What’s All This I’ve Been Hearing About A Condensed Schedule?

October 4, 2009 at 10:48 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Peters, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Chris Butler, Losing Sucks, Montreal Canadiens, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Players, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Steve Montador, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Tim Kennedy, Tyler Myers, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

One of the complaints I’ve been hearing a lot lately is about the condensed schedule we’ll be seeing this year due to the Olympics.  Um, the Sabres don’t play again until Thursday.  That’s not condensed.

Last year, the Sabres beat Montreal in the shootout at the home opener. I was there, and it was one of the most fun games I’ve ever been to just because of the excitement and the fact that after a disappointing season, they started off the new year by winning.

This year, the Sabres lost to Montreal in overtime.  It was a pretty fluky goal, and it was just the first game of the season, and the Sabres still got a point, but I’m disappointed.  Ryan Miller seemed positively chipper about the game (oh, how I have missed Ryan Miller post game interviews), and while there were definitely some positives, the fact still remains that after Timmy scored a power play goal they didn’t get any offense going.  (Um, did Thomas Vanek do ANYTHING last night?  At all?)  The grit was definitely there – especially Timmy K, sticking up for hisself!! – but I expected a little more from the offense.  That’s all.  I just don’t want the Sabres to fall into bad habits, like that one they had last year of being the better team on the ice and then losing.  That habit was supremely annoying.

One thing I was really impressed with, however, was Tyler Myers.  And not just because he reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite.  (“Yeah, I had fun.  God.“)  He was playing in all sorts of situations and I didn’t see him making any glaring mistakes.  I thought he played really well for a 19 year-old making his NHL debut.  There’s no way Lindy can send him back to juniors.

It hurt me that Sir Christopher was in front of Miller for Montreal’s game winning goal.

It seemed to me like Steve Montador got a lot of ice time.

Ryan Miller looked pretty good for most of last night.  So did Carey Price.

Petey got all sorts of fighting-related penalties in his debut with the Devils.

Don Cherry cracked me up last night.  Last year he and I didn’t get along very well, but I decided to give him a second chance this season and he hasn’t blown it yet.

I hope Buffalo beats Phoenix on Thursday, especially since I will be skipping Jim and Pam’s wedding to watch them.

BROOKS GOT THE HARD HAT! The Caps game was pretty sweet, what with five players scoring six goals and Alexander being a badass and getting the scoring started straightaway.  The Monster wasn’t all that impressive, in my opinion.  This is what I like to see, Washington.  But let’s not see the brainfart that was the third period again.

Two things from Brooks’s interview:

1.)  Notice GMGM wandering around in the background not once, but TWICE!  First at the 58 second mark, the next time at the 2:10 mark.  You can also see Ted walking around at the 1:22 mark.  I love when people are randomly wandering around in the background during interviews so much.

2.)  Which player is that hanging out with a baby at the 2:02 mark?  I can’t really tell.  Is it Mo the Second?  It slightly resembles him, but I can’t say for certain.

We have to wait until Thursday for the Sabres to take on Phoenix, but on Thursday Philadelphia is playing Washington.  That’s going to be a really good game, especially since Ray Emery decided to make it seem like his time in Russia actually did reform him.

Toni….Lydman?!??!?!!

March 29, 2009 at 9:21 am | Posted in Atlanta Thrashers, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Ilya Kovalchuk, Jason Pominville, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Ryan Miller, Toni Lydman, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

I do not care if the Sabres don’t make the playoffs this year.  Toni Lydman scoring the only goal of the shootout is officially my Sabres Highlight of the Year.  I wish you could have seen me when Toni came over the boards.  I had been lying on the couch and literally sat up and threw my hands over my face.  I am not kidding.  Then I cursed the hockey gods.  Then Toni scored and I cracked up.  FYI, Toni has never missed a shootout goal in his career.

After Pommer missed on his attempt I saw him say the F-word.  Jason, that kind of language is NOT ALLOWED.  I am WASHING YOUR MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP.

Miller stopped every single shot in the shootout.  I’m so glad I wore my Miller shirt yesterday.  We were watching the HNiC pre-game show and I found it quite interesting when they showed Ryan and Carey getting ready.  Carey had a really tight wife beater that appeared to be made of under-armor material.  It showed off his tanned, muscular arms quite nicely.  Ryan had one of his baggy Sabres hoodies on.  He is so the emo kid on the team.

