I really don’t even care that much that the Caps lost last night. It would happen eventually, and the game was so entertaining that it made up for the final score.
I’m pretty sure whenever Alex gets close to fighting, the referees, coaches, and any other NHL personnel in attendance collectively think to themselves, “Oh crap, there go the gloves. Get him the heck out of there.”
Matt Bradley is a hero. Plain and simple.
I am a little mad, however, that Alex is now FOUR back in the goals race. That’s a lot of ground to make up, young man. Get your ass in gear.
He also happened to win a faceoff last night. It was…mindblowing, to say the least.
Lars Nicklas’s roughing penalty (or maybe boarding, I don’t remember what they ended up calling it) was 17 different kinds of cute. Lookit him, playing physical!
The Caps play again tonight, but the Sabres don’t. This layoff is getting a little annoying.
Word on the street is that our own Drew Stafford has signed a contract extension, but since the Sabres haven’t confirmed it yet and I haven’t gotten a text yet, I’m not going to comment on it.
Other than that they better not be overpaying the inconsistent little jerk.
I’ve been back to school for two whole days…and I’ve already started my count down till next summer. Heh. The best part so far was in our Welcome Back assembly when they told us that the best way we can get involved is by dressing up for Halloween and Homecoming week. Wow, I never knew giving back to your school was so easy.
I was going to put up my Sabres preview this weekend, but I think I’ll wait and post it next weekend. Sorry to let you all down.
Alexander is returning to the US of A tomorrow, which is very exciting. Supposedly Lars is already back, which is also very exciting. On Wednesday, Alex will be in the Big Apple to promote his video game. He’ll be arriving by zamboni. Yes, I know, he can’t drive. It is for this reason that my mother suggested I blow off school and we drive on down, because apparently even she would drive seven hours and then turn right back around if it meant seeing Alex driving an ice-resurfacer down the streets of New York. Alas, I have two tests on Wednesday and I’m babysitting that night, so I shall be unable to go see him. Blast.
The hockey game I want to go to in DC is the Inaugural Club Scarlet Night. Methinks that would be an excellent game to be at.
I’m not liking the Sabres’ chances this year.
Zachity Zach!! Oh, how I have missed thee. And did you get a haircut? (As I was writing this post, I realized that I don’t have a Zach Bogosian tag. What the HELL is wrong with me??)
Okay, which part of this video is the best part? David showing how to play safely by showing up in flipflops? David discussing his career shootout stats against Slapshot? I can’t decide. But oh, how I love David. You’re going to be so badass this year.
Hands off, ladies. He’s spoken for. (It took me a really long time to get that link to work because the video was in Russian. Lots of guessing and random clicking involved.)
And finally, this one:
(This was the only video I could actually embed.)
Ha. Hahaha. Oh, Cabbie. You know how to make me LOL. You really do.
Ryan, thanks for being the first to just come out and admit that yes, you’ve done yoga. There’s no shame in it. Yoga is so great, and you feel so happy and peaceful after. Really. I thought I was going to skip yesterday when I finished.
Joe: “I’ve gotta admit, I’ve gone once or twice.” Joe, just say that you go weekly and that you can’t imagine life without it. We see right through you trying to be all coy. It’s really cute, but we know the truth.
“Are your pores just leaking Grey Goose?” = Best line in the video.
(Author’s note: Trust me, you sweat it out in hot yoga. Like, it pours off you. But I haven’t gotten lightheaded yet.)
Don’t fight it, Joe. We know you were looking.
Jonny, you are SUCH a typical 21 year-old. “I had to!”
Joe Thornton seriously cracks me up.
So that’s about it. I realize that this post had absolutely no pattern or reasoning behind it. But that’s okay.
Scene: Frostee and Frostee’s mom are lounging around watching the third period of the Sabres game. Frostee is sad that Ales has left her, but is thrilled that the Sabres are actually winning.
Frostee: I’m not quite sure which part of tonight I love better, Goosie with his two goals or my little caveman with one. If they don’t re-sign him I’ll kill myself.
Frostee’s Mom [who is half-asleep]: Mhmmm.
Frostee: But now I have to find a new Trendy Euro Sabre. How am I supposed to do this? It’s so difficult. I need a man who designs hats and probably has the same drink preferences of a 21 year-old girl!!!!
The TV shows us Mikael Tellqvist, Trade Deadline Day acquisition of the Buffalo Sabres. He is standing in the airport wearing a black jacket and a goofy white scarf that is sticking out the way scarves do when they’re not quite long enough to be wound around your neck. Next to him on the ground is a stack of goalie sticks. [But seriously, guys, is the only thing players bring when they first come to their new teams sticks? All Moore and Tellqvist had were abundances of hockey sticks. There will be no shortage in Buffalo] He has a huge grin on his face.
