It’s Awfully Quiet…

March 2, 2009 at 5:02 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Derek Roy, Maxim Afinogenov, Patrick Kaleta, Randomness, Sean Avery, Thought-provoking Stuff, Tim Connolly, Trading Madness! | 2 Comments

No Sabres have been traded yet.  I didn’t expect Darcy to deal anyone today, but you never know.  At this point, I don’t even know who will be traded.  I honestly can’t see the Sabres trading Timmy but if they can’t lock him down and if there’s a good offer he might be gone.  Max made it quite clear in the paper yesterday that if he’s not going to play he wants to be traded, and I just kind of shook my head when I read that.

Dear Max,

Um, HELLO, no one wants to trade for you.  Darcy tried.  No one wants you wasting roster space.  I’m a bit surprised there isn’t a single team out there who would take you for the “excitement” factor (end to end rushes that NEVER end in a goal!!), but hey, that’s life.  Please, stop sounding like such a victim.

With Love,


Yesterday Clare and I got together at Starbucks.  It was a ton of fun.  We talked about hockey and she did not say one single time, “But I don’t care if he sucks!  He’s hot!!!!!!!”  At one point she did say that our good ol’ friend Soupy hasn’t exactly been getting along with his coach.  Heh.  If Chicago trades him I might just die laughing.

Sean Avery is back on re-entry waivers.  Awesome.  I think we should all place bets on how long the new Sean lasts before he gets back to his usual antics.

Don Cherry was bashing Alex.  Whatever.  I usually respect everything he has to say, but this time I kind of had to disagree.  Some people might say that he’s gloating, but I personally think it’s just because he loves the game so much.  

My friend Nicole met Derek Roy yesterday.  Apparently he didn’t act gay, and was just wearing a blue shirt and “slacks.”  I was kind of hoping he would be wearing another one of those lovely sweaters he has.

My other friend Corinne knows a girl who ran into Pkaleta at the mall trying on shoes.  Like, literally ran into him.  I’m pretty sure if I did that I would break something.

All day people kept coming up to me and saying, “Your hair is shorter!”  Yes.  I am aware of that.  I was there when it was cut.

Semin’s game-winner against Boston was totally BA on Saturday but the game yesterday was terrible.  6-2?  Seriously, Washington?  AND Pittsburgh won, so the Sabres are currently out of the playoffs.  It’s Camp Fun and Games for the Sabres fans right now.

The Nathan Paetsch Experiment

February 7, 2009 at 10:41 am | Posted in Andrew Peters, Buffalo Sabres, Happy!!, Jaroslav Spacek, Jason Pominville, Lindy Ruff, Montreal Canadiens, Nathan Paetsch, New York Rangers, Ottawa Senators, Patrick Kaleta, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Ryan Miller, Sean Avery, Tim Connolly, Twins Named Lundqvist, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

When they were scrolling the lines at the bottom of the screen last night I thought it was a mistake when it said Paetsch on the wing.  I was even more confused when he wasn’t listed in a defensive pair, and then I saw Pie and Petey were scratched so I was quite perplexed.  Then RJ or someone else said something about Patches playing on the wing and I wondered if Lindy was on crack.  Sure, it’s a really smart idea having a seventh defensemen dressed in case Jaro got hurt again, but Patches?  Playing the wing?  Ever since that New Jersey game in December I have disliked Nathan.  Maybe he’s been playing better these past few games, but he was so craptastic that night that I just didn’t ever want to see him play again.  I would have rather seen Pommer go back on D for a few shifts.  (I’m still waiting for that, Lindy.  Why must you taunt is by telling us Pommer might play defense but then keep him on offense?  It’s cruel.)  

Patches proved that he actually could play a good game of hockey.  On offense.  And he scored a lovely goal.  Sure, it wasn’t like the Timmy goal, but that pass was great and the one-timer was awesome.  Woo, Patches!  Lindy said in the postgame press conference that he might just keep Nathan up front. I realize he might have been joking but that line last night was probably the best one out there.

Ryan Miller is certainly justifying his contract, if you ask me.  He has been ridiculously good.  I’m glad we decided to keep him.

Tim Connolly is amazing at hockey.  End of story.

Heh.  Jaro’s goal made me happy.  See, Sabres?  Just take a shot!  You never know when you’ll catch the goalie by surprise and get a goal!  (The picture on the front of the Sports section today in TBN made me all fuzzy inside.  Jaro looked so happy!)

