Over the past few years I’ve come up with a rule for myself. After my favorite teams are eliminated, I don’t wear their apparel until the playoffs are over. I just don’t want to be that guy in the Sabres shirt in the middle of the conference finals, you know? This usually is highly inconvenient, because my weekend attire when I’m hanging around the house is quite frequently a hockey shirt. This year was particularly rough because all of my hockey shirts except one got knocked out in the first round. Now that Stanley has been awarded and I’ve spent the day out and about and sitting finals in a Toews shirt, I can go back to lounging around in my Backstrom shirt. (And thank the hockey gods for that, because it’s the most comfortable tshirt I own)
So, congratulations to the Blackhawks for winning. It’s all quite exciting and it was only a matter of time. I’m of the opinion that they should just not carve Hossa’s name on the Cup to piss him off. I’m also a little sick seeing Campbell and Huet get it, but like the case of swine flu I had last June, it’ll pass eventually. It kind of felt like a now-or-never situation for Chicago since their cap is a mess, and I like enough Hawks fans to be the bigger person and congratulate them. We’ll get Stanley next year! (I hope)
In regards to my prediction, I personally believe that I had a pretty good chance of being right. Philadelphia managed to keep it close in several games and looked great in the games they won. Kane’s goal was a fluke and if Leighton wasn’t so bad he might not have even scored it. So whatever. I have no regrets.
But seriously, guys, it makes for a nice story and all, but sometimes waivers goalies AREN’T the answer.
I figure we’ve got plenty of time so I won’t talking about the Stupid F***ing Ice Bowl that’s being announced later today (typical NHL, so desperate to work Crosby in that they’re announcing an event featuring him [and Alex] the day before the Cup Finals are starting, which don’t include him. But I can’t be too made that the Caps are visitors because as everyone has been pointing out, the visitor goes to the Cup Finals. Fair trade off.), but I would like to present my worthless well thought out predictions. And I would like to talk about the in-studio guest NBC is hosting during the game tomorrow night.
First, the pick. This is hard for me. Everyone is picking Chicago. Chicago is so trendy and they’re so good and everyone just loves them and thinks that even if it takes six or seven games, they’ll win. First of all, I think the problem I have with Chicago is that while I like quite a few of their players on an individual basis (Toews is so good, and, I mean, I own a Toews shirt for a reason), when they’re assessed holistically they make me think of that stuck-up jock at high school who knows he’s all that and knows he’s talented and attractive and somewhat funny and just assumes that everyone will love him. I’m not saying they’re not a really good team, because they are. Don’t get me wrong, I realize they’re talented and they do have a really good chance of winning it all this year. But they’re the star quarterback, and that gets on my nerves a little.
Then there’s Philadelphia. Philadelphia has essentially flipped off the hockey community by winning the Eastern Conference because everyone figured they were done for back in December when they switched coaches and celebrated by getting spanked by the Capitals, specifically one Lars Nicklas Backstrom (10 YEARS!!!!). Then when they finally snuck into the playoffs, everyone wanted to play them because they knew it would be an easy win. I was included in that list as far as the Caps’ first round matchup was concerned. I didn’t want the Sabres to play them because I knew Richards would score at least 16 shorties during the series.
But I digress. All of a sudden the Flyers are playing for the Stanley Cup and aside from the part where they’re on like their eighteenth goalie, they look like the team everyone picked before the season started. I hate the Flyers with a passion, but they’ve got something good going too. And as much as I detest them, I honestly think they have a legitimate chance of winning. That’s why I have a problem just picking the Blackhawks in six, because I think if Philadelphia plays the way they have for the past few rounds I think they could actually win the Cup. And if that happened, I’d have to kill myself and then cancel my subscription to the Buffalo News.
So now I don’t know if I should just pick Chicago anyway, because their goalie isn’t so high risk in the “complete meltdown” category, or pick Philadelphia because I think they could do it and I wanted to be able to say I picked them. I feel like this is one of those things where you have to see how each team plays against each other but that’s a cop out.
