozlov, there is something wrong.
- At this point in the season, I don’t think the Sabres will make the playoffs. If they do, it’ll be a last minute eighth seed, which would (most likely) mean Boston, which would most likely be very embarrassing.
Well, that’s all I have to complain about for now. Have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve, everyone, and we’ll see you tomorrow for The Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl, Take Two!
But before I discuss that perfection, I have two things to say about the Sabres:
1. They are not very good at hockey. I actually think they might suck at it.
2. I honestly think that Nate-dogg would fit in the palm of my hand.
Okay, so on to the perfection.
ITS NAME IS ALEXANDER OVECHKIN. IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND TALL AND FLEXIBLE AND HOT DAMN, IS IT FAST.
PERFECTION is a funny, funny guy. During the warmup, when I may or may not have had my face pressed against the glass to try and get a good picture, he decided to start banging up against the glass to get it moving for all the devoted fans. THE SIDE OF MY FACE IS NOW TENDER, THANKS TO PERFECTION.
Alex was entranced by the clips from America’s Funniest Home Videos during the first period, but couldn’t care less about the Kiss Cam.
Alex has a habit at a lot of commercial breaks. He takes off his helmet, pours water all over his face and neck, dries off his head and wipes down the visor before putting his helmet back on.
Alex may or may not have ADD. At every stoppage in play he was getting up and sitting on the edge of the bench and skating in circles.
Alex likes grape Gatorade best, from what I can tell.
Alex is a really, really good hockey player. You wouldn’t believe it. He also has a really sexy on-ice voice. I totally swooned when he shouted, “Go! Go!” at Nick Backstrom.
Nick Backstrom has the most gorgeous blonde hair I have ever seen in my life. I really want to run my fingers through it. Kind of like Lane on “Gilmore Girls.”
Chris Clark recognized me. I swear. My dad came down while I was staring at Alex and goes, “Um, Chris Clark was just staring at you and he looked like he recognized you.” Later on I caught him looking again, and I waved every time he skated by. I think he and I are BFFs now.
Mike Green is really hot. Like, super-duper hot.
I. Saw. Joe. He looks just as awesome as I dreamed he would.
I also saw The Goose’s Roost sign, but the pictures didn’t turn out because I was too far away.
The Sabres’ power play is one of the shittiest things I have ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on.
I hope Lindy was serious when he said that he wasn’t just using “idle threats.” I really want all the big players to get benched. I want to send a message.
I really want the Sabres to start winning again. I miss when they used to win.
But…um…you know what I miss most?
(getting Chris Clark in there was totally unintentional)
(and I swear, he was all over the place. it was like watching Carey Price again)
P.S. Well, now that I’ve seen him, I can try to get back to actual hockey content. I realize that this place had kind of become Alex Ovechkin Central.
I’m much better now, Dear Readers, I promise. I tend to get a little testy when I get the Gardasil shots. (After my second one in August I had a total meltdown when I couldn’t find the toothpaste, and last night I actually cried during “The O.C.” Sure, it was the episode where Marissa died, but I had seen it before. And it’s “The O.C.”) I’m ready to go hit the funeral and then party at HSBC. I’m sure it’s what Aunt Dodie would have wanted.
My jersey, hat, and jeans are packed, the tickets are in my pocket, and I’ve sent threatening letters to the Sabres. (Dear Sabres, I am not afraid to start openly rooting for the Capitals tonight. I want to root for you. Overall, I like you guys better [although the Caps have better random video features on their website], and would rather pull for you. But if you start falling apart out there, be reminded that it’s not that hard to take a hat off. With Love, Frostee) The sign kind of crashed and burned when my dad tried to hijack it and put something about how awesome we think Joe Beninati is. I love Joe, but didn’t really feel like advertising it. Sorry.
And apparently today after the funeral my presence is required at the Eagle House, because apparently it is my job to entertain my second cousin six times removed who happens to be my age. I know nothing of this kid, other than that he’s from Virginia, is “very outgoing,” according to Grandma, and told my mom when she was visiting Dodie last year that he was disappointed I hadn’t come because he wanted to show me his DVD collection. Good grief. I would MUCH RATHER stalk various hockey players with Cari, but OH NO. Why do I always have to spent time with the creepy boys? I mean, come on.