I really wish the Sabres would just shoot on the freaking power play.  Did they have any shots with the man-advantage last night?  I really want to just make them all sit down and watch footage of a team that actually SHOOTS THE PUCK on the power play.  That’s really my only complaint from last night.

Patty K was hitting everything that moved last night.  He’s such a great guy to have in the lineup.  I keep forgetting to mention it, but I absolutely love Patty killing penalties.  It’s so awesome. 

That whole game last night was awesome.  Beating Toronto was great because it was their first game back after a long road trip and they needed to get the confidence and momentum, but last night was huge because it was a team above them in the standings.  They’re only four points out of fourth place.  If Boston beats Philly this afternoon and then Buffalo beats Ottawa, the Sabres will be in fifth place.  One point behind Montreal/out of fourth place.  Tonight’s game is huge.  Absolutely huge.  Ottawa is terrible but Buffalo is terrible on the second nights of back-to-backs.  

Dallas beat the Rangers 10-2.  That.  Is.  Hilarious.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Remember when everyone thought the Rangers would win the Cup after like two games?  That was amusing.  There are lots of rumors swirling around that Sean Avery is headed back to the Rangers.  Last night no one on the postgame show thought he would go back to New York, but if I were to take an unbiased stance on all this I would say it was an excellent idea.  From what I’ve seen of the Rangers, all they really have that keeps them from being a terrible team is Henrik Lundqvist.  Sean Avery would definitely add a little pizazz to the lineup.  (Did I just say pizazz?  In regards to Sean Avery?)  They had a better record with him in the lineup than without him last year, and while I think standing in front of goalies and waving your stick is absolutely moronic he definitely knew how to get the team going.  

The Caps are playing the Panthers tonight so I have double the reasons to root for Washington.  I love it when they win and we need them to do us a favor and keep Florida from getting two points.  The Panthers handed the Caps their first regulation loss in the Verizon Center way back when, but I have faith in the Caps.  Won’t they be desperate for a win after that LA game?

Pittsburgh won.  Boo.

Is Petey coming back in the lineup tonight?  This could really go either way because obviously you might want him in there after last game, but I’m thinking Lindy might want to keep in the players that win him the games…

I’m Really Glad I’m No Longer A Bills Fan

December 14, 2008 at 5:03 pm | Posted in Bills, Losing Sucks, Randomness, Sean Avery | 2 Comments

After we took advantage of the free Starz preview weekend by watching “The Breakfast Club” and “Ghost,” we flipped over to the Bills game.  (Purely out of curiosity, of course)  Heh.  And to think that my mother and I thought for a few minutes that they might actually beat the Jets.  Well, at least I’m not a fan anymore, because if I was, I would probably have to punch a hole in the wall.

BTW, I’m officially in love with Facebook Flair.  Just search Ovechkin, and a couple pages in you’ll see why.

Does anyone else think it would be HILARIOUS if Sean Avery ended up getting traded to Atlanta?

Well, my brother is playing “Eleanor Rigby” on the piano.  Time to go rock out.


December 4, 2008 at 4:50 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Buffalo Sabres, Players, Ryan Miller, Sean Avery, This Irks Me, What Is Up With All These Injuries? | 1 Comment

Right now, I am sitting on the couch typing this post because my mom read an article in a medical journal that said going on Facebook and blogging and things like that is actually good for teenagers.  She told me that if I actually tried to sit there and study for three hours before religion, she was pulling me from honors.  Huh.  Guess I’ve been totally stressed out and therefore acting like a bitch to EVERYONE a wee bit cranky these past few days.  Good thing I had the new issue of Sports Illustrated to chill out with earlier.  (Great issue.  I LOVE the Michael Phelps article [even though Alex should have been Sportsman of the Year], and the one about “The Other Alex” was pretty great.  It confirms my suspicions that Alex Semin is a total oddball.)

But apparently the Sabres are mad at me for not talking about that suckfest of a game on Monday, because they have FALLEN APART in the 48 hours since I last posted.  Oh my God, Sabres, you guys need to CHILL.  Seriously.  Practically the entire defensive unit is hurt, Max is a -10 (well, he was a     -10 before, but I just read that stat on the Sabres’ website), and Pkaleta is walking around in a neck brace?!?!  The INSANITY of it all!  My poor, poor Sabres are loosing it.  crunchy-concerned1(I’m having some serious issues with getting pictures on here today, so you’re going to have to deal with eerily-large photos)

Look at how worried Crunchy is!  He looks like he’s losing weight (right when we had made so much progress!), and are those circles under his eyes??