I think I’m gonna go with the Flyers because of all of the above reasons and also because Hossa plays for Chicago. I may have made it this far without mentioning him and his curse, but it clearly plays some significance. Don’t ever piss off the hockey gods. So, yeah. Philadelphia. I’m certainly not rooting for them, I just think that they could actually do it. Dare to be different!
I’m going to need a long shower when this is all over with.
NBC must realize, however, how I feel about these teams, because they’ve added some intermission entertainment to the game tomorrow night. None other than Buffalo’s own Ryan Miller will be taking the stage with Pierre and Mike to wear one of his uber trendy suits, discuss the game, and hopefully diffuse the tension that will surely build between Pierre and Mike. Personally, I’d rather just see him in between benches instead, but I realize this won’t happen.
As I would just like to remind everyone, I have an amazingly excellent track record with my favorite players doing intermission reports on NBC.
I actually haven’t watched this interview in quite some time, so I had forgotten how magnificently awkward it was and how deep and insightful it got with the learning stuff. If Ryan Miller’s appearance is half as epic as this one, I will consider it to have been a success.
See, guys? NBC can get it right every once and a while!
I have no idea why we don’t have school today. Um, it’s not snowing and the roads look fine. Whatevs, I’m not complaining.
Tonight the Sabres play the Blackhawks. Woo. Buffalo’s favorite son returns home, faces off against his favorite childhood team, blah blah blah. The ‘Hawks are really good, this is another big test for the Sabres. After the way they thoroughly manhandled the Capitals I have lots of faith in them…unless Lala starts. Which apparently is a possibility. Oh, lordy lord. I know I go on and on about how he needs to start, but still, the Sabres simply do not play well in front of him. It saddens and frustrates me, but it’s the truth. If he plays tonight and the Sabres lose because of him, I’ll most likely cry.
In the interests of full disclosure, I am wearing a Toews shirt. I’m rooting for the Sabres 110% tonight, but let’s face it: The Blackhawks have a totally kickass logo and this t-shirt is very comfortable.
Speaking of shirts, my Lars t-shirt finally came yesterday! Victory is mine! Suck it, NHL Store.
I know lots of people going to the game tonight, so I hope the Sabres give them a good show!
In other news:
The Flyers were shut out by the Senators, further illustrating that theirs was the most effective coaching change ever. Remember when everyone was SO SURE that the Flyers were THE BEST TEAM IN THE NHL, BAR NONE, and they were definitely HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE CUP FINALS? That was funny.
I’d say this video is one part hilarious, two parts horrifyingly awkward, one part pornographic.
- The new issue of Men’s Journal has a lovely photo spread of one of my preferred stupid, suspended Russians. I spent about thirty seconds looked high and low across the internet but couldn’t find the pictures already on there and since my camera is in need of new batteries and the scanner has been broken for three years, you’ll just have to trust me that aside from the model who probably had intercourse with him, the pictures are pretty darn hot.
- I saw a Myers third jersey today in school. It made me warm and fuzzy.
- NHL.com and I have been in a battle of epic proportions since May: I want a Lars t-shirt and they don’t want me to get one. I decided this in May when Larsie was tearing it up in the playoffs and being a BAMF and I was so in love with the Capitals and the first two games of the second round and everything was sunshine and daisies. I think the video in this post also had a lot to do with that decision. I made my way over to the online NHL Store only to discover that the only size they carried was an adult XXL. There is no way a shirt in this size would ever, possibly fit me, so I decided to wait. I checked periodically throughout the summer but it wasn’t until early October that they finally appeared to restock and appeared to be carrying my size. I hurried to place my order and I was reviewing the final order before submitting it, I discovered that the item I ordered was backordered and it would ship in 2-4 weeks. “I’ve been waiting since May,” I said to myself, “So I have no problem waiting a few extra weeks. I won’t let them win.” You can therefore imagine my surprise when, a week later, I received an email saying that my order had been further delayed and I would receive notification when it shipped. Today I got an email saying the order was cancelled. As I was NOT going to let them win, I hurriedly placed a call to the number at the bottom of the email. I have now re-placed my order. I got 20% off and it will ship in 2-4 weeks, they promise. It’s not even like I want a Lars shirt SO BADLY that I simply HAVE TO HAVE IT, but just forgetting I ever wanted one is like letting the terrorists win. So, NHL.com, you may have won this round, but I assure you that I will be victorious in the end.
