A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (#64, #65)

June 18, 2009 at 10:08 pm | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Happy!!, Kris Versteeg, Mike Green, NHL Awards, Pavel Datsyuk, Players, Richard Zednik, Sergei Fedorov, Steve Mason, Tim Thomas, Zdeno Chara | 1 Comment

The NHL Awards concluded not too long ago, and while the choices for musical entertainment were a bit, uh, questionable, I highly enjoyed myself for the most part.

The NHL does this wonderful thing each year at the awards where they bring the nominees in for a photo shoot while they’re all dressed up and looking nice.  The results are usually fantastic, and the pose choices for this year were no exception.

alex tie

I thought I’d start off with a picture of Alex, since, you know, he’s a ferocious badass and won three awards.  That’s actually why the last two reasons are being used up tonight.  Because, um, three awards gets you two reasons for love.  My math skills are rad.

But poor math aside, once again this was Alex’s night.  (Because, alas, Candy Corn Head could not wrestle the spotlight away from him.)  Since I’m apparently a terrible fan I never realized that his grandfather had actually passed on, so when he said that in his speech I got all choked up.  I think he did too.  Can I just say, that if he had started crying, I would have been sobbing.

When he and Malkin went up for their scoring hardware, I was highly amused when Geno congratulated him.  He turned to the right even though Alex was on the left, and when he turned back Alex shifted over.  Maybe you kind of had to be in my head, but it was hilarious up there.

Then he won the Hart trophy and did his hot stick celebration with it.  Don Cherry’s gonna be pissed.  Then he promised a Cup in DC next year.  I like a man with confidence, I really do.  I hope that’s the case next year, because I have little hope in the Sabres pulling it together that quickly.

But back to the picture.  One of the popular poses tonight was adjusting your tie, as Alex is.  He also has a cute little grin/smirk thing going on, and you can still see the red in his hair.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been mad at him for the past week and tonight made me forgive him, but I think this picture is just goofy enough to work.  And as my mother will be quick to point out, you can’t see his missing tooth.

malkin

Maybe it’s just me, but good ol’ Geno looked kinda pissed at first when Alex won.  His girlfriend also looked kind of skanky, but again, maybe it was just me.  I do, however, like this picture, although only because it’s so bad.  I think the photographer was looking for a tough, manly, crossed-arms pose, but what he got was Malkin going, “Like this?  I put arms on elbows like this?”

steeger

I’m kind of sad Kris didn’t win, even though he was up against hard competition in Mason, but this picture makes up for it.  I think the point of this pose is to put us in awe of the players’ strong build and tall bodies, but all this does is make Kris look a tad bit confused.  And a little bit angry.  I love the tie, but the hair has got to go.  Sorry, Kris (and Cari).  I just don’t think it works on you.

But I really appreciate his decision to not wear Lacoste.  I was ready to fly out there and punch him if he did.

michael

Oh, Michael.  Michael, Michael, Michael.  There are so many things wrong with this picture, but at the same time so many things right.  It isn’t exactly a secret that I have been furious with Michael since the playoffs started, but when he showed up on that red carpet with his stupid mohawk and his smart little bowtie, my heart kind of melted.  Damn you for making me love you again, Michael.  Damn you.

I was really surprised to see Chara take home the Norris because I figured that even if Michael didn’t win, Lidstrom would.  Whatever, Michael.  You didn’t deserve the award.

However, I do think he managed to pull off a successful picture.  Unlike some players (coughMalkincough) he seemed to understand how to cross his arms, and that and the slight bend in his knee is enough to give the picture a sassy tone without being too sassy.  I also actually kind of like the facial expression.  It looks like he tweezed his eyebrows again before hitting the show.  I think he was trying to go for an alluring face.

And I’m glad his mommy could be there with him.

niklas backstrom

I consider this picture to be a win, even if the player in it didn’t do that.  He’s got the right amount of smile and the right amount of folded arm, but it’s not too in your face.  I’m also a huge fan of his suit.