And, um, Alex and I need to have a talk.  Because while I LOVE the fact that he loves me so much that he’ll only play well/score goals while I’m watching, I’m kind of concerned that he’s having the Caps lose whenever I don’t watch.  Alex, listen, I love you and always will, but dude, if you wanna make the playoffs this year you better play like ferocious badasses every single night.  Just save all your really spectacular plays for when I’m watching.

I’m kind of glad I’ll miss most of the game tonight, because I get the feeling that it’ll be a slaughter.  But not the Sabres slaughtering the Panthers.  Which really concerns me.

You know, I was thinking earlier and I couldn’t help but wonder.  Is there any way the Sabres could, like, trade for Kovalchuk?  Now, I realize “trade” is like some sort of curse word to the Sabres, but how awesome would that be to have him?

P.S.  I have not mentioned Sean Avery because basically, I think he’s a retard and have no idea why the NHL suspended him.  Seriously, NHL?  I would have rather seen him play Calgary, because I’m sure Dion Phaneuf could dish out a worse punishment than Gary Buttman Bettman could.  Unless, of course, Gary decrees that from now on Sean Avery can only shop at Walmart.

Why Do I Not Have An Hour And A Half Of Proofs?

December 2, 2008 at 6:01 pm | Posted in Derek Roy, Losing Sucks, Sean Avery | 2 Comments

Like, for reals?  This is the first night since like September that I haven’t had at least an hour of proofs.  This is kind of rad.

You know what isn’t rad?  That Sabres game last night.  Good God.  If it wasn’t for Gossip Girl, I probably would have gone and read more of Great Expectations.  That’s how boring that game was.

Someone needs to take Harry Neale far away and lock him up so he can’t hurt anyone anymore.  I have always suspected that that’s what needs to be done, but after last night’s vasectomy comment I’m convinced.

While he or she is at it, someone also needs to tell Mike Robitaille that he is not Don Cherry.  Tell him I’m sorry, and that I still love him, but he is not, and never shall be, Don Cherry.  

If anyone still doesn’t think Derek Roy is gay (um…seriously?  You don’t?  Do you live under a rock?), just check out the past few posts on My Safety Is Harvard and Sabre Chaser.  I’m really sorry if you were one of those crazy-ass puckbunnies, but he is.  

Sean Avery, you need to shut your freaking mouth.

Sean Avery Wants Me To Gouge My Eyes Out

September 10, 2008 at 6:54 pm | Posted in Huh?, Sean Avery | Leave a comment

Seriously, Sean Avery? A movie about a hockey player being an intern at Vogue?  A romantic comedy?  Do you really think people will come see this movie?  


Sean Avery confuses me more than trigonometry.

The Hotties and Notties of the NHL, Part 2

July 18, 2008 at 5:19 pm | Posted in Brian Campbell, Chris Drury, Daniel Alfredsson, Daniel Briere, Drew Stafford, Jordan Staal, Mats Sundin, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Comrie, Ray Emery, Sean Avery, Sidney Crosby, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Toni Lydman, Zdeno Chara | 2 Comments

Several days ago, we took a look at the 20 hottest players in the NHL.  Today, we will be focusing on the 20 ugliest guys in the league.

The Notties (In no particular order)

Max Afinogenov, Buffalo Sabres.     Sucking is not hot, Max.  Neither is working for the Russian Mafia.



Mike Modano, Dallas Stars.  Basically, this is just leftover from the 1999 Stanley Cup Finals.  I actually do kinda like him for looking like Jon Heder’s clone.  And that chipmunk face he made in that Stanley Cup Playoffs promo.


Thomas Vanek, Buffalo Sabres.  $50 million is not attractive.  Especially not for the “Vanek Attack.”  It’s also not that attractive admitting on television that when you aren’t playing hockey, you are playing X-box.


Brett Hull, Dallas Stars.   YOU SUCK!!!!




Drew Stafford, Buffalo Sabres.  In keeping with my whole, “Jacob is better than Edward” thing, I just have this to say: Drinking the blood of virgins is not attractive, Staffy.  I’m sorry.



Zdeno Chara, Boston Bruins.  Basically, Zdeno, I’m just scared of what you’ll do to poor, short little Nathan Gerbe next year.  That’s all.