And just in case you were wondering, my uncle is completely crazy. He drove out for the funeral today from Detroit, and last night we had him over for dinner. In between teasing him about the Lions and discussing the economy, he mentioned how he had tickets for the Blackhawks/Red Wings game tonight but give them up. HUH?!?!? Detroit is not that far away, if I recall. He could have easily gone to the funeral and then made it back to the Joe for the seven o’clock start time! We were shocked.
Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone. Go Capitals Sabres!!!
After making WAY too big a deal over a stupid piece of cardboard that I’ll hold up for like 30 seconds, I finally figured out that I’ll do. On the sign, I will put: “Hey Ovie, skate over so I can take your picture!” I’ll be right down at ice level. Fingers crossed that it works.
Edit: OKAY, SCREW MAKING A SIGN.
Well, TFF Headquarters will officially be getting a little Chinese boy for ten days in January. I’m sure it will be a culturally enriching experience. I hope the kid doesn’t freak out when he sees hockey.
Since Cari is AWESOME and indulges me so, she thinks that when I’m at the funeral tomorrow she should kidnap me and we should go stake out the hotel. That is a FANTASTIC idea, but only if after I tackle greet Alex, we go drop in for a visit with Princess D and remind him to STEP IT UP and ask him to pass on to the rest of the team that they need to STOP SUCKING.
P.S. Apparently Goosie will probably be back on Tuesday. Woo!!
- The concert last night was great. I liked three out of the five bands opening, which I figure is pretty good. We missed most of The Common Kings because we were chilling with Jeff Czum at the merch table. (Apparently after my friend took a picture with him, she told him she loved him. I pointed out to her that he must have thought I was hotter, though, because he actually came out from behind the table and threw his arm around me and pulled me close for our picture. She told me to go screw myself, and I told her that by Tuesday Jeff can be all hers again. She realized that was true and dropped it.) CIWWAF played all my favorite songs, so, you know, life is good.
- I don’t really have any Sabres news to report other than Timmykins getting sent back down. Poor Timmykins! I’m kind of surprised; I thought this one would last longer. He had looked pretty good Saturday night. Oh well, maybe this means one of the boys will be coming back!
- Poor Jay McKee. I really hope they don’t have to chop off his finger. (Dear Jay, This is what you get for leaving Buffalo! With Love, Frostee)
- Before I left last night, I teased my mom telling her how she was probably going to just sit around watching the Capitals game without me. Well, apparently she did. (I was rather amused by this) I was helping her put groceries away a minute ago when suddenly she asked me, “Do you know how big Ovechkin is?” Frostee: “6’2, 220 pounds.” Frostee’s Mom: “Yeah!! I didn’t realize how big he was until one of the announcers said how his son wanted to meet him and when Alex hugged him, he engulfed him because he was so big.” Frostee: (whining) “I wanna meet Alex!!! PLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE!!!! Get me in to meet Alex!! I really really really wanna!!!!!!” Frostee’s Mom: “How am I supposed to get you in to meet him? I don’t announce for the Capitals.” Frostee: “I don’t knooooowwwwww. Just do something.”
- So, I half-jokingly had been saying that today after I got my shot (it’s my last Gardasil and those always hurt like hell and therefore make me slighty…er…cranky) I was going to make my mom drive me downtown to keep me from getting annoying. Because is it just me, or does it seem like EVERY SINGLE TIME a Caps player has a funny story about something that happened with the team, they were always “on a road trip in Buffalo”? I was going to stake out all the hot spots and when he finally showed up (because I trust that Fate would send him walking right by me) I would ever so politely ask for a photograph. I wouldn’t even ask for an autograph on my jersey unless he had a minute to spare. Just a quick little picture. I can’t do that now, however, because my uncle decided to come in for my great-aunt’s funeral today and they’re all coming for dinner. Blast!
- Speaking of great-aunts and funerals, fortunately unfortunately for you, I have to go up north for it tomorrow so you’ll only get a short post from me. I’m sure you’re crushed that you won’t have to deal with approximately sixty, “OMG OMG OMG IDK WHAT TO WEAR OR WHAT TO DO WITH MY HAIR OR HOW TO STAND THERE OMG OMG OMG WHAT IF HE THINKS I’M A LOSERRR?” posts tomorrow, just one. We have to go all the way up to North Tonawanda for the funeral (but it was kind of a blessing that she passed, because she was in her nineties and was totally batshit crazy kind of confused in her later years. and I haven’t even seen her since I was eight), and then we’re just chilling at my grandparents’ until the game.