And his name is Niklas Backstrom, and we all know how much I love men with that name.

parise

In this pose, we have Mr. Parise attempting to put his hands on his hips.  While his smile definitely gets a ten (as the puckbunnies who make bumper stickers on Facebook would say, “his face was crafted by angels”), I’m not so sure about the rest of it.  It just doesn’t seem like a natural pose for Zach.  It almost comes off cute, in the “aww look at the little boy trying to pose” kind of way.  And it definitely looks awkward for him.

candy corn head

And then there’s Candy Corn Head.  Oh, Candy Corn Head.  I simply adore you.  I’m so happy you got to take home two trophies and I loved your speeches.  You’re such an eloquent speaker, even though your English is “short.”  (And, did you tell the rest of the Russians to inform us that their English, too, is short?  Because it seems like they all were saying it.)  There’s nothing you could do to make me stop loving you, unless you defected to Russia.  You seem like the nicest guy, and very humble.  I wish you nothing but happiness.

Speaking of defections, WHY was everybody all, “Yo, Sergei, we love you, we’re letting you present the Hart Trophy, we’re calling you a Capital.  It’s all good”?????  He is signing with Russia. That’s what he wants to do.  It was so annoying seeing him sitting there and just looking so happy when all along he was probably thinking happy thoughts about the KHL.  He is supremely annoying.

And the sad thing is, if for some reason he should end up with the Caps next year I’ll probably love him again.

But all in all, I thought the awards were fun.  TimTom was all cute for both of his awards, Jarome Iginla further convinced me that when I win the lottery and buy the Sabres I have to bring him in to be captain, and somehow Richard Zednik didn’t win the Masterton.  That was the only one that truly perplexed me.  Dude had his throat cut open and almost died last season and came back to play this season.  But whatevs.

Now we get to look forward to the draft and, more importantly, Free Agency Day!!

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Richard Zednik Is Going To Win The Masterton

April 1, 2009 at 3:57 pm | Posted in Andrew Peters, Atlanta Thrashers, Buffalo Sabres, Contracts, Dominic Moore, Happy!!, Ilya Kovalchuk, Jaroslav Spacek, Mikael Tellqvist, Patrick Lalime, Richard Zednik, Teppo Numminen, Trendy Euro Sabres, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries? | 2 Comments

I was really happy when I saw Teppo got nominated – because coming back from open heart surgery to play when you’re 40 years old is quite an accomplishment – but let’s be honest.  Richard Zednik had his artery sliced open and almost died.  He has this award locked up, and I really don’t have a problem with that.  (Although Brian Pothier’s story is pretty heart-warming too…)

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I just thought you should know that all day I have been going up to people and reminding them that the Funnest Week of Hockey Ever starts tonight.  The Sabres are in Atlanta to play the outrageously frustrating Thrashers tonight, they face my beloved Caps on Friday, and then Sunday afternoon the Caps and Thrashers play each other.  I have told you this before, but I’m saying it again.  I have also said before that if I was a true, diehard Thrashers fan (but does that species even exist?) I would be so effing mad at this team.  They sucked royally for the first three or four months before turning it up.  Thrashers, there is absolutely no point in losing the first thirty games of the season and then winning five straight.  That does nothing but screw over your chances of getting the first pick.  Either be good for the entire season, or be bad.

And please don’t trade Ilya to LA.  I could handle a trade to Montreal, because then he’d be in our division, but do not trade him to LA.  I will never see him again if you do, and that would make me very sad.

My friend’s dad is going to be on Jeopardy Friday night but we’re DVRing it so I can watch the Caps.  I decided if for some odd reason the Sabres should lose (5-3) tonight I’ll have to root for the Caps because at that point the Sabres’ season will be over and the Caps need to take advantage of New Jersey’s current skid; but if Buffalo squeaks out a win I’ll cheer for them.  To start.

I entered to win tickets to the Washington/Atlanta game Sunday but didn’t.  I’m a little upset. 

Trendy Euro is backing up Miller because poor Lala has some sort of hip ailment.  Frostee’s Mom is very excited.

While I’m definitely (and inexplicably) attached to Trendy Euro, I find myself not feeling the same way about Harvard.  I’m sorry.  He just seems to be like a lot of the other Sabres: completely ineffectual.  I know he’s been taking faceoffs and killing penalties and bringing grit to the lineup, but I’m kind of sick of seeing that.  My apologies, Mr. Harvard, but in my humble opinion you don’t seem to be worth $3 million.

I just broke the news to my friend that Petey is a UFA this summer.  It did not go over too well.  I love Petey, but if the Sabres sign him before they sign Caveman we are going to have some serious problems.

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