- I’m so sad that Spacek, formerly known as the beloved Caveman, is coming back to Buffalo.
- I’m starting to get really pissed at Lindy. Yo, dude, I get that we’re the only team that has yet to win a game with a backup in net, but seriously, Ryan is going to FALL APART.
- Does anyone know if Matt Bradley is a papa yet?
- I do not understand how Chicago is going to fit Toews, Kane, and Keith under the cap along with the Soupster, Hossa, and Huet. It doesn’t make sense. Isn’t that like 90% of their payroll right there? There isn’t enough room!
- I’m glad tomorrow’s Friday.
Word on the street is that our own Drew Stafford has signed a contract extension, but since the Sabres haven’t confirmed it yet and I haven’t gotten a text yet, I’m not going to comment on it.
Other than that they better not be overpaying the inconsistent little jerk.
I’ve been back to school for two whole days…and I’ve already started my count down till next summer. Heh. The best part so far was in our Welcome Back assembly when they told us that the best way we can get involved is by dressing up for Halloween and Homecoming week. Wow, I never knew giving back to your school was so easy.
I was going to put up my Sabres preview this weekend, but I think I’ll wait and post it next weekend. Sorry to let you all down.
Alexander is returning to the US of A tomorrow, which is very exciting. Supposedly Lars is already back, which is also very exciting. On Wednesday, Alex will be in the Big Apple to promote his video game. He’ll be arriving by zamboni. Yes, I know, he can’t drive. It is for this reason that my mother suggested I blow off school and we drive on down, because apparently even she would drive seven hours and then turn right back around if it meant seeing Alex driving an ice-resurfacer down the streets of New York. Alas, I have two tests on Wednesday and I’m babysitting that night, so I shall be unable to go see him. Blast.
The hockey game I want to go to in DC is the Inaugural Club Scarlet Night. Methinks that would be an excellent game to be at.
I’m not liking the Sabres’ chances this year.
Zachity Zach!! Oh, how I have missed thee. And did you get a haircut? (As I was writing this post, I realized that I don’t have a Zach Bogosian tag. What the HELL is wrong with me??)
Okay, which part of this video is the best part? David showing how to play safely by showing up in flipflops? David discussing his career shootout stats against Slapshot? I can’t decide. But oh, how I love David. You’re going to be so badass this year.
Hands off, ladies. He’s spoken for. (It took me a really long time to get that link to work because the video was in Russian. Lots of guessing and random clicking involved.)
And finally, this one:
(This was the only video I could actually embed.)
Ha. Hahaha. Oh, Cabbie. You know how to make me LOL. You really do.
Ryan, thanks for being the first to just come out and admit that yes, you’ve done yoga. There’s no shame in it. Yoga is so great, and you feel so happy and peaceful after. Really. I thought I was going to skip yesterday when I finished.
Joe: “I’ve gotta admit, I’ve gone once or twice.” Joe, just say that you go weekly and that you can’t imagine life without it. We see right through you trying to be all coy. It’s really cute, but we know the truth.
“Are your pores just leaking Grey Goose?” = Best line in the video.
(Author’s note: Trust me, you sweat it out in hot yoga. Like, it pours off you. But I haven’t gotten lightheaded yet.)
Don’t fight it, Joe. We know you were looking.
Jonny, you are SUCH a typical 21 year-old. “I had to!”
Joe Thornton seriously cracks me up.
So that’s about it. I realize that this post had absolutely no pattern or reasoning behind it. But that’s okay.
Today I got my new Toews t-shirt. The fabulous Clare purchased it for me when she was in Chicago for the Blackhawks Convention.
I’m not a huge ‘Hawks fan, but this shirt is awesome. I absolutely love it.
(Just in case you were wondering, we did end up getting the Flyers/Devils game. It kicked on about thirty seconds before puck drop)
- I seriously have a hockey hangover. It might not be as bad as the one I had after the Great Playoff Binge of ’08 (last spring, while my parents were at Shea’s seeing Jeff Dunham and my brother was spending the night at a friend’s, I literally watched hockey from seven at night till two in the morning. It was ridiculous), but it’s still there. Last night was intense.