If there aren’t any suspensions after that hit on Patty I’ll personally start a riot.  That is a DANGEOUS HIT TO THE HEAD, NHL.  GET ON IT.

I’m pretty sure Buffalo got called 18 times for “playing against Montreal” last night.  That’s the most popular penalty in the NHL right now.  Tampa Bay got called for it a ton of times on Thursday.

Goosie got a Gordie Howe Hat Trick on Friday?  Sweet!

I would just like to let everyone know that the Atlanta Thrashers won 6-3 last night after trailing to Ottawa.  I was on the phone with my mom when they scored the sixth goal on the power play and I dropped the phone and yelped excitedly.  Ilya got his fortieth goal!!!

I still don’t believe that the Sabres will make the playoffs (although if they won both games of a back-to-back thanks to Toni Lydman, anything is possible), but I do feel myself warming to them again.  I’ve always loved them, but now I can like them again.

Sorry Ladies, My Mom Just Claimed The New Trendy Euro Sabre

March 5, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Posted in Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Dominic Moore, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Get Yer Paws Off My Man, Happy!!, Jaroslav Spacek, Maxim Afinogenov, Mikael Tellqvist, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Patrick Lalime, Paul Gaustad, Trendy Euro Sabres, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

Scene:  Frostee and Frostee’s mom are lounging around watching the third period of the Sabres game.  Frostee is sad that Ales has left her, but is thrilled that the Sabres are actually winning. 

Frostee:  I’m not quite sure which part of tonight I love better, Goosie with his two goals or my little caveman with one.  If they don’t re-sign him I’ll kill myself.

Frostee’s Mom [who is half-asleep]:  Mhmmm.

Frostee:  But now I have to find a new Trendy Euro Sabre.  How am I supposed to do this?  It’s so difficult.  I need a man who designs hats and probably has the same drink preferences of a 21 year-old girl!!!!

The TV shows us Mikael Tellqvist, Trade Deadline Day acquisition of the Buffalo Sabres.  He is standing in the airport wearing a black jacket and a goofy white scarf that is sticking out the way scarves do when they’re not quite long enough to be wound around your neck.  Next to him on the ground is a stack of goalie sticks. [But seriously, guys, is the only thing players bring when they first come to their new teams sticks?  All Moore and Tellqvist had were abundances of hockey sticks.  There will be no shortage in Buffalo]  He has a huge grin on his face.

Frostee:  Oh my God.  I found my new Trendy Euro Sabre.

Frostee’s Mom:  WHO is THAT?  He is BEAUTIFUL.

Frostee:  It’s my new Trendy Euro Sabre!  Damn, now I’m attached.  I can’t attach myself to a rental.

Frostee’s Mom:  Oh my goodness, looks like Teppo’s got some competition!

Montreal scores with a minute left.

Frostee: NO!!!  Now all Lala gets is the Ryan Miller Shutout!  This is terrible.  If any goalie in the entire NHL deserves a shutout right now it is him.

Frostee’s Mom:  Poor guy.  Can they show us Tellqvist again?

I kind of love my mother.  She may or may not be the funniest person I know.

Last night’s Sabres game?  Fantastic.  All the right things happened.  Max was playing like a man possessed.  Montreal is probably wondering how long until Halak is feeling better.

Since neither one has played for the Sabres yet and I can’t judge their on-ice skills, I have no problem with saying that both of the players the Sabres traded for yesterday are kind of attractive.  Heh.  This could get interesting.

I Swear, He Does It Just To Bug Me

February 19, 2009 at 9:54 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Montreal Canadiens, Nathan Gerbe, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Paul Gaustad, Philadelphia Flyers, Randomness, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a comment

(I’m sorry, but I can’t link you to anything in this post.  I don’t trust this connection and don’t want it to stop working again.)

So, last night the Caps played the Habs.  The Canadiens seem to be having some problems and I was really counting on the Capitals to beat them.  As I am in this Center Ice-less wasteland they called South Carolina, Anne and Clare kept me updated on the game via Twitter because they’re awesome.  I knew right away that Alex scored a “sick goal” (it’s amazing.  Go somewhere and watch it.).  When Steckel tied it up near the end of regulation I heard about it.  They also, however, let me know when something bad happened.  They let me know when Alex got hurt.

