Picks!/God Bless NBC

May 28, 2010 at 9:14 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Chicago Blackhawks, Frostee Does Predictions!, Hockey Gods, Jonathan Toews, Marian Hossa, Philadelphia Flyers, Players, Ryan Miller | Leave a comment

I figure we’ve got plenty of time so I won’t talking about the Stupid F***ing Ice Bowl that’s being announced later today (typical NHL, so desperate to work Crosby in that they’re announcing an event featuring him [and Alex] the day before the Cup Finals are starting, which don’t include him.  But I can’t be too made that the Caps are visitors because as everyone has been pointing out, the visitor goes to the Cup Finals.  Fair trade off.), but I would like to present my worthless well thought out predictions.  And I would like to talk about the in-studio guest NBC is hosting during the game tomorrow night.

First, the pick.  This is hard for me.  Everyone is picking Chicago.  Chicago is so trendy and they’re so good and everyone just loves them and thinks that even if it takes six or seven games, they’ll win.  First of all, I think the problem I have with Chicago is that while I like quite a few of their players on an individual basis (Toews is so good, and, I mean, I own a Toews shirt for a reason), when they’re assessed holistically they make me think of that stuck-up jock at high school who knows he’s all that and knows he’s talented and attractive and somewhat funny and just assumes that everyone will love him.  I’m not saying they’re not a really good team, because they are.  Don’t get me wrong, I realize they’re talented and they do have a really good chance of winning it all this year.  But they’re the star quarterback, and that gets on my nerves a little.

Then there’s Philadelphia.  Philadelphia has essentially flipped off the hockey community by winning the Eastern Conference because everyone figured they were done for back in December when they switched coaches and celebrated by getting spanked by the Capitals, specifically one Lars Nicklas Backstrom (10 YEARS!!!!).  Then when they finally snuck into the playoffs, everyone wanted to play them because they knew it would be an easy win.  I was included in that list as far as the Caps’ first round matchup was concerned.  I didn’t want the Sabres to play them because I knew Richards would score at least 16 shorties during the series.

But I digress.  All of a sudden the Flyers are playing for the Stanley Cup and aside from the part where they’re on like their eighteenth goalie, they look like the team everyone picked before the season started.  I hate the Flyers with a passion, but they’ve got something good going too.  And as much as I detest them, I honestly think they have a legitimate chance of winning.  That’s why I have a problem just picking the Blackhawks in six, because I think if Philadelphia plays the way they have for the past few rounds I think they could actually win the Cup.  And if that happened, I’d have to kill myself and then cancel my subscription to the Buffalo News.

So now I don’t know if I should just pick Chicago anyway, because their goalie isn’t so high risk in the “complete meltdown” category, or pick Philadelphia because I think they could do it and I wanted to be able to say I picked them.  I feel like this is one of those things where you have to see how each team plays against each other but that’s a cop out.

I think I’m gonna go with the Flyers because of all of the above reasons and also because Hossa plays for Chicago.  I may have made it this far without mentioning him and his curse, but it clearly plays some significance.  Don’t ever piss off the hockey gods.  So, yeah.  Philadelphia. I’m certainly not rooting for them, I just think that they could actually do it.  Dare to be different!

I’m going to need a long shower when this is all over with.

NBC must realize, however, how I feel about these teams, because they’ve added some intermission entertainment to the game tomorrow night.  None other than Buffalo’s own Ryan Miller will be taking the stage with Pierre and Mike to wear one of his uber trendy suits, discuss the game, and hopefully diffuse the tension that will surely build between Pierre and Mike.  Personally, I’d rather just see him in between benches instead, but I realize this won’t happen.

As I would just like to remind everyone, I have an amazingly excellent track record with my favorite players doing intermission reports on NBC.

I actually haven’t watched this interview in quite some time, so I had forgotten how magnificently awkward it was and how deep and insightful it got with the learning stuff.  If Ryan Miller’s appearance is half as epic as this one, I will consider it to have been a success.

See, guys?  NBC can get it right every once and a while!

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