- At Town Ballroom last night when they were showing the upcoming shows, it kept advertising “Ryan Miller’s Catwalk for Charity.” I wasn’t quite sure why they did that, because 95% of the people there won’t even be old enough to get in.
- Good grief, Bills. At least that’s over.
Good grief! Every other word was “you know” in Tvan’s post-game interview. EVERY OTHER WORD. I was about to go get Little Ryan and throw him at the television.
Why did it take a shootout to beat the Islanders? Not only are the Islanders craptastically bad, but the Sabres had a two goal lead with four minutes left. Hell, they had a one goal lead with TWO SECONDS left. That was not good. N.G., as my grandfather would say, “smelly” as my great-grandfather would. It’s a good thing Ryan delivered in the shootout and that Staffy and Al scored those nice goals.
Max had a two-on-one in the third, and he had a FREAKING EMPTY NET, and he passed the puck back to the BLUE LINE. WHY DOES HE ALWAYS PASS IT TO THE BLUE LINE?!?!?! WHY?!?!
Timmykins looked pretty good in his debut, especially since it was in his hometown. I love the vacant expressions he always had on the bench. They made him look about ten years old. I was afraid he would have to leave before overtime so he could get home before his curfew! His interview after the game was also absolutely PRECIOUS, so now I have all these players vying for the number one spot in my heart.
The look of relief on Pommer’s face when he scored that goal was priceless. Seeing him shake his fists to praise the hockey gods and then mouthing “finally” was great. I don’t like it when Pommer is off his game. It…confuses me.
Derek, did you get in a fight with Cari or something? Yikes, you were all over the place last night and you kept fanning on shots and missing empty nets and not getting to the face-off circle in time and then putting the team offside when you were trying to get on the bench. You need to get back to that badass play.
I’m kind of glad the Habs beat the Penguins. I know that they’re in the same division as the Sabres, but I just don’t really like it when Pittsburgh wins. You know, the Penguins are still a good hockey team, but they aren’t the invincible monster that plowed through the playoffs last spring. And all the Pens fans are going to send me angry emails now claiming that they’ve had a ton of injuries and they just need to get everyone healthy again, but have they seen how many injuries the Capitals have had? The Caps have lost almost 200 man games to injuries and they’re sitting in second place in the conference, fourth in the league, and they don’t even have a great goaltender like the Pens do! And, not to be gross or anything, but Sid can’t even spit well. They showed him on the bench and he was trying to spit but all he ended up doing was drooling. He looked like my cousin’s daughter.
I’m kind of mad that I forgot to DVR “Miracle” last night. I haven’t seen it since right after it came out, but I watched the end. And got very teary-eyed, because not only is it still incredibly how the Americans beat the Soviets, but remembering that Herb Brooks passed on choked me up. Then you throw those plaid pants in the mix, and forget it.
Completely unrelated to hockey, but just an interesting observation on how the Chinese view us: My family might be getting a Chinese exchange student for ten days in January. There are several middle schoolers coming in and we sent in an application since we thought it would be really great to host one. The woman called yesterday to set up an appointment for us to review the kids’ profiles, and when she and my mom were discussing the kids it came up that while most of the families here didn’t care if it’s a boy or a girl (even though the kid would be following my brother, it would have been okay if it was a girl since Ben does, after all, get along with everybody), the Chinese parents almost always specify that they want their children staying with American kids of the same gender. I can’t help but wonder if that’s because of an American stereotype in China. I was intrigued by that, and also convinced that taking the kid with us to see “Rent” right after they get here is probably not the best idea.
And apparently the kids have a very, very basic knowledge of English. Frostee: “So, like an Alex Ovechkin-level understanding of the language?” Frostee’s Mom: “I think they know even less than him.” So there’s your frame of reference.