Dear Readers, I realize that Alex is made of steel just as you do, but I still freak out when he gets hurt.  During that Boston game when he went shoulder-first into the boards I cried.  When I got the Twitter texts telling me that Alex had blocked a shot and appeared to be in pain, I started running around in circles in my room and completely ignored “Mamma Mia!” (When there’s no hockey on I watch musicals, because it’s not like there’s anything else to do)  Then they told me that he was okay and was back playing.

Seriously, Alex?  You KNOW I worry when you get hurt!  He’s just like those boys who always show off and try to appear tough to impress girls.  Alex, I’m already quite impressed by your hockey skillz.  Getting hurt is SO unnecessary.  Please stop doing it.  Thank you.

If you want to watch something really cute, head on over to the Capitals’ website and watch the interview with Nick Backstrom.  There’s just something about that boy.

Okay, on to the Sabres.  

GERBE GOT SENT BACK DOWN?!?!?!  NO!!!!!  This is TERRIBLE!!!  I love my darling little Gerbe.  I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing he could do to make me hate him, and now he’s back in Portland?  Blast.

Montreal got one point last night and the Rangers got two, so it’s critical that Buffalo wins tonight’s game.  We’ll be watching it at the bar.

Frostee’s Brother:  Are we going to actually sit at the bar or sit at one of the tables?

Frostee:  If that hot bartender is there we’ll be sitting at the bar.

I hear whispers that Goose will be coming back tonight, and all I can say about that is “YAY it is about time.”  We need him and his energy.  

Lady, if you are going to sit at the table next to me with your laptop then you are going to have to turn off the sound.  I put in earbuds when I watched the interviews.  I do not need to hear all of your obnoxiously loud notifications.

Our waiter yesterday at lunch was a younger, stockier, scruffier, insanely hotter version of Mike Modano.  It was awesome.   

The Sabres really need to win tonight because I’ll be spending all day reading Life and Death in Shanghai and it’s a terrible book and it always puts me in a bad mood.  And because I hate Philadelphia.  The Toronto game on Tuesday was quite enjoyable (although the broadcast wasn’t.  We got Joe but we didn’t get Chris, they had no idea how to pronounce the players’ names, and all they could talk about was Ryan Miller going to Michigan State.  I am SO heckling Chris Simpson when I’m at the Anaheim game.) and I’m hoping they can carry that momentum over tonight.

P.S. I finally found the picture that got all those people searching “carey price drunk.”  Apparently I promote Carey Price and drinking because I got hit a thousand times yesterday by people searching for that.  Good grief.

I’m Looking Forward To Tonight

February 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Carey Price, Happy!!, Mike Green, Paul Gaustad, Tim Connolly, What Is Up With All These Injuries? | 2 Comments

Tonight, for the very first time since Christmas Break, I will be able to sit down in front of the television and watch the Sabres game in its entirety without doing anything else.  I won’t be frantically trying to catch up on reading and I won’t be studying for tests.  I will be sitting and watching and screaming and cheering.  (Okay, so I’ll have to leave at the first intermission to let the dog I’m pet-sitting out, but that’s it!)  I am so excited.  You have no idea.  

Mike Milbury called Timmy a “dink.”  Well, Mike will say what Mike wants to say.  I’m sure we all remember those “dog” comments from the playoffs last spring.  Whatever.  I agree with Anne and Cari, that Timmy definitely is a dink but he’s our dink and for that we love him.

Cari texted me today when I was doing test corrections (I’m sick of taking tests and I’m sick of doing the corrections for the aforementioned tests) to inform me that Paul will not be participating in tonight’s game.  Noo!  Paul!  

At least it’s not Timmy.

My phone battery died on me.  

I only saw the last seven minutes of the Caps game yesterday, but holy crap was Jonathan Quick a BEAST.  He stole that game, plain and simple.  I can not believe he managed to hold off the Caps at the end, because they were definitely putting on the pressure.

Dear Alex,

Congrats on your 200th career goal!  Huge milestone.  I’m so proud of you.  

