65 Reasons I Love A.M.O.: #9 Ovie’s a Communist!

July 22, 2008 at 7:37 pm | Posted in 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O. | 1 Comment

I had no intention of doing a post on why I love Ovie today, but I had no choice.

As I was lying in bed last night after Bailey was chosen to play the next Elle Woods on Broadway (and thank God for that.  I don’t care if Autumn can sing, she’s a bee-yotch off the stage), I realized something.  Earlier in the day I had been watching a “Gilmore Girls” rerun, and at one point in the episode Lorelai told Rory, “And I’m a Communist, ’cause I look damn good in red.”  Haha, I thought to myself, and forgot about it.  However, as I was lying in bed, mulling over the day’s events, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Communists wear red.

Communists are from Russia.

Ovie is from Russia.

And what color were the silk vest and ascot Ovie wore to the NHL Awards?

Fuck it all, Alex Ovechkin’s a Communist.  I couldn’t believe it when I figured it out.  I mean, come on.  What Communist signs a $124 million contract?  This Russian does, apparently.  He fooled us all, and now he’s running around with a key to our nation’s capitol.  A Communistic, twenty-two year-old Russian who is anti-speed limits has the key to Washington, D.C.  Someone needs to tell Barrack Obama.  (Because if I told Bush, he would suggest a “nuculer” attack on Russia, and if I told John McCain he would just ask me for more money)  This is a serious, serious problem, but fear not, Dear Readers.  I will continue the list of why I love him, because for some strange reason I like Communists.  Jan was my favorite character in Native Son.   

And after all, everyone know the bad guy is sexy.


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  1. First of all, I”m not sure whether you meant to spell “nuclear” wring, because it was in caps. Second, Em, don’t be so closeminded. Not all Communists are from Russia. No Communists are from Russia as is was the Soviet Union I think you’re talking about. And not every communist was born there either. Look at China and Vietnam!!!
    This useless history lecture brought to you by Azul.

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