Speaking of Alex, since I’m sure you’re all dying to hear what witty anecdote I prepared about him for today, I thought I would direct you back to the video I linked yesterday. (I forgot to mention this since I most likely suffer from short term memory loss. It’s crazy) I would like you to pay attention near the end of the interview when Alex takes that fantastic hard hat out of his locker stall. You’ll notice how everything falls, and he gets this adorable, “Oh shit, here it comes,” look on his face. Dear Readers, that look is so easy for me to read because I get an identical one on my face whenever I go into my closet. Stuff always rains down on me. It’s probably hilarious for outsiders to watch.
I have no faith in the Bills being the spoilers today. And apparently now Tom and Giselle are saying they aren’t engaged, and that story was made up. What, TMZ making up a story? NEVER!
I can’t reveal my sources, because I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, but I was talking with someone the other day who said that most players would play through the kind of injury Tim Connolly has and that he’s something that rhymes with “wussy.” I was kind of surprised hearing it from this particular person, and highly amused. Timmy, not playing through and injury that most players would handle? Shocking!
TK got called up!! Is he going to make it in time for tonight’s game? How awesome would it be if he got to make his debut in Buffalo!!
But if Tim is coming up, who’s getting scratched? Normally I would call for Afinogenov, but now that he’s on pace for approximately five goals, Lindy’s not going to want to sit that offensive power.
This doesn’t mean Tvan’s sitting, does it? Good grief. The Sabres are kind of screwed without him, even when he’s just skating on one leg. (Dear Thomas, GET WELL REALLY SOON. With Love, Frostee) Just remember, fans of Buffalo. It is not the player who fired the shot’s fault. Thomas is the one that decided to block that shot. He didn’t have to, but he did. So just remember that if you ever see the one who took the shot and you happen to have a heavy object in your hand.
In other, non-hockey news, apparently Mr. Douche Tom Brady finally proposed to Giselle. I think everyone in Buffalo should chip in and get them a really nice present.
Just for the record, I’m trying really, really hard to be upset about last night’s game. It’s kind of hard.
- The majority of the first period was rather boring. It was just back and forth, back and forth, with Frostee occasionally shrieking, “ALEX!! GOOOO!!!!! SKATE!!!!!”
- Andrej Sekera is officially in my mother’s doghouse. She was less than pleased with his performance last night and announced about halfway through the second period, “I don’t think Andrej Sekera is a very good hockey player.”
- I really don’t like Harry Neale, but I loved him last night for all his, “Alex Ovechkin is spectacular. Alex Ovechkin is the best player in the league.”
- Ha. I LOVE Crunchy’s skull caps.
- I am very worried for Thomas Vanek. I mean, first they had to DRAG HIM OFF THE ICE, and then all the sudden he was back and skating on one leg, and then he scored. Is he becoming the Tiger Woods of hockey?
- I was kind of looking forward to a Petey/Brashear fight, but I guess that’s not going to happen.
- My jersey is huge. I love it, but it is ridiculously large. I will be able to wear it for the rest of my life. (Dear Washington Caps, If you change the logo again, we’re going to have some serious problems. With Love, Frostee)
- I really enjoy hearing RJ get all pissy about the guys who do the sirens after goals are scored. It’s amusing to listen to him talk about how they need to learn to shut the things off when goals are disallowed.
- Am I the only one who found it incredibly ironic that Max finally scored a goal when he was jumping in the air to try and avoid getting hit? He’s such a bad player.
- Lala looked pretty darn good last night. It’s too bad the rest of the team sucks.
- When I went upstairs last night, I had to put Mini Alex and Little Ryan on opposite sides of the room. Little Ryan was giving Mini Alex the death glare and I got worried since they’re on a higher shelf and it’s a long fall to the ground.
- Um, my secret boyfriend is back in the lineup, and I’m assuming he’ll be playing on Tuesday. Uh-oh.
- Jason Pominville really needs to step it up. I feel kind of bad getting mad at him since he’s the nicest, most adorable guy on the team, but this is getting ridiculous. I really need him to just score a freaking goal.
- Ditto for Jochen. He needs to start winning face-offs.
- The Sabres’ plane is kind of awesome.
- That goal Mr. Ovechkin scored? Fabulous. He just skated right through Tallinder (or Lydman, as Harry Neale likes to call him) and then he fell over and still scored. Please, enjoy his post-game interview. I would kill for one of those hardhats. I would wear it everywhere.