Um, so, I’m guessing there wasn’t any way you could wait literally another ten seconds to score it?  Because by the time I walked in after showering they had just finished showing the reply.  Normally this wouldn’t bother me but since we weren’t watching the TV with the DVR box I couldn’t remind.  

With Love,

Frostee

Dear Mike Green,

You are a crazy goal scoring fool.  I love it.  And while I realize you had a great scoring chance right at the end, the show of team support that was displayed when Sergei gave you a hug and skating off the ice talking to you and, er, cuddling (?) with you was quite heartwarming.

I also just wanted to let you know that last night I started calling you Michael.  I have no logical explanation for it.  If for some reason your real name isn’t actually Michael (I have yet to meet someone called Mike who isn’t actually a Michael, FYI), well, then, just deal with it.

With Love,

Frostee

The Habs got a win over Pittsburgh on Tuesday, but other than that they haven’t exactly been the best team over the past few games.  The game tonight is huge because the Sabres need the points in the standings and they could gain ground on Montreal.  I have a really bad feeling about tomorrow night’s game, so getting two points tonight is critical.

I get the feeling that after tonight’s game the number of hits I receive for people searching “carey price drunk” will increase even more.  I really don’t understand how I get so many hits from that search.  Have I ever mentioned Carey and drinking in the same post before now?

Things That Are Ridiculous And/Or Funny

January 26, 2009 at 4:10 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Alexei Kovalev, All Star Game, Brian Engblom's Hair, Carey Price, Evgeni Malkin, Players, Randomness, Thomas Vanek | 2 Comments
  • The final score last night.  12-11?  For reals?  Yikes.  We actually missed the first half of the third period, because, hello!, the SAG Awards were on.  I went 10-for-10.  During the Golden Globes, I predicted the correct winner for every single category.  It’s crazy, man.  But, uh, anyways, back to the All Star Game.  Heh.  I don’t know why I even watch it.  Those poor goalies don’t try to stop the puck half the time.  It’s all ridiculous and high-scoring.  I love high-scoring games, but not when the defense is non-existent.  I would rather see the Sabres score ten goals in one game while the opposing team’s defensemen scramble around trying to look like they’re actually doing something.
  • Gary Bettman.  Did everyone catch right near the end when they showed him coming down to ice level?  Because when he stood up on his tip-toes because he couldn’t see around the people on to the ice, it might have been the funniest moment all night.
  • Props to the Montreal fans for booing him, by the way.
  • I can’t believe they actually went to a shootout last night.  I figured one of the goalies would just let a puck in right at the end.
  • I also can’t believe that Alex scored in the shootout.  I love the guy, and I certainly see him play a lot, but that was the honest to goodness first time I ever saw him score in a shootout.  I always wondered what it would look like…
  • Not really funny or ridiculous, but I thought Kovalev as MVP was a good decision.  He got two goals, scored in the shootout, was the captain, and is a Montreal player.  The fans would have gone absolutely bonkers if a Montreal player hadn’t been named MVP, but I had no problems with  Kovalev being chosen.
  • Evgeni Malkin’s English.
  • Remember back over the summer when I couldn’t decide if I loved Malkin or not, and then I was all, “Oh HELL no” after finding out he and Alex were ex-besties?  Well, I’m back to a state of confusion.  They were all cuddly and “I love you” over the weekend (dinner dates?  Geno being the first one to congratulate Alex after the shootout? the Breakaway Challenge?), but my friend Kristen thinks they’re going to go back to hating each other.  I hope they do, because then I would just be able to hate Malkin in a show of solidarity.  I mean, Malkin’s a total man-skank and his teeth are screwy and he’s beating everyone in the points race and he plays for the Penguins, but at the same time he’s kind of adorable.  You just want to make him cookies and teach him proper English.
  • A penalty was actually called.  I bet the referee forgot it was an All Star Game.
  • How did no one score on that power play?  I thought these were the best of the best.
  • It’s really cute how my Latin teacher thinks we’ll actually read 80 pages in our review book this week.  We’ve already learned everything covered in it, according to her.
  • I can not believe Carey Price actually called his mom.  That made my night.
  • I’m pretty sure Brian Engblom broke the record for saying a player has smooth hands the most times in one game.
  • One of my teachers in school.  We kind of hate this teacher because he’s absolutely terrible, has no idea what he’s talking about, and is a total asshole on top of it all.  One of my friends thinks he got the honors position because we’re the gifted kids and can figure it out on our own.  Even the parents think he’s a jerk.  He’s also a total jock, so instead of teaching he likes to spend his time talking with the jocks in the class.  Apparently, if we talk amongst ourselves while he’s talking to kids, we’re “rude.”  It’s really funny.  He tells all the other teachers in the school how rude we are, writes it on the instruction sheets for the subs (last month a sub actually told us at the beginning of class, “Yes, your teacher tells me you are the rudest class he has ever taught.”), and even tells his other class at our level how rude we are.  He decided that the fact that he let us pick our own seats was the reason we were so rude, so he decided to put us in alphabetical order today.  Only problem is, the chatty kids are all next to each other when he does that.  Jill and Maggie are next to each other in one row, Justine is in front of me and Ally’s to the side of us in the other, Gena and Leah are both next to the window.  He realized this and then spent the next fifteen minutes trying to separate us all so that we couldn’t talk.  It was kind of one of those, “you had to be there” moments, but if you had been there you would have been cracking up.  Andrew and I were.  It was so ridiculously funny.  I can’t believe he actually did it.  Now I’m right next to the door and get to leave the class first.  It’s quite nice.
  • This blog got hit about eight kazillion times yesterday, and approximately four kazillion of those hits were on my post from yesterday.  Hmm.  That’s kind of cool.
  • The Savard-Ovechkin-Chara commercial.  “This guy can’t beat me.  This guy can’t beat me either.”
  • I’m actually probably going to watch the West Coast games this week.  It’s quite irresponsible of me, but then again, so is only studying for one of the exams I have.  I haven’t seen the Sabres in ages, and I’m sort of starting to miss them.
  • I still can’t stop thinking about Thomas Vanek’s hair.  I think he let his son do it for him.