- I have decided to file this post under every category I have that’s related to games, because I figured with all 30 teams playing last night, it would apply somewhere.
- Everybody keeps talking about how the Sabres lost 2-1 in the shootout last night, but I’m not sure where they’re getting that from. Uh, Fans of Buffalo? The Sabres won 1-0. Crunchy even got a shutout! (He was so obviously interfered with on that goal. Smyth lifted his stick right off the ground!)
- Um, who didn’t love that JM Liles interview? His smile is intense.
- Caps won! Woo!! Less than a week till I see Ovie!! But my parents decided to be totally mean and when they showed him sitting on the bench at the start of the game, and my dad announced that “He really is hideous.” But then he almost redeemed himself later, when after we learned that Ovie had fetched the puck for Fedorov after his goal, Dad decided that when he gave Sergei the puck he probably told him “Enjoy it, ’cause that puck is going to be mine pretty soon.”
- My mom thinks we are obnoxious when we watch hockey. She has no idea.
- Colorado must have a terrible penalty kill if they’re 39th in a league with 30 teams.
- Did anyone else catch when the announcers at the Detroit/Chicago game mentioned how great the tandem of KOEWS and TANE are? It was like earlier yesterday when I was talking about The Office and said something about “Pim and Jam.”
- When Brian Campbell did a spin-o-rama, I wanted to puke.
- We decided that we’re going to have to agree with the fans at the Rangers/Penguins game that Crosby does, in fact, suck. So do the Penguins.
- Henrik Lundqvist does not suck. Neither does Joel. *swoons*
- Philly fans are terrible. Would any other fans in the world throw a stink bomb/flare thing on the ice? I didn’t think so.
- Montreal lost in regulation. Ha!
- We actually did get Hockey Night in Canada at the Montreal feed, and were treated to Don Cherry. His blazer kind of gave me a headache.
- We have decided that Comcast is terrible at broadcasting sports. We kept trying to count the guys on the ice to see if anyone had a power play.
- I’m not a huge fan of the Winter Classic jerseys. But I love the looks on Koews and Tane Toews and Kane’s faces when they’re modeling them.
First of all, I would just like to say that I LOVE Patrick Kane more than words could describe. Crunchy may be my reliable first love, and Ovie may be the one I have wildly inappropriate fantasies about, but at the end of the day (after the aforementioned fantasies), it’s actually Pkane I want to be able to sit down on the couch and watch the news with. I think it would definitely work out between us, because he appears to like to be in charge, and I like to be in charge too so we could challenge each other, we’re both from B-lo (okay, so techincally I’m from Orchard Park, but we’re both Western New Yorkers), he’s hilarious, so he could keep me laughing, and my grandmother loves him almost as much as I do (although his grandparents are quite possibly the only people in all of WNY that my grandma doesn’t know. She used to play bridge with the mayor’s mother, was BFFs with John Stevens’s [remember him? that was the only season of American Idol I ever watched] grandma, and is Ralph Wilson’s neighbor. But, of course, she doesn’t know Mr. and Mrs. Kane Sr.)
The only problem I see is Jonathan Toews. Now, I get that they’re teammates, and I can understand them being good friends. I’m fine with that! What I don’t like is Jonathan trying to get some off my man.
(Once again, NHL videos fuck up my post. How’s that for something new and different?)
Basically, Jonathan totally did that, “I’m going to pretend I’m stretching but actually I’m trying to put my arm around you” trick. And it was NOT appreciated, Jonathan. Stop going along with every single thing Pkane says, and stop trying to put your arm around him. That is MY spot, and I DO NOT appreciate you taking it!!!
BTW, I am watching all these videos when I am supposed to be taking advantage of the empty house to work on my scrapbook. But seriously. Patrick Kane acting like an adorable five year-old, or scrapbook? Oh gee, that’s a toughie.
I think I am basically screwed on this project. Good thing I got a 97.5 on my Guns, Germs, and Steel test, and have an UNWEIGHTED 97 average!!! EEEEE!!!