Old Time Hockey!!

November 27, 2009 at 6:25 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Craig Rivet, Happy!!, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Philadelphia Flyers, Players, Ray Emery, Scott Hartnell, Tim Connolly, Tim Kennedy, Tyler Ennis, Tyler Myers, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

First I was happy when the Sabres scored the first goal.  Then I was concerned when the Flyers scored two quick ones (Dear Sabres, Work on actually playing for twenty full minutes, not nineteen and a half.  With Love, Frostee).  Then I was cautiously optimistic when they came back, and then I was happy again when they won 4-2.  When you start and end happy, consider it a good game.

Score aside, that was one big chippy chipfest.  Wow.  So much fighting and hitting and players writhing on the ice in pain and me having mini panic attacks.  All in all, I think the Sabres alone ended up with 13 3 casualties?  Patty getting kicked out, Goosie hurting one leg and Craigory hurting two?  Then there was Tyler Myers, but thank the merciful and great hockey gods, he came back.

Both Paul and Craig’s injuries looked serious.  The Sabres will miss having their captain around, but Paul Gaustad has been one of the best players for the team aside from Ryan Miller.  They’re going to miss him a lot.

Mayhaps we can call up Tyler Ennis?  If he’s not too busy with other things?

Tim Connolly had a spectacular night afternoon.  Good on ya for finally doing something, Timothy.

Mike Richards is the slimiest of all the slimeballs in the land, and I don’t like him.  He’s so dirty, and he’ll always get away with it because he’s Mike Richards (cue Pierre McGuire).  I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Patty got suspended for his hit, but no one’s going to do anything about Richards.

Ray Emery is not a very good goalie.  I don’t know why everyone kept thinking he’s the reason the team could actually make a deep run this season.

Killing off all the power players against the best power play in the league was pretty spiffy, boys.  Good work.

Stupid Scott Hartnell felt the need to pick on Timmy K, aka someone half his size.  Keep it classy, Scott.

I don’t like Philadelphia.  This win was very satisfying.

It was also an important win to get, because I’m already nervous about tomorrow night and to go into a game against Carolina with a five game losing streak is a recipe for disaster.

Sabres, please don’t completely embarrass yourselves at home against the Hurricanes.  That would be tragic.

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What An Awesome Weekend.

November 14, 2009 at 9:37 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Happy!!, Losing Sucks, Maxim Afinogenov, Philadelphia Flyers, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, Tyler Ennis, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

The Sabres played the second night of a back-to-back tonight. It was against a good team. Ryan was in net again. Their leading goal-scorer (before the game) (who only has five goals, shudder) was out injured. Sounds like the recipe for an ugly loss, right?

Not for these boys!!

After the disaster that was last weekend, the Sabres managed two good wins against two really good teams. Ryan Miller saved their arses, but they still won. Vanek even scored tonight! I had assumed he had forgotten how to do that, although he supposedly has six goals now?

Holding the lead against a good team like the Flyers is huge. They were able to do that for a whole period and didn’t let the Flyers get the momentum when they did score.

Flyers fans are douches.

Beating Ray Emery always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Tyler Ennis got his first NHL goal!! Go Tyler!! I was a little surprised when they called him up, but he was great. It’s nice to know we have a whole bunch of players we can rely on for the future. But his being good is not helping our large amount of forwards.

Max is doing wonderfully down in Atlanta. He even got two goals last night, and has six on the season. Oh, Max. We all knew you would explode once you left town. At least you’re playing for a team I like.

It sounds like the Caps game was a mess. Thank the merciful heavens that I didn’t see it. Even though they would have won if I had been home to watch it.

Oh, Sabres. You’re making me like you again. It’s so much fun.

What’s All This I’ve Been Hearing About A Condensed Schedule?

October 4, 2009 at 10:48 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Peters, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Chris Butler, Losing Sucks, Montreal Canadiens, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Players, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Steve Montador, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Tim Kennedy, Tyler Myers, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

One of the complaints I’ve been hearing a lot lately is about the condensed schedule we’ll be seeing this year due to the Olympics.  Um, the Sabres don’t play again until Thursday.  That’s not condensed.

Last year, the Sabres beat Montreal in the shootout at the home opener. I was there, and it was one of the most fun games I’ve ever been to just because of the excitement and the fact that after a disappointing season, they started off the new year by winning.

