Is That An Apple In Your Toga Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

February 2, 2009 at 3:20 pm | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Empty Threats, Football, Huh?, Mike Weber, Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators, Randomness, Washington Capitals | 2 Comments

Sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.  It’s just the artwork for this week’s chapter in our Latin textbook offers so many possibilities for inappropriate jokes.  There are two women sitting next to each other and it appears as though they’re watching each other lovingly and feeding each other grapes.  Then there are the sexual poses SEVERAL of the men are striking on their reclined chairs as they stare across the mensae at each other with looks that can only be described as lustful.  Then there’s the porcus, who is for some reason lacking the customary apple in the mouth. I coined the title of this post when we noticed that Titus, the alcoholic older brother who arrived late, was staring at another man’s private area right near the apple-less pig.   I love Latin.  You all have no idea.  I have been called the Alexander Ovechkin of Latin (or Wayne Gretzky, *winkTwihardwink*).  We got our review schedule for the N.L.E. (National Latin Exam) today and I am pumped.  I might have to skip one of the reviews, though, because it’s on my birthday and I have to come home and do homework make myself beautiful for the hockey game that night.  Bummer.  

The Super Bowl yesterday wanted to kill me.  It really did.  I…just… ARGH!  STUPID DAMN CARDINALS COULDN’T HOLD ON FOR THE BIGGEST FREAKING COMEBACK IN FREAKING SUPER BOWL HISTORY.  CARDINALS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH TODAY?!!?  It was terrible.  First, my beloved teacher was wearing his NEW Roethlisberger jersey, because one simply isn’t enough.  He clearly doesn’t care about his authentic jersey (and it’s authentic.  I made a smartass comment to him about it before the bell and while the sarcasm flew over his head and out the door, he informed me that it was as authentic as a jersey could possibly be), however, because he spilled coffee right down the white front.  He dug up a Tide-To-Go stick to try and clean it, but it didn’t work.  He’ll just send it out for dry cleaning.  He informed us that he did have to wipe away a tear when the Cardinals scored late, prompting his wife to tell him that he’s pathetic.  Later in the class, he did a little jig and let us all know that we could never understand his love for the Steelers.  He just loves them so much.  I even have a quote, verbatim, to show you how much he loves them:

“I love the Steelers so much.  You guys can’t even begin to understand it.  I really just want to gather them all into my arms and give them a huge hug.”

Yeah.  Just in case you forgot, this is the man who also proudly wears a Pominville jersey.  I was wiping away my own tears by the end of the period, except mine were of mirth.

Craig Hartsburg was fired.  Good grief.  It’s about time, Ottawa.  Was it the terrible game against the Caps yesterday that prompted you to can him?  Because that’s pretty much what the Sens have looked like all year long.  And I don’t really think a new coach is going to turn the franchise around.  In case you hadn’t noticed, they have almost the exact same team they had in the Cup Finals a few years ago, minus an angry goalie and a few other spare parts.

Speaking of that game yesterday – that Caps game that was ridiculously awesome and totally hilarious? – I just wanted to reassure anyone worried about me that I haven’t given my heart to a total badass who would be a bad influence.  On the contrary, my man hits the hay around eight the night before an afternoon game.

The Canadiens’ jerseys yesterday were really bad.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Mikey Mike got called back up!  Woo!  Ahh!  The Sabres’ defense is almost comical at this point, but hey, we need them to stay strong.  There are another critical two points on the line tonight.  The Sabres need to pad their spot in the standings especially now that Carolina has come back up out of NOWHERE and is occupying the spot two points behind.  I…won’t be watching the game tonight.  I’d like to, but if I’m expected to lead a debate team at seven in the morning tomorrow, staying up until midnight watching hockey probably isn’t the best idea.  

Go Sabres!  Don’t get all pissy on me and purposefully lose because I’m not watching.  Remember, I have secondary teams and I’m not afraid to use them.


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  1. The Canadiens’ jerseys yesterday were really bad. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

    I want to know what Tim Gunn would say about those jerseys.

  2. I really want to lead the other debate team. Like really.

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