Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend, Round Ten

August 29, 2008 at 4:32 pm | Posted in Bills, Frostee's Sabres Boyfriend, Henrik Tallinder, Ryan Miller | 1 Comment

This is the tenth round of cuts in a series where I decide who will be Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend.

A few things before I snatch away someone’s dream:

  • My locker SUCKS.  What the HELL did I do to offend you, God?  Because I must have seriously pissed you off.  You wouldn’t banish a good person to the motherfucking locker bay.  
  • Um, yeah, so, the Bills suck.  The Bulls are okay, but the Bills just plain suck.
  • Did anyone else get the sense, when watching Barack talk about his and Michelle’s education, that Michelle was acting almost like a pageant mom?  IDK.  They showed her and she nodded, shook her head, and then mouthed “That’s right.”  It seemed a bit pageant mom-ish to me.  And last night was actually the first time my dad promised me, “Change is coming to America,” when he said goodnight.
  • Okay, when is the season premiere of Saturday Night Live?  Because my all-time favorite person is hosting.  I’m really not sure if Dear Michael can handle it, but I might make an exception and not be too mean about it if he kinda sucks.  Warm fuzzies to him for trying.
  • Summer has been good to you, Crunchy.  I’m liking the whole barefoot-thing.  And is it just me, or did you bulk up a bit?  I told you, that beer and pizza diet works wonders!

Okay, today’s cut:

Henrik Tallinder

(I promise, I did not plan it that in the TENTH round I would eliminate the player who wears number TEN.  I swear God!  I swear ma mom!)

Ah, Henrik.  Henrik, Henrik, Henrik.  You’re wonderful, really, you are.  You have a winning smile, you appear to be charming, and you are SO badassed.  I have never seen anything quite as badassed as you faking the shorts off of Marty Brodeur.  I especially love how when you google image search “henrik tallinder,” this picture shows up.  (God, I love the Lundqvist twins.  I do not care that Henrik players for the Rangers.  He and Joel are SO HOT.)

I just have one concern, Henrik.  It may be silly, but you never know.  See, I’m kind of afraid that you might…well…rape me.  Yeah.  And I’m even more afraid that you and Andreas Lilja and Kristian Huselius might get together and gang rape me.  I understand that all charges have been dropped, but you never know.  Swedish sex scandals are not taken lightly here at TFF.  And, of course, you were banned from playing in Turin in 2006, and as we all know, I live for Olympic hockey.  Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend does NOT get banned from the Olympics.  It just does not happen.  

There are only a few players left!  Keep reading to find out who will get to be Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend!

1 Comment »

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  1. you’re hilarious. 🙂
    love your page!

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