It WAS Funny! I DID Laugh! (#55, #56)

January 25, 2009 at 8:48 am | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, All Star Game, Carey Price, Evgeni Malkin, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Happy!!, Patrick Kane, Players, Thomas Vanek, Tim Thomas, Twins Named Lundqvist, Zdeno Chara | 7 Comments

From the red carpet, which DID NOT disappoint:

Best interview of the year, right there:

Gary (That’s his name, right?): So, Alex, do you know what you’re going to do tonight?

Alex  (Looking SPECTACULAR in his Dolce suit and red tie): Yeah.  It’s gonna be funny. 

Gary  (Looking supremely confused):  Uh-huh.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, with Alex-

Alex:  Funny.  Fun.  You’re gonna laugh.

Our kids will be so articulate.  It’s ridiculous.  I’m positively giddy with the thought of it.

  • Reader Award to anyone who can find me a hockey player with an ugly kid.  I am so in love with hockey players’ children, it’s not even funny.  TimTom’s daughter, with her pink jacket and fur-trimmed hood, clutching his hand, positively killed me.  Adorable. 
  • Thomas Vanek, what the FUCK did you do to your hair?
  • Ryan Getzlaf was WORKING that tie.
  • Henrik Lundqvist is so pretty.  
  • I have officially fallen in love with Carey Price.  There is nothing that boy man could do to make me stop loving him.  That suit?  The tie/shirt combo?  Saying he’s looking pretty good for a boy from the farm?  LOVE!
  • Poor Pkane appears to be suffering from a breakout.  Aw.  Pkane, might I suggest Biore?
  • Speaking of Patty, are he and Jonathan Toews now interchangeable?
  • Whoa.  Jarome Iginla, where have you been all my life?
  • Ditto for Dan Boyle.
  • Zdeno Chara, what’s up with that scarf?

From the Superskillz:

84439672Yeah.  I know.

Just a warning, every single post on this  blog might revolve around this picture from now on.  I haven’t decided yet.

 

Um, does this picture (and the Twitter updates?) mean that Alex and Evgeni actually ARE friends again?  Because screw pressure from the Russian media.  You don’t do this unless the guy is your BFF.