Frostee: Oh my God. I found my new Trendy Euro Sabre.
Frostee’s Mom: WHO is THAT? He is BEAUTIFUL.
Frostee: It’s my new Trendy Euro Sabre! Damn, now I’m attached. I can’t attach myself to a rental.
Frostee’s Mom: Oh my goodness, looks like Teppo’s got some competition!
Montreal scores with a minute left.
Frostee: NO!!! Now all Lala gets is the Ryan Miller Shutout! This is terrible. If any goalie in the entire NHL deserves a shutout right now it is him.
Frostee’s Mom: Poor guy. Can they show us Tellqvist again?
I kind of love my mother. She may or may not be the funniest person I know.
Last night’s Sabres game? Fantastic. All the right things happened. Max was playing like a man possessed. Montreal is probably wondering how long until Halak is feeling better.
Since neither one has played for the Sabres yet and I can’t judge their on-ice skills, I have no problem with saying that both of the players the Sabres traded for yesterday are kind of attractive. Heh. This could get interesting.
Guys, I don’t want to overexcite you, but right now, at this very minute, Mama Ovechkin is IN THE UNITED STATES. She is in the SAME country we are. She is a seven-hour drive, 45-minute flight from where I am sitting right this very minute. I’m so excited that she’s here for a visit that I’m not even all that mad about her watching the game with Alex’s new girlfriend.
Dear Ryan Miller’s Ankle,
Dear Buffalo Sabres,
As you know, tomorrow is my birthday (checks should be made out to Frostee, gift cards should be to either Forever 21 or the iTunes Store, and cold hard cash is always appreciated). It also happens to be the night you play the Anaheim Ducks. I am trying to take a positive attitude about this whole thing, but I’ll be honest. It’s not easy.
First there’s the matter of this whole Miller-having-a-high-ankle-sprain thing. Being raised by hockey fans, there were two things I have been taught my entire life. The first is that the Philadelphia Flyers are bad and should be openly loathed (hey, my dad grew up going to Rangers and Islanders games). The second is that high ankle sprains are probably one of the worst injuries hockey players could get. Groin injuries are also pretty bad. See, Miller is most likely out until the end of the season unless the hockey gods do us a solid and throw a miracle our way. Patrick Lalime is now your starting goaltender and you called up Jhonas Enroth today. I’ve given this a lot of thought, and there are two possible outcomes from this scenario:
1) You, the Buffalo Sabres, band together in an incredible show of team unity and play in front of Patty as you have never played before, guiding yourselves into the playoffs.
2) You completely implode and get an early summer for the second year in a row.
I’m trying to be optimistic about all this, Sabres, I really am. It’s just that the way you depend on Ryan Miller to always save your collective asses and the way you suck in front of Lala has me worried. Who knows. Maybe we dedicated fans will be rewarded with Outcome #1. Maybe we won’t.
Then there’s the matter of your birthday greetings policy. As you know, people put birthday wishes up on the jumbotron at games. Yesterday when we were all preparing lunch, my dad came downstairs and told me that he’s really sorry, but HSBC has a policy that you have to call at least three days in advance to get a birthday greeting. As he called only two days in advance, there would be no special surprise for me. I actually can not tell you how devastated I was to hear this.
So, Sabres, I really need you to win this game tomorrow. I haven’t been to a good game since November 1. I may have had fun at the one at the end of December, but that’s because I liked the other team enough to overlook the fact that you apparently sucked balls. The one in the middle of December was pretty bad too. Then there’s also the matter of the critical two points you could pick up. And, of course, a win on my birthday would be simply marvelous.
- Tom Renney got fired. It was only a matter of time.
- The Alex Ovechkin/Sidney Crosby bitch fight made ESPN this morning. Personally, I thought the wave was amusing. And personally, I’m going to side with Alex and Bruce and the rest of the Washington Capitals. Sid kind of needed to shut his mouth yesterday. Personally, I prefer Alex’s playing style to Sidney’s because I love me a man who can score goals AND throw hits. A friend of mine is a Penguins/Crosby fan and even she admitted to me today that he’s kind of a wuss. Personally, I think it’s really funny how none of the Penguins want to stick up for Crosby. Personally, I’m just glad the Caps won.