Mats Sundin, Current Team Unknown.  Okay, Mats.  Either sign that 2 year, $20 million offer in Vancouver so that after an October game we never have to see your overrated ass again, or go to back to Sweden and never bother us again.


Dominik Hasek, Detroit Red Wings.

I refused to believe that he’s really retiring, in light of all this Brett Favre drama.  But don’t think I don’t know what you did to get out of Buffalo, Dominik.  Don’t think for a second that we all don’t know.

Daniel Briere, Philadelphia Flyers.  There is nothing hot about a greasy whore.  There isn’t anything hot about spearing a totally innocent guy in the balls, either.


Daniel Alfredsson, Ottawa Senators.  We know that your team was sucking majorly, Alfie, but that’s no excuse for firing a puck at Scott Niedermayer’s face.  Getting swept in the first round by a bunch of underaged boys isn’t all that attractive, either.


Brian Campbell, Chicago Blackhawks.  There is nothing hot about greed, Soupy.  There isn’t anything hot about your hair with your new ‘hawks jersey either.  I hope you freeze at the Winter Classic this year.



Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins.  Okay, I am fully aware that I am going to be attacked by a herd of angry Crosby fangirls.  (And angry fanboys)  And please understand, it’s not that I don’t like him.  I do like him.  Actually, I feel really bad for the kid.  He has no friends.  
He has no idea how to do an interview without getting an assistant coach somewhere fired.  I would totally be Sidney’s friend.  I really would.  

All that said, I have to tell you, Sid.  If you have any hope of getting off the Nottie list and onto the Hottie one, you need to stop admitting that Mario talks to you about having safe sex with girls.  Very uncool.

Toni Lydman, Buffalo Sabres.   Just…




Jeff Finger, Toronto Maple Leafs.  

Who are you????



Tim Connolly, Buffalo Sabres.  I’m really sorry, Timmy.  I do like you, I really do.  It’s just…you’re too, well, fragile for my taste.  Sorry about all this.



Mike Comrie, New York Islanders.  I am well aware that he is dating Hilary Duff.  I had to wade through a whole mess of pictures of them kissing just to find this one.  But sleeping with your ex-teammate’s wife is not hot.  Infidelity gets you on the Nottie list, Mike.  


Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins.  It’s his mugshot.  Need I say more?




Chris Drury, New York Rangers.  A picture’s worth a thousand words.  Chris Drury, however, is not.



Sean Avery, Dallas Stars.  I don’t care if Marty Brodeur is fat, and I don’t care if he slept with his wife’s sister-in-law.  He is still a totally badass goalie, and therefore Sean should not be waving his stick like an idiot in front of his face.  No wonder Elisha Cuthbert dumped him.

Ray Emery, Russian League.  I know that he technically no longer plays in the NHL, but I figured for him I could make an exception.  He does drugs, fights with his teammates, and had a convicted rapist on his mask.  N-O-T-T-I-E!




And that about sums it up!  I was really surprised with some of the people who ended up on this list; I guess some guys were just so ugly I blocked out their names.

The Offseason Thus Far: The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

July 14, 2008 at 10:15 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Bobbleheads, Brian Campbell, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings, Evgeni Malkin, Jose Theodore, Marc-Andre Fleury, Marian Hossa, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Green, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kane, Patrick Lalime, Paul Gaustad, Pittsburgh Penguins, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Sean Avery, Tampa Bay Lightning, Vincent Lecavalier, Washington Capitals | 3 Comments

Now that I know at least one person will be reading my blog (thanks a billion Corinne!  I promise to read any blog you throw my way!), I feel like blogging a bit more.  Since we are, after all, fourteen days into the free agency period, I thought I’d take a minute to discuss all the good, bad, and confusing of the offseason thus far.

