Jonathan Toews Is Trying To Steal My Man

September 19, 2008 at 5:22 pm | Posted in Get Yer Paws Off My Man, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, This Irks Me | 1 Comment

First of all, I would just like to say that I LOVE Patrick Kane more than words could describe.  Crunchy may be my reliable first love, and Ovie may be the one I have wildly inappropriate fantasies about, but at the end of the day (after the aforementioned fantasies), it’s actually Pkane I want to be able to sit down on the couch and watch the news with.  I think it would definitely work out between us, because he appears to like to be in charge, and I like to be in charge too so we could challenge each other, we’re both from B-lo (okay, so techincally I’m from Orchard Park, but we’re both Western New Yorkers), he’s hilarious, so he could keep me laughing, and my grandmother loves him almost as much as I do (although his grandparents are quite possibly the only people in all of WNY that my grandma doesn’t know.  She used to play bridge with the mayor’s mother, was BFFs with John Stevens’s [remember him?  that was the only season of American Idol I ever watched] grandma, and is Ralph Wilson’s neighbor.  But, of course, she doesn’t know Mr. and Mrs. Kane Sr.)

The only problem I see is Jonathan Toews.  Now, I get that they’re teammates, and I can understand them being good friends.  I’m fine with that!  What I don’t like is Jonathan trying to get some off my man.

(Once again, NHL videos fuck up my post.  How’s that for something new and different?)

Basically, Jonathan totally did that, “I’m going to pretend I’m stretching but actually I’m trying to put my arm around you” trick.  And it was NOT appreciated, Jonathan.  Stop going along with every single thing Pkane says, and stop trying to put your arm around him.  That is MY spot, and I DO NOT appreciate you taking it!!!

That’s as much contact as you’ll get, Jonathan.


BTW, I am watching all these videos when I am supposed to be taking advantage of the empty house to work on my scrapbook.  But seriously.  Patrick Kane acting like an adorable five year-old, or scrapbook?  Oh gee, that’s a toughie.

I think I am basically screwed on this project.  Good thing I got a 97.5 on my Guns, Germs, and Steel test, and have an UNWEIGHTED 97 average!!!   EEEEE!!!

1 Comment »

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  1. Um sorry but patrick kane is MINE!!! i already live in chicago so we could just spend the rest of our lives together here when we’re happilly married and hes playing for the hawks!

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