- I told my mother that if she went with me to the game tomorrow night we would have to go down during the pre-game skate and shout inappropriate things at Ryan Getzlaf, but since it’s looking like Papa Frostee will be going with me instead, we’ll just heckle Chris Simpson.
- I won’t go into details, because the details are hilarious but time-consuming, but there’s this one kid who’s been in several of my classes for the past few years. He’s a total creeper in addition to being incredibly rude. He does this weird thing where he’ll get a crush on a girl and just follow her around for several days. He back-talks to teachers on a regular basis. He doesn’t like me or any of my friends, and just to prove how nice he is he told us that he would kill us in our sleep. This charming young man also happens to be a Red Wings fan, an insufferable one at that. He thoroughly enjoys trash-talking the Sabres, and when the Wings won the Cup last season we knew he’d be awful to be around. The next day he wore his signed Pavel Datsyuk jersey (I was so jealous) to school, and I informed him that while Candy Corn Head is a great player, I still prefer Mr. Henrik Zetterberg. The kid started screaming at me about how Henrik is probably the most overrated player in the league and he’s not any good and Pavel is easily the best player on the team and the best in the NHL. It was really funny. Now, last week I started getting Facebook Mobile texts informing me that he was trying to add me as a friend on Facebook. Since I, well, don’t like him, I rejected him. Four times. I finally just gave up and added him. Today he commented on a picture I have. Not only does this prove he was Facebook stalking me, but it also confuses me slightly. See, he commented on the picture of me with Mini Alex that I took last year during the playoffs. His comment read, “seriously ovechkin? jk jk jk he’s clearly the best russian player in the league.” Hmm. This is the same kid that informed me in no uncertain terms that Pavel Datsyuk is the best player in the world. I kind of want to shake him and shout, “But what about PAVEL?!??! You told me PAVEL! was the BEST PLAYER in the WORLD!”
- Speaking of Alex, I’m choosing to ignore that picture of him over at Puck Daddy.
- Alexander Semin is following me on Twitter. This is kind of awesome.
- TV is back skating with the team. Woo!
- COMPLETELY unrelated to hockey, but what do you think the chances are of my teacher figuring out I made up 100% of what I wrote about the North Korean economy? There was nothing on the websites she told us to use. I bullshit on projects regularly, but this is just plan making stuff up. Thank goodness we only have give the website.
(check out the update at the bottom)
And that is why I’m going to be honest with you. I did not watch the Sabres game last night, Dear Readers. I didn’t. And you know why? Because EVERY SINGLE TIME I FLIPPED OVER the Sabres were either NOT SCORING ON A SIX MINUTE POWER PLAY or Lala was HANGING OUT IN THE FACE-OFF CIRCLE WHILE CHICAGO PLAYERS WERE SWARMING THE NET or LETTING WACKY-DOODLE GOALS IN. (I don’t know if it’s because he just doesn’t play enough, or if he turned off the game-winning part of his brain over the summer, but Lala has got to change something. Stat.) Maybe the 55 minutes I didn’t watch last night were different, but the five minutes I did see were craptastically bad. I’m kind of glad I didn’t watch, because now I don’t have to talk about the pile of poo that is the Buffalo Sabres. (But, uh, If Rej is hurt, wouldn’t putting Chris Butler back in be the most logical move?)
Maybe the Sabres were trying to punish me for not watching them. That’s kind of stupid on their part, because I made it quite clear that I would watch the more exciting game last night. And while the Caps/Pens game was pretty boring in the first and second period, it was outrageously awesome in the third. Alexxxx scored TWICE to tie Jeff Carter’s league lead, Semie scored, Washington killed off a two minute 5-on-3, Jose wasn’t TOO sucky, Bruce was angry, life was good. My jersey snapped its losing streak in a big way. And Pittsburgh? Not so good at hockey. Evgeni Malkin needs to lay off Alex, though. Everyone thought Alex would be the one trying to grind Geno into the ice, but it was the other way around. I was screaming my head off by the time they finally called that cross-check in the first. I’m kind of intrigued by the whole Crosby injury, merely because I have no idea how the NHL will react if Sid has to miss the All Star Game two years in a row. I wonder who they will use to replace him on the top line! (Frostee’s Dad has a theory that it’ll be Alex Semin, and if for some odd reason that did happen, I think I would die laughing.)