84439600

Why Yes, I DID Rewind Multiple Times (#54)

January 24, 2009 at 9:51 am | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, All Star Game, Carey Price, Evgeni Malkin, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Patrick Kane, Sidney Crosby | Leave a comment
  • Dear Readers, I have documented before how the immortal words “Why you quit?” have had a serious impact on my life.  I love Alex for saying them, and that quote is definitely in the top five of my favorite Alex quotes.  Last night, as soon as my parents left and I decided I was due for a “study break,” I rushed over to the TV and rewound to see if they interviewed Alex earlier.  The man – whose name I STILL can’t remember! – did in fact interview him, and the first thing he brought up was The Interview, in Dallas two years ago.  Dear Readers, ALEX mentioned up how he had told the man he would talk to George about getting him a coaching job for the Caps, and the man reminisced about teaching Alex that coaches are fired and that they don’t quit.  I…just…love him.
  • Pkane was looking AWESOME, if I do say so myself.  I wouldn’t mind seeing him get a little trim, though.  And Man Whose Name I Can’t Remember, I agree with you wholeheartedly.  Pkane and Mr. Toes Toews have beautiful faces.
  • Oh Sid.  You’re such a good person.  You knew the minute you dropped out that you would still come up to Montreal, but that you didn’t want to steal any of the attention from the other players.  He has to realize that merely by being there he’s stealing attention.  He is, after all, Sidney Crosby.  And you also bashed two of the best players in the NHL.  It may have been inadvertent, but was I the only one who got the feeling that he was secretly thinking, “Ha, I am Sidney Crosby, the master of hockey, and I come to All Star games even when I’m hurt.  Unlike those weak Red Wings”?
  • Carey Price is hot.  Like, really, really hot.  Smokin’ hot.  I knew there was a reason I picked him as my Playoffs Boyfriend in the second round last year.  (Hey, I warned you I would get fangirl-y this weekend)
  • Yeah.  Sure.  I refuse to believe that the biggest bitch fight since Serena and Blair, season one, is over.  It would be just like the NHL/Russian newspapers to make it seem like their two Russian stars are once again BFFs.  I, for one, think it’s much more interesting when they’re at each other’s throats.
  • I really think it’s stupid that the NHL makes such a big deal about the All Star Game.  In the long run, wouldn’t they rather have their star players healthy for the playoffs and the second half of the season?  Yeesh.  Don’t make them sit a game.
  • From what they’ve shown on the NHL Network so far, it looks like Montreal did a great job getting ready for the weekend.  All those interactive games are like the ones they have at the Hall of Fame in Toronto, and they’re a lot of fun.  Props to the batshit crazy fans of Montreal for putting on a good party.
  • I have a paper cut right on the top of my left pointer finger and it hurts to do EVERYTHING.  Typing this right now is killing me.  The sacrifices I make for you people…
  • Studying?  Is not fun.  I would much rather watch Mamma Mia! six times and then watch the All Star coverage.

The Hotties and Notties of the NHL

July 16, 2008 at 6:54 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Peters, Brooks Laich, Carey Price, Derek Roy, Evgeni Malkin, Evgeni Nabokov, Henrik Zetterberg, Jason Pominville, Jason Spezza, Marc-Andre Fleury, Mike Green, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kaleta, Patrick Kane, Paul Gaustad, Rick DiPietro, Ryan Miller, Vincent Lecavalier | 3 Comments

Since I finally finished Native Son last night, I decided to reward myself with starting this up.  There are many players in the NHL, some hotter than others.  Today, we’ll be taking a look at the 20 hottest players, or Hotties, and tomorrow (or whenever I get to it) we will be examining the Notties.  

The Hotties (in no particular order)

Brooks Laich, Washington Capitals.  You know he’s a Hottie when my mom wanders in during a playoff game intermission interview and goes, “Oh, who’s that?  He’s pretty hot.”  Not only is he a Hottie, he knows it.  Why else would his teammates vote him the biggest ladies’ man?

 

Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings.  He’s Swedish.  He’s a hell of a hockey player, and he won the Conn Smythe this year!  I may have been rooting for Pittsburgh, but I still didn’t mind when Henrik decided to score a goal.

 

Paul Gaustad, Buffalo Sabres.  Goose isn’t just some average-joe, superficial Hottie.  Saving the environment and convincing kids to read is hot.  Keep up the good work Goose, and please feel free to make a few more PSAs next year.