This year, the Sabres lost to Montreal in overtime.  It was a pretty fluky goal, and it was just the first game of the season, and the Sabres still got a point, but I’m disappointed.  Ryan Miller seemed positively chipper about the game (oh, how I have missed Ryan Miller post game interviews), and while there were definitely some positives, the fact still remains that after Timmy scored a power play goal they didn’t get any offense going.  (Um, did Thomas Vanek do ANYTHING last night?  At all?)  The grit was definitely there – especially Timmy K, sticking up for hisself!! – but I expected a little more from the offense.  That’s all.  I just don’t want the Sabres to fall into bad habits, like that one they had last year of being the better team on the ice and then losing.  That habit was supremely annoying.

One thing I was really impressed with, however, was Tyler Myers.  And not just because he reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite.  (“Yeah, I had fun.  God.“)  He was playing in all sorts of situations and I didn’t see him making any glaring mistakes.  I thought he played really well for a 19 year-old making his NHL debut.  There’s no way Lindy can send him back to juniors.

It hurt me that Sir Christopher was in front of Miller for Montreal’s game winning goal.

It seemed to me like Steve Montador got a lot of ice time.

Ryan Miller looked pretty good for most of last night.  So did Carey Price.

Petey got all sorts of fighting-related penalties in his debut with the Devils.

Don Cherry cracked me up last night.  Last year he and I didn’t get along very well, but I decided to give him a second chance this season and he hasn’t blown it yet.

I hope Buffalo beats Phoenix on Thursday, especially since I will be skipping Jim and Pam’s wedding to watch them.

BROOKS GOT THE HARD HAT! The Caps game was pretty sweet, what with five players scoring six goals and Alexander being a badass and getting the scoring started straightaway.  The Monster wasn’t all that impressive, in my opinion.  This is what I like to see, Washington.  But let’s not see the brainfart that was the third period again.

Two things from Brooks’s interview:

1.)  Notice GMGM wandering around in the background not once, but TWICE!  First at the 58 second mark, the next time at the 2:10 mark.  You can also see Ted walking around at the 1:22 mark.  I love when people are randomly wandering around in the background during interviews so much.

2.)  Which player is that hanging out with a baby at the 2:02 mark?  I can’t really tell.  Is it Mo the Second?  It slightly resembles him, but I can’t say for certain.

We have to wait until Thursday for the Sabres to take on Phoenix, but on Thursday Philadelphia is playing Washington.  That’s going to be a really good game, especially since Ray Emery decided to make it seem like his time in Russia actually did reform him.

Another. Game. Seven.

June 11, 2009 at 5:22 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Contracts, Detroit Red Wings, Happy!!, Henrik Zetterberg, Marian Hossa, Pavel Datsyuk, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Randomness, Ray Emery, Thought-provoking Stuff, Washington Capitals | Leave a comment

There have certainly been a lot of sweeps this year in the playoffs, but GOOD GRIEF have there been a lot of seventh games.  But I’m pretty sure Game Seven in the Stanley Cup Finals is about as intense as it gets.  And while I didn’t want this series to go to seven games, the timing is actually perfect.  While New York State does a lot of bad, bad things, one good thing it does is regents exams.  They’re quick, they’re easy, they replace real exams, and they require studying the day before.  Therefore, I have absolutely no schoolwork to do during the game tomorrow night.  The last time I didn’t have a paper to write or a project to work on or a test to study for during a game was spring break.  I think.

I really, really want the Red Wings to win the game tomorrow night.  50% of that is rooted in my genuine like of the team.  The whole organization is amazing!   This is what all teams wish they could be like!  They’re successful with low draft picks!  They have Pavel “Candy Corn Head” Datsyuk!  What’s not to love?!  25% of it is my dislike for the Pens, and 25% of it is the fact that if Sidney Crosby wins the Stanley Cup before Alexander I will jump off the Peace Bridge.

Marian Hossa has basically been a non-factor in this series, crushing my hopes that he’ll get the series-clinching goal.  Of course, he could come alive in his desire to prove to the Penguins that he knew exactly what he was doing when he bolted for Pittsburgh.  I realize that Pens fans think what he did was awful, but really, he passed up money and a long-term deal for a shot at the Stanley Cup.  You’ve gotta admire that.  

