That’s it. I’m done. The Sabres win. Not the game, just this…thing we have going. They suck. They were AMAZING at the beginning of the season, but so were the Bills, and we all saw how my relationship with them ended. Obviously I can’t just stop being a Sabres fan, but I think I’m going to stop caring.
Well, no. I won’t, actually. And you know why? Because there are a few things I take for granted in this life:
1. I will fall asleep before the end of “The Ten Commandments.” It happens every year, and I’ve accepted that.
2. I will always have at least one big test the day before Christmas break.
3. The Harry Potter movies will never be as good as the books.
4. The Sabres will always get two points against the Islanders.
That last one didn’t happen tonight, and that’s not good. When the Islanders beat you, you know there are problems. I’m not really sure who I’m more mad at. The only person on that team I don’t really hate right now is Mark Mancari, because how could you possibly hate him?
Now I have to stay up till 10:30 to watch the Capitals game because not only do I need to see that at least one of my teams doesn’t completely suck ass, but that peppermint tea I just had that was supposed to “relax” me instead woke me right up.
Four straight losses? For reals? This has got me really concerned. I only saw the third period of the game last night (since I was at “It’s a Dog’s Life,” which is probably the cutest show EVER, and I recommend you all go see it this afternoon), but it was enough to make me want to have Drew Stafford killed. Not even kidding. A wide open net, from six inches away, and he missed?! Fuck it, Drew, you’re supposed to score on those opportunities!!!
And DO NOT even get me started on Clarke. He just left that puck there for Jeff Carter. When they were showing who got the assists on the top of the screen after that goal, I started yelling that they got it wrong and forgot to list MacArthur. That. Was. DISGUSTING.
And while I’m totally glad that Hank and Max got scratched last night (that turnover in Boston was disgusting, and Max has been almost as bad as Derek), I’m kind of mad that I missed Mark’s game. I would have like to watch him.
I have a confession to make, however. There is a SUPER TINY part of me that is SLIGHTLY glad that Crunchy didn’t have the best game of his career or whatever last night. Because I was really afraid that right after I decided he and I needed to take a break, he would start playing incredibly, and then I would realize that all of his sucking was, in fact, my fault. That was quite a weight off my shoulders.
Um, were we the only ones who think Roby may or may not be having impure thoughts about Thomas Vanek? During the post-game show…yeesh. He was really getting into it when discussing how amazing Tvan has been playing.
The following exchange took place right after Pommer’s (can you believe Lindy called him that? That was SO CUTE!) interview:
Frostee: Dad let’s play “What’s Wrong With This Picture.” So, what’s missing in this interview?
Frostee’s Dad: Naked girls in the background.
Frostee: Ha. With Jason? Oh, and ew. No. That’s not it.
Frostee’s Dad: Um…he’s scratching his ear?
Frostee: You’re getting warmer. Think about it from a girl’s point of view.
Frostee’s Dad: *sighs* He’s not wearing a shirt?
Frostee: Exactly! Instead of getting a freshly showered, shirtless hockey player, we get Jason Pominville, balding at age 25, wearing his under-armor, and scratching his ear. This is why they’re having problems with ratings! It doesn’t have to do with the lack of players to interview after some games, it has to do with the clothing the players are wearing! They need to take it off! I guarantee, ratings would spike as soon as we got someone without his shirt on.
I truly believe that, Dear Readers. We’ve already determined that the majority of marketing the NHL does is directed at women, so why can’t we always get the guys sans shirts? Because not only is it, well, hot, it also softens the blow of the loss really well. And that’s a solid fact.