- Islanders tonight. Pretty Ricky is back in the lineup and they finally won against the Leafs last night. The Sabres kind of need a win, since I have absolutely no faith in them winning on Tuesday.
Happy Boxing Day, Dear Readers! Can you believe Christmas is already over?
- Waking up at eight this morning was SO worth it. We got a ton of great deals, and I finally found a pair of hot gray skinny jeans to wear with the teal top I got. Phew.
- I am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH my new Ovechkin dress jersey. Sure, it’s so big that I could wear it without pants and not look like a slut (it’s even longer than my Homecoming dress), and sure the sleeves are redonkulously long, but it’s gorgeous. And I (hopefully) won’t even look that weird, because according to the guy in the store today, Reebok makes very few size small jerseys. And they were all sold out when my parents finally ordered the thing, and since it wasn’t even supposed to come for several more weeks, I’m not going to complain. I’ll just role up the sleeves and work that bad boy tonight and in HSBC on Tuesday.
- Lala is starting tonight. Huh. I realize that December 26 is the day in the season when the most backup goalies are used, but I really thought Lindy would have him start for the Islanders tomorrow since he enjoyed success against them back at the beginning of the season. Fingers crossed that Alex and the boys don’t embarrass him too much.
- I got a Ryan Miller poster for Christmas as well, because apparently it was like $.50 at the middle school bookstore. I don’t even care, because the look Miller has on his face is the funniest thing I have ever seen. He is giving the death glare. It is SO getting hung up on The Wall.
- The phone just rang and no one answered it. You may be wondering why I am telling you this. Well, it’s because when we checked the number of the missed call, it was the Washington, D.C., area code. I squealed for about ten minutes and then we called the number. It was some charity asking for money. I really wish we hadn’t called, because then I would have been able to tell everyone that Alex Ovechkin called my house but I missed his call because I was reading the article on Cute is What We Aim For in the paper. (I can’t wait till the concert! I love Shaant)
- Don’t ever play Apples to Apples with your 86 and 90 year-old grandparents. Please, just don’t.
- I think I figured out what I’m going to put on my sign. I’m probably just going to write “Ovie always scores a goal when I watch!”
- Funniest part of the weekend? When I told my grandfather that I was going to wear my new jersey to the game on Tuesday and he became genuinely concerned for my safety. Heh. I love how he’s afraid that the batshit crazy fans of Buffalo will try to kill me for wearing an Ovechkin jersey to the game.
- I want to thank everyone for the lovely holiday greetings. I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas! (Or whatever holiday/non-holiday you celebrate)
Last night’s Caps game? Fabulous. I was really worried that I would have to throw JOKEY Theodore under a bus, but he came through when it really mattered.
Dear Chris Drury,
I’m still laughing over that turnover that led to Alex’s overtime-forcing goal. Merry Christmas, Captain Clutch!
Dear Simeon Varlamov,
No worries, man. Maybe Jose will “tweak his groin” right before the playoffs.
Dear Nick Backstrom,
You are a beautiful, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Swedish boy. I’m looking forward to seeing you next week.
So, here’s the deal. Since we have a few hockey-free days, I need your help. I have absolutely no idea what to put on the sign I am making for the game next week. I was going to put, “Hey, Ovie, I’ll be waiting under the mistletoe!” but my dad is the one going to the game with me and he thinks I’m “way too young” for that. Ha. I wasn’t too young for a guy older than thirty to check me out. Whatevs. I might end up putting a picture of Mini Alex, or maybe just a picture of the picture frame Twihard gave me and put something along the lines of proclaiming myself his biggest fan. I’m not sure. This is a very difficult task. There are so many different options, I just don’t know what to choose.
Oh, and Weirdo-Creepy Sidney Fanboys Dear Readers? Please stop leaving obscene comments. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion (which must be why you guys love Crosby so much), so you can stop telling me exactly what I can do with my opinions (or what Sidney can do with my mother). I’m deleting them all, and I’m kind of amused by all your typos.
Well, I think I’m signing off for Christmas tomorrow. Enjoy your holidays, everyone! Eat lots of candy canes for me, and make sure you watch the “A Christmas Story” marathon on TBS!