While Candy Corn Head came back and asserted himself as my fourth favorite third favorite Russian in the league (I refuse to believe that Sergei Fedorov is “still negotiating” with the Capitals.  He’s gone.  He has abandoned me and the Caps.  It hurts to think about it), Henrik Zetterberg has also kind of been stealing my heart.  This boy is good at hockey.  And he’s Swedish.  Swedish hockey players are almost as awesome as Russian hockey players, FYI.

So tomorrow night the hockey season ends.  The NHL dragged it out as long as they could.  If the officiating is slanted in Pittsburgh’s favor again, I hope the fans at the Joe give the refs hell.  And I won’t be all that surprised if it is.  You all saw Gary Bettman’s face when the Pens were getting blown out of the water in Game 5, didn’t you?

Elsewhere in the hockey world, Brent Sutter left the Devils, Dany Heatley wants out of Ottawa, Emery’s with the Flyers, Tippett got canned, and Nylander might be headed to the KHL.  If Sutter’s done with the Devils, well, looks like we won’t be seeing his angry glare more often.  

I’m not sure how I’d feel about Dany Heatley leaving Ottawa, because he’d be taking with him the punchline to all of the dumb jokes we tell in my family.  It’s really lame, and you kind of have to be there for it to be funny, but every time someone says they hate something, whoever’s near enough adds “But not as much as Dany Heatley.”  Example:

Grandma:  “So what do you think of that Miley Cyrus?”

Me:  “I hate that bitch.”

Mom:  “But not as much as you hate Dany Heatley.”

Part of it is because it’s funny, and part of it is because we hate Ottawa and he plays for Ottawa.  Leaving the Senators might permanently kill our joke.

I laughed for about ten minutes when I saw that Emery signed with Philadelphia.  Guys, I sincerely doubt that a year in the KHL has changed Emery.  There’s a very good chance that the Flyers will drop in the standings next year, either because Emery plays badly or because he completely implodes.  But I will be happy to have the “Eeeemmmmmeeerrrryyyy” chants back.  Those were one of my absolute favorite cheers.

Dave Tippett got fired.  Dallas was in the conference finals last year and didn’t make the playoffs this year.  That’s all.

While I’m definitely against players leaving the NHL for the KHL when they currently have contracts here, I’m actually kind of sort of hoping that Nylander does end up over here.  I do not like Michael Nylander.  He hardly ever plays and he’s not that good and he eats up cap space faster than an SUV eats up gas.  The Caps need to get Semin and Lars locked down, and the last thing they need is wasted cap space.  Bye, Michael!!

The Hotties and Notties of the NHL, Part 2

July 18, 2008 at 5:19 pm | Posted in Brian Campbell, Chris Drury, Daniel Alfredsson, Daniel Briere, Drew Stafford, Jordan Staal, Mats Sundin, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Comrie, Ray Emery, Sean Avery, Sidney Crosby, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Toni Lydman, Zdeno Chara | 2 Comments

Several days ago, we took a look at the 20 hottest players in the NHL.  Today, we will be focusing on the 20 ugliest guys in the league.

The Notties (In no particular order)

Max Afinogenov, Buffalo Sabres.     Sucking is not hot, Max.  Neither is working for the Russian Mafia.

 

 

Mike Modano, Dallas Stars.  Basically, this is just leftover from the 1999 Stanley Cup Finals.  I actually do kinda like him for looking like Jon Heder’s clone.  And that chipmunk face he made in that Stanley Cup Playoffs promo.

 

Thomas Vanek, Buffalo Sabres.  $50 million is not attractive.  Especially not for the “Vanek Attack.”  It’s also not that attractive admitting on television that when you aren’t playing hockey, you are playing X-box.

 

Brett Hull, Dallas Stars.   YOU SUCK!!!!

 

 

 

Drew Stafford, Buffalo Sabres.  In keeping with my whole, “Jacob is better than Edward” thing, I just have this to say: Drinking the blood of virgins is not attractive, Staffy.  I’m sorry.

 

 

Zdeno Chara, Boston Bruins.  Basically, Zdeno, I’m just scared of what you’ll do to poor, short little Nathan Gerbe next year.  That’s all.

 

 

Mats Sundin, Current Team Unknown.  Okay, Mats.  Either sign that 2 year, $20 million offer in Vancouver so that after an October game we never have to see your overrated ass again, or go to back to Sweden and never bother us again.