Tonight the Sabres play Dallas. I’m kind of hoping Dallas can be mature about all this, unlike last year when the Sabres made the trip to Big D. Yes, Dallas, we get it. You beat the Sabres in 1999. You won the Stanley Cup. You scored an ILLEGAL GOAL (and people wonder why Buffalo fans bitch about officiating), but you won. Seriously, though, it was ten years ago. Get over it. I’m thinking Miller will be in net? Which would be good, because right now he’s the only player on that team I trust. I’ll most likely watch the whole game tonight, because all the teachers today told us to enjoy our FOUR day weekend, and at the bank a few minutes ago my mom overheard someone who works for the school district say there won’t be school tomorrow. Awesome. I have so much shit to do.
Dear Bruce Boudreau,
Congrats on the win last night, Bruce. You were the better team, and you deserved it. I was just wondering.
Why in the name of God did you bench Chris Clark??
No, no, don’t give me that, “Eric Fehr came back and we needed to scratch a winger” crap. There are oodles of wingers on your team. Chris Clark happens to be the CAPTAIN. Since when do you scratch the CAPTAIN, especially if it has “nothing to do with play”?? This has nothing to do with my love friendship with admiration of Mr. Clark. I just didn’t think benching the captain was something one usually did.
Um, calling the other players in the Shootout Challenge “idiots” was probably not the best idea. Just so you know.
So, remember how after the Bite Game I said how Jarkko must be a Twilight fan? Yeah, well, Sports Illustrated copied me. I was perusing the new issue and when they mentioned the bite, they mentioned that it was very Twilight-esque of him to do that. I should have copy-righted that.
So my dad’s friend stopped by to see if Dad wanted to golf tomorrow. While we were all talking, it came up that his wife and daughter had gone to the Bills game last week with one of her friends and her friend’s daughter. Guess who that friend’s daughter is. Are you ready for this?
Patrick Kane’s girlfriend. I know!!!!
Apparently Patty is doing well, and he bought a really nice condo in downtown Chicago. Guess he didn’t wanna live with the assistant GM anymore. I then informed my dad’s friend that while Pkane’s girlfriend may be a lovely young woman, my grandma is expecting me to marry him, and I can’t let grandma down.
So, yeah. Just thought I’d let you know that Patty is proving he’s a big boy by getting his own place. I’m going to have to go visit him or something.
WTF, Bills? I don’t even know what to say at this point. I think I might have to buy a hat or something. I find myself ignoring the open book in my lap and instead watching you. Why must you torment me like this??!! (If they go 4-0, I am buying a freaking jersey. End of story.)
Okay, so, who found this blog by searching “patrick kane virginity”? Because that is just sick. Searching the internet to find out if Pkane has been deflowered? WTF! Whoever searched that is seriously disturbed. I mean, we all know Patty is saving himself for me.
Hey, Alex. Nice man-bang trim. (my mom walked in when I was getting the link and she just stops and goes, “Oh, God.”)
First of all, I would just like to say that I LOVE Patrick Kane more than words could describe. Crunchy may be my reliable first love, and Ovie may be the one I have wildly inappropriate fantasies about, but at the end of the day (after the aforementioned fantasies), it’s actually Pkane I want to be able to sit down on the couch and watch the news with. I think it would definitely work out between us, because he appears to like to be in charge, and I like to be in charge too so we could challenge each other, we’re both from B-lo (okay, so techincally I’m from Orchard Park, but we’re both Western New Yorkers), he’s hilarious, so he could keep me laughing, and my grandmother loves him almost as much as I do (although his grandparents are quite possibly the only people in all of WNY that my grandma doesn’t know. She used to play bridge with the mayor’s mother, was BFFs with John Stevens’s [remember him? that was the only season of American Idol I ever watched] grandma, and is Ralph Wilson’s neighbor. But, of course, she doesn’t know Mr. and Mrs. Kane Sr.)
The only problem I see is Jonathan Toews. Now, I get that they’re teammates, and I can understand them being good friends. I’m fine with that! What I don’t like is Jonathan trying to get some off my man.
(Once again, NHL videos fuck up my post. How’s that for something new and different?)
Basically, Jonathan totally did that, “I’m going to pretend I’m stretching but actually I’m trying to put my arm around you” trick. And it was NOT appreciated, Jonathan. Stop going along with every single thing Pkane says, and stop trying to put your arm around him. That is MY spot, and I DO NOT appreciate you taking it!!!
BTW, I am watching all these videos when I am supposed to be taking advantage of the empty house to work on my scrapbook. But seriously. Patrick Kane acting like an adorable five year-old, or scrapbook? Oh gee, that’s a toughie.
I think I am basically screwed on this project. Good thing I got a 97.5 on my Guns, Germs, and Steel test, and have an UNWEIGHTED 97 average!!! EEEEE!!!