The Good

  • The Sabres resigned Paul Gaustad.  This is good for several reasons.  First of all, he’s great on the faceoffs.  His winning percentage is pretty rad.  Second, as a dedicated member of the Green Team, I’m happy to know someone so committed to saving the environment is sticking around.  Also, I wouldn’t mind if he shoots a few more PSAs for next season.  He’s good friends with Ryan Miller, which should hopefully be a plus as Ryan contemplates whether or not he wants to make a commitment to the Blue and Gold.  And, of course, The Goose is hot.  
  • The Capitals went on a signing spree, locking down Mike “Mohawk” Green for 4 years, Brooks “Ladies’ Man” Laich for 3, and Sergei Fedorov for 1.  Now, I only just became a Capitals diehard around March, but I still got excited when I saw these.  Greenie led all defensemen in scoring, so he can’t be that bad!  And Laich is a ladies’ man.  Who doesn’t love a ladies’ man?  Fedorov was bitchin’ on a line with Mr. Ovechkin and Kozlov.  I was (ba-da-ba-ba-ba!) loving it!
  • Vincent Lecavalier signs with Tampa Bay for 11 years and $85 million, complete with one of those evil no trade clauses.  Vinny is decidedly a hottie, and a darn good player, and Tampa Bay decidedly sucks, so I am happy that I won’t have to worry about a player with actual talent going to a team that doesn’t suck and beating the Sabres.  Although this could pose as a problem in the future for Alex and the rest of the Caps.  Hmmm…
  • Pittsburgh signs Fleury and Malkin, longterm.  I put this on the good list because  pity the Penguins and their fans.  They went through what we Sabres fans went through last year with The Whores, aka Drury and Briere.  A lot of the players seem to hate Therrien, and a lot of the players skipped town at the start of the free agency period (to Tampa Bay, strangely enough.  Watch out, Alex and Co.!),
  • Ted Nolan is fired by the Islanders.  Sucka!!!
  • The Sabres signed Nathan Gerbe, Tim Kennedy, Jhonas Enroth, etc.  This signing spree was encouraging, since I had fallen in love with Nathan Gerbe, everyone’s favorite shortie, the moment I heard about him.
  • Ray Emery had no choice but to sign with some Russian team.  This honestly made my day when I read it.

The Bad

  • Detroit signed Hossa for one year, and they got Ty Conklin to back up Ozzie.  Note to every other team in the NHL: Don’t even bother.  You’re screwed.
  • Brian Campbell signed with Chicago.  I had really enjoyed the Blackhawks last year.  Their winning in no way affected the Sabres’ ultimately unsuccessful run for the playoffs, and Patrick Kane plays for them.  Who doesn’t love Patrick Kane?   But then Soupy had to sign with them, for way too much money.  Not cool, Soupy.  Greed is almost as unattractive as that sloppy red hair of yours.
  • Cristobal Huet signed with Chicago.   I get that he’s not even a really great goalie, but still.  I had gained a soft spot for him in my heart during his stay in Washington, and really liked those, “Hip, hip, Huet!” cheers.
  • Crunchy is not under contract after this season.  (By Crunchy I mean Ryan Miller.  For some reason Miller is referred to as Crunchy across the blogosphere, and who am I to shy away from a trend?)  I know that he sucked this season, but a mediocre goalie is better than no goalie at all.  And what am I gonna do with Little Ryan if he goes and plays for Detroit?
  • Max Afinogenov is still a Sabre.  Seriously, the guy sucks.  He has not scored a goal since 2001.  I would know.  I watch Vintage Games.  
  • Sean Avery signed with Dallas.    I’m going to miss him.  He’s obnoxious, and he’s stupid, but he’s always good for a laugh.  

The Confusing

  • Washington signs Jose Theodore, since Olie got pissed when they traded for Huet and left for Tampa Bay.  (CAPITALS!  BEWARE OF THE LIGHTNING! BEWARE!)  I wasn’t really sure what to think, since Theodore is supposed to be pretty good when he doesn’t have the flu, aka detroitredwingsitis, so I googled him.  And found  this.
  • Patrick Lalime, the Sabres’ newest backup goaltender.  He’s been out in Chicago for God knows how long, so I don’t know what to think.  All I know is that he used to play for Ottawa.  *shudder*
  • Jeff Finger.  Oh, you’ve never heard of him?  Yeah, well neither has anyone else.  I think Cliff Fletcher was feeling all sad about saying goodbye to Mats Sundin and went binge-free agent shopping.
  • I find it hilarious that Sundin was offered $20 million for 2 years in Vancouver.  Mats, just a suggestion: go away.  Please.
  • Brooks Orpik resigned with Pittsburgh.  I was under the impression that he wanted out.  I was also under the impression that the Sabres would try to make an offer for him.  Nope.  Darcy didn’t make him an offer, even though his brother Andrew is a Sabres prospect.  Whatevs, Darcy.  Call me when you lock in Crunchy for life.

Sorry if I didn’t mention any of your favorite offseason moments!

Create a free website or blog at
Entries and comments feeds.