 

Dominik Hasek, Detroit Red Wings.

I refused to believe that he’s really retiring, in light of all this Brett Favre drama.  But don’t think I don’t know what you did to get out of Buffalo, Dominik.  Don’t think for a second that we all don’t know.

Daniel Briere, Philadelphia Flyers.  There is nothing hot about a greasy whore.  There isn’t anything hot about spearing a totally innocent guy in the balls, either.

 

Daniel Alfredsson, Ottawa Senators.  We know that your team was sucking majorly, Alfie, but that’s no excuse for firing a puck at Scott Niedermayer’s face.  Getting swept in the first round by a bunch of underaged boys isn’t all that attractive, either.

 

Brian Campbell, Chicago Blackhawks.  There is nothing hot about greed, Soupy.  There isn’t anything hot about your hair with your new ‘hawks jersey either.  I hope you freeze at the Winter Classic this year.

 

 

Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins.  Okay, I am fully aware that I am going to be attacked by a herd of angry Crosby fangirls.  (And angry fanboys)  And please understand, it’s not that I don’t like him.  I do like him.  Actually, I feel really bad for the kid.  He has no friends.  
He has no idea how to do an interview without getting an assistant coach somewhere fired.  I would totally be Sidney’s friend.  I really would.  

All that said, I have to tell you, Sid.  If you have any hope of getting off the Nottie list and onto the Hottie one, you need to stop admitting that Mario talks to you about having safe sex with girls.  Very uncool.

Toni Lydman, Buffalo Sabres.   Just…..no.

 

 

 

Jeff Finger, Toronto Maple Leafs.  

Who are you????

 

 

Tim Connolly, Buffalo Sabres.  I’m really sorry, Timmy.  I do like you, I really do.  It’s just…you’re too, well, fragile for my taste.  Sorry about all this.

 

 

Mike Comrie, New York Islanders.  I am well aware that he is dating Hilary Duff.  I had to wade through a whole mess of pictures of them kissing just to find this one.  But sleeping with your ex-teammate’s wife is not hot.  Infidelity gets you on the Nottie list, Mike.  

 

Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins.  It’s his mugshot.  Need I say more?

 

 

 

Chris Drury, New York Rangers.  A picture’s worth a thousand words.  Chris Drury, however, is not.

 

 


Sean Avery, Dallas Stars.  I don’t care if Marty Brodeur is fat, and I don’t care if he slept with his wife’s sister-in-law.  He is still a totally badass goalie, and therefore Sean should not be waving his stick like an idiot in front of his face.  No wonder Elisha Cuthbert dumped him.

Ray Emery, Russian League.  I know that he technically no longer plays in the NHL, but I figured for him I could make an exception.  He does drugs, fights with his teammates, and had a convicted rapist on his mask.  N-O-T-T-I-E!

 

 

 

And that about sums it up!  I was really surprised with some of the people who ended up on this list; I guess some guys were just so ugly I blocked out their names.

The Offseason Thus Far: The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

July 14, 2008 at 10:15 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Bobbleheads, Brian Campbell, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings, Evgeni Malkin, Jose Theodore, Marc-Andre Fleury, Marian Hossa, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Green, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kane, Patrick Lalime, Paul Gaustad, Pittsburgh Penguins, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Sean Avery, Tampa Bay Lightning, Vincent Lecavalier, Washington Capitals | 3 Comments

Now that I know at least one person will be reading my blog (thanks a billion Corinne!  I promise to read any blog you throw my way!), I feel like blogging a bit more.  Since we are, after all, fourteen days into the free agency period, I thought I’d take a minute to discuss all the good, bad, and confusing of the offseason thus far.

