The Things I Know For Certain

May 5, 2009 at 3:53 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, David Steckel, Evgeni Malkin, Happy!!, Jose Theodore, Mikael Tellqvist, Pittsburgh Penguins, Semyon Varlamov, Sidney Crosby, That horse is dead. Drop the stick., Trendy Euro Sabres, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 9 Comments
  • Last night’s game was hugely entertaining.  Completely nerve-wracking, but so much fun.
  • Alex’s tour du chapeau was better than Sid’s because Alex’s won the game.
  • Simeon Varlamov is really good at bouncing back from bad goals.  I like that in a man.  He’s reliable.
  • Trendy Euro has abandoned us for the evil KHL.  As I have a sinking feeling about Lala, I was thinking the Caps should ship Jose up here.  He’s pretty, and it’s not like Lindy’s going to ever play him, so we wouldn’t have to worry!
  • David Steckel may be a douchebag, but just as Brian is Stewie’s douchebag, David is mine.  (I actually don’t know if he’s a douchebag, it’s just this random assumption I made.  If you happen to know one way or another you could let me know…or not.  I kind of like just going around thinking he’s a lovable douche.)
  • Christine Simpson would be a fascinating subject for a mental study.  She really, really would be.  I’d probably end up in therapy, but I would love to know what goes on under that perfectly made up blonde head.
  • Christine Simpson needs to realize that not every North American player she interviews is Sidney Crosby.  His name is David Steckel, Christine.  He plays for the team that won and he’s from Milwaukee.  His name is not Sid.
  • I think I’ve managed to figure out what Simeon’s appeal to me is.  Aside from the badass goaltending and the charmingly boyish good looks, he’s a man of mystery.  I know very little about him other than that he’s a goalie, he’s Russian, has a good sense of humor, and the first English word he learned was “awesome.”  That must be what intrigues me.  For all I know, he could be a Latin scholar who loves baking cookies and whiling away rainy days with a book.  
  • Simeon, don’t you dare be a Latin scholar who loves baking cookies and whiling away rainy days with a book.  That would be SO not cool.
  • I was worried that hanging my Caps banner in the front door would jinx them, but it didn’t.  Woo!
  • I’m kind of in favor of suspending Kunitz for trying to behead Simeon with his stick, but I doubt it will happen.  The league has been quite inconsistent with suspensions during the playoffs this year.
  • I just paid $22 for a “Got Ovechkin?” t-shirt.  I’m so excited.  I’m putting it on the moment it comes.
  • I applaud Alex for cracking jokes in a language he isn’t completely comfortable with yet, but sometimes I don’t even know where they come from.  “I’m afraid to go home.”  Does that mean your fans will be rioting excitedly out in front of your house?  Does it mean that you fear another egg being left in your driveway?
  • Reporters need to accept the fact that Alex isn’t going to talk about Simeon.  Please, people. Just understand that and move on.  Stop asking him.  It’s a tad bit annoying.
  • Also, can we please get over this whole Alex-LeBron thing?  Yes, they’ve met each other.  Yes, LeBron sent him a jersey.  We know.  You’ve only told us a million times.
  • What they’ve left out every single time they tell it, however, is that Lars was also there that day.  Poor boy.  Everyone always forgets Lars.
  • I feel a clarification is necessary, as many people (read: my brother) have been asking me over and over again why just because I love Alex, I have to hate Sid.  Here’s the deal:  Long before I even cared about Alex, I disliked Sidney Crosby.  It’s just always been there.  I can’t even fully explain it.  (Well, no, I can.  It just takes a while and I don’t feel like going into it.)  I didn’t start disliking the Penguins until I started liking the Caps.  That’s all.
  • Evgeni Malkin can always be relied on to choke in the playoffs.  Did he miss the flight to DC?
  • Will being back in front of their home crowd give the Penguins a huge lift tomorrow night?  Absolutely.  
  • Is a 2-0 series lead in Washington’s favor huge, and hard to overcome?  Hell, yes.  I’m not making any predictions and I’m not saying anything.  I’m just…sayin’.
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9 Comments »

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  1. Ha! I agree that Steckel is a douchebag! I too want to think of him as a loveable douche, but from what people tell me he is a super nice guy.

  2. Did you hear the NPR on Ovechkin vs. Sid? They had another LeBron comparison.

    • I actually think I have heard it…they played it while we were in the car and I was the only one who liked it.

  3. There was an article in the newspaper today about the Sid-Ovie thing, it said “Sidney Crosby is the finest white whine you can order at a restaurant, Alex Ovechkin is a Jager Bomb”

    I thought it was plain hilarious.

    • I saw that too, and it just might be the best comparison I’ve heard of the two yet.

  4. Lie. It’s not possible to like Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin at the same time. You love one, you loathe the other. Or you just don’t care about either.
    Good series from the Caps, however. And hilarious blog, as always.

    • Thanks, Lill!


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