65 Reasons I Love A.M.O. #35: Ovie Da Prez, Part II

September 30, 2008 at 5:29 pm | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Happy!!, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Paul Gaustad, Ryan Miller, This Irks Me | Leave a comment

First of all, I would just like to say oh fuck.  But now that I think about it, I should really be saying I told you so.  Because did I not warn that something like this would happen?  Yeah.  I know.  I did.  

Choosing Crunchy as Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend is looking like an even better decision in light of all this, because while I am definitely freaking out for the well-being of the Sabres and Goose, I haven’t completely lost it, which I would have if I had chosen to entrust my heart to Goose.

And while I appreciate you asking about the global test today, I have decided that I am NOT talking about it.  No fucking way.  That was hands-down the WORST test I ever took.  End of story.

I will, however, talk about how my mom is hilarious and bought me a copy of the new issue of ESPN when she was at Border’s today even though the fantabulous Corinne is giving me her issue when her family is done.  Oh well.  Now I can cut out that bitchin’ picture of Alex in the Oval Office from one issue to put on The Wall and keep the other one together so that I will be able to read the article and see the hilarious picture of Backstrom looking all foxy as a secret service agent.  

I said it before, and I’ll say it again:  ESPN didn’t completely screw the article.  I never read ESPN.  Hell, I never WATCH ESPN, because it’s stupid and retarded and I was so sick of seeing Brett Favre all summer that I wanted to shoot myself.  It was therefore a pleasant surprise to see that they didn’t tarnish the good name of Alex Ovechkin.  I took a few pictures of my first copy of the magazine, which are below for your viewing pleasure.

The picture on the cover is definitely the worst picture of Ovie I have ever seen.  I actually cringed when I first saw it, and had to quickly pull up the picture of foxy Crunchy (why is everything suddenly so “foxy” to me?)  to keep myself from going blind.  I hope my retinas didn’t suffer severe damage.

There.  Now that everyone has soothed their aching eyes, we can continue.

I like my presidents YUMMY.

In my opinion, this picture totally makes up for that ugly thing we had to see on the cover.  Ready for the close-up?

Here’s who I want answering the phone at 3 a.m.  Just LOOK at that sexy, determined,  “I’m the prez” look he’s workin’!

And, of course, where would President Ovechkin be without his trusty secret service?

Da-yum.  Nick Backstrom can protect me whenever he wants.


As for the article itself, I thought it was really cute how they managed to make all those connections between being president and playing for the Caps.  I especially loved Brooks Laich talking about Ovie’s ugly sweatpants (you know, D.C. is overrun with homeless people to show Congress how the poor live.  I know this.  Every time I take a school trip [and People to People] they tell us not to make eye contact with any homeless people.  Maybe Ovie just never have a weirdo tour guide to tell him not to make eye contract), Greenie having a “no-way-I’m-going-out-like-that” look, and Ovie ordering McDonald’s after he won all his awards.  After a bad experience with McDonald’s and McTummyaches when I was on my school trip in D.C. last year, the only Micky D’s I’ll eat is fries or a McFlurry, but I think even those would taste even McYummier with Mr. President.  

He definitely gets my vote.

P.S. If you want to read the whole article, it can be found here. Figures I found the link online right after I take all the pictures of my copy of the magazine and upload them.  Whatevs.  Enjoy.

P.P.S.  I fully just ordered The Glass Passenger on Amazon and paid six extra dollars to ensure that it will be here by Thursday.  I was going to pay $11 to have it here by tomorrow afternoon (guaranteed!), but apparently paying $11 to have a CD that’s running for $9.99 is “wasteful.”  Just like paying $22 shipping for a $24 hat is “ridiculous.”  


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