The Good

  • The Sabres resigned Paul Gaustad.  This is good for several reasons.  First of all, he’s great on the faceoffs.  His winning percentage is pretty rad.  Second, as a dedicated member of the Green Team, I’m happy to know someone so committed to saving the environment is sticking around.  Also, I wouldn’t mind if he shoots a few more PSAs for next season.  He’s good friends with Ryan Miller, which should hopefully be a plus as Ryan contemplates whether or not he wants to make a commitment to the Blue and Gold.  And, of course, The Goose is hot.  
  • The Capitals went on a signing spree, locking down Mike “Mohawk” Green for 4 years, Brooks “Ladies’ Man” Laich for 3, and Sergei Fedorov for 1.  Now, I only just became a Capitals diehard around March, but I still got excited when I saw these.  Greenie led all defensemen in scoring, so he can’t be that bad!  And Laich is a ladies’ man.  Who doesn’t love a ladies’ man?  Fedorov was bitchin’ on a line with Mr. Ovechkin and Kozlov.  I was (ba-da-ba-ba-ba!) loving it!
  • Vincent Lecavalier signs with Tampa Bay for 11 years and $85 million, complete with one of those evil no trade clauses.  Vinny is decidedly a hottie, and a darn good player, and Tampa Bay decidedly sucks, so I am happy that I won’t have to worry about a player with actual talent going to a team that doesn’t suck and beating the Sabres.  Although this could pose as a problem in the future for Alex and the rest of the Caps.  Hmmm…
  • Pittsburgh signs Fleury and Malkin, longterm.  I put this on the good list because  pity the Penguins and their fans.  They went through what we Sabres fans went through last year with The Whores, aka Drury and Briere.  A lot of the players seem to hate Therrien, and a lot of the players skipped town at the start of the free agency period (to Tampa Bay, strangely enough.  Watch out, Alex and Co.!),
  • Ted Nolan is fired by the Islanders.  Sucka!!!
  • The Sabres signed Nathan Gerbe, Tim Kennedy, Jhonas Enroth, etc.  This signing spree was encouraging, since I had fallen in love with Nathan Gerbe, everyone’s favorite shortie, the moment I heard about him.
  • Ray Emery had no choice but to sign with some Russian team.  This honestly made my day when I read it.

The Bad

  • Detroit signed Hossa for one year, and they got Ty Conklin to back up Ozzie.  Note to every other team in the NHL: Don’t even bother.  You’re screwed.
  • Brian Campbell signed with Chicago.  I had really enjoyed the Blackhawks last year.  Their winning in no way affected the Sabres’ ultimately unsuccessful run for the playoffs, and Patrick Kane plays for them.  Who doesn’t love Patrick Kane?   But then Soupy had to sign with them, for way too much money.  Not cool, Soupy.  Greed is almost as unattractive as that sloppy red hair of yours.
  • Cristobal Huet signed with Chicago.   I get that he’s not even a really great goalie, but still.  I had gained a soft spot for him in my heart during his stay in Washington, and really liked those, “Hip, hip, Huet!” cheers.
  • Crunchy is not under contract after this season.  (By Crunchy I mean Ryan Miller.  For some reason Miller is referred to as Crunchy across the blogosphere, and who am I to shy away from a trend?)  I know that he sucked this season, but a mediocre goalie is better than no goalie at all.  And what am I gonna do with Little Ryan if he goes and plays for Detroit?
  • Max Afinogenov is still a Sabre.  Seriously, the guy sucks.  He has not scored a goal since 2001.  I would know.  I watch Vintage Games.  
  • Sean Avery signed with Dallas.    I’m going to miss him.  He’s obnoxious, and he’s stupid, but he’s always good for a laugh.  

The Confusing

  • Washington signs Jose Theodore, since Olie got pissed when they traded for Huet and left for Tampa Bay.  (CAPITALS!  BEWARE OF THE LIGHTNING! BEWARE!)  I wasn’t really sure what to think, since Theodore is supposed to be pretty good when he doesn’t have the flu, aka detroitredwingsitis, so I googled him.  And found  this.
  • Patrick Lalime, the Sabres’ newest backup goaltender.  He’s been out in Chicago for God knows how long, so I don’t know what to think.  All I know is that he used to play for Ottawa.  *shudder*
  • Jeff Finger.  Oh, you’ve never heard of him?  Yeah, well neither has anyone else.  I think Cliff Fletcher was feeling all sad about saying goodbye to Mats Sundin and went binge-free agent shopping.
  • I find it hilarious that Sundin was offered $20 million for 2 years in Vancouver.  Mats, just a suggestion: go away.  Please.
  • Brooks Orpik resigned with Pittsburgh.  I was under the impression that he wanted out.  I was also under the impression that the Sabres would try to make an offer for him.  Nope.  Darcy didn’t make him an offer, even though his brother Andrew is a Sabres prospect.  Whatevs, Darcy.  Call me when you lock in Crunchy for life.

Sorry if I didn’t mention any of your favorite offseason moments!

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