 

Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks.  Let me make myself clear.  I am not putting him on here because he’s a Buffalo boy.  He is most certainly Hottie material, especially now that his acne cleared up.  Innocence can be hot, especially when a kid has no problem going on television and talking about how he tapes his stick.

 

Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins.  He’s really not that bad to look at, now that he ditched those obnoxious yellow pads.  Listen to him talk for five minutes, and I guarantee you will consider him a Hottie.

 

 

Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay Lightning.  Winning the Stanley Cup is hot.  So is signing an 11-year deal with a team that sucks, even if they do look like they might be a semi-threat this year.

 

 

Okay, so, technically Ryan isn’t in the NHL.  Yet.  But what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t include him on one of my lists?  And it’s not like he’s a *shudder* Nottie!

 

 

Jason Pominville, Buffalo Sabres.  I know, I know.  Pommerdoodle is not exactly a Hottie.  But he’s adorable, kind of like a puppy.  So on the Hottie list he stays.

 

Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals.  You can complain and bitch all you want about how Ovechkin is an ugly fuck and how he’s a geeky emo loser and all that shit.  He’s a Hottie, and deep down you know it.  If it isn’t his killer eyes, then it’s his sense of humor and easy laugh.  And the way he puts up with Mike Milbury’s shit.

Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins.  Let me make this quite clear: I do not like the Penguins.  I like Fleury’s accent, and that their mascot can’t walk on ice without falling, and that’s about it.  However, Hottie list isn’t discriminatory, and therefore Geno makes the cut.  I was a little bit discouraged, however, when I saw how much he likes pda, and I became downright concerned when i saw this.  Making out with drunk, underaged teammates is not cool, Evgeni.  Not cool at all.  Watch yourself.

Evgeni Nabokov, San Jose Sharks.  (I really seem to like the Russians, huh?)  I don’t know.  He’s just adorable.  And he looks a lot like Benjamin Mckenzie.  

 

 

Rick DiPietro, New York Islanders.  His hips suck, and he needs to watch his mouth when he’s mic’d up on television, but while he might not be easy on the ears, he’s definitely easy on the eyes.  Keep it up, Pretty Ricky!

 

Carey Price, Montreal Canadiens.  He’s adorable, and so sweet and young and innocent.  I was rooting for him in the playoffs, and it was kinda sad to see the poor kid collapse under the pressure.  I’m sure that with time, he’ll be a great, Hottie goaltender.

Jason Spezza, Ottawa Senators.  Jason, I hate you.  I hate you for playing for the Senators.  I hate you for having that lopsided grin and that cute face.  I hate you for saying that you would pose for Playgirl for free.  I hate you.

Cruncy Miller, Buffalo Sabres.  Crunchy Miller is not a Hottie.  His eyebrows are uneven, and it has actually started to bug me.  But his blog is hilarious, his analytical interviews are always enjoyable, and his sense of style questionable.  

 

Andrew Peters, Buffalo Sabres.  Petey isn’t really a Hottie on the outside, but a great sense of humor is quite hot.  So is a questionable sexuality.  Carry on, Petey.

 

Derek Roy, Buffalo Sabres.  Petey’s better half may be a diver, but he’s a hot one.  He really stepped his game up this year, and that’s hot.  

 

 

Nathan Gerbe, Buffalo Sabres/ Rochester Americans.  Forget that he was a runner-up for the Hobey Baker, that his team won the Frozen Four and his was the MVP, and led everyone in scoring (too lazy to fact-check).  He’s short.  And his sings Rascal Flatts in the locker room.  Hottie!!

Patrick Kaleta, Buffalo Sabres/ Rochester Americans.  He’s a homeboy!  (But we are ignoring the fact that he played at St. Francis)  Being a Buffalo fan, I love his hard-hitting style.  The coaches had to tell him to take it down a notch during the prospect camp!  He lives at home.  His first NHL goal was overshadowed by Richard Zednik nearly being beheaded.  Patrick Kaleta, you are a Hottie.

Mike Green, Washington Capitals.  Last, but certainly not least, Mike Green shows off his Hottie stuff by getting playoff mohawks and leading defensemen in goals.  And, of course, teddy bears are hot.

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