Sorry for the lack of posting recently. School has been crazy and when I finally get a minute it’s usually spent sleeping instead of blogging. I apologize.
To recap the past few days:
The Sabres/Caps game was hella boring, but Washington won and so I was able to see both the secret handshake AND the chestbump in person. Both are QUITE adorable. Sorry Sabres. The Caps had the rust excuse. You guys just suck.
Once again, Alexander did not score for me. He did, however, sing and dance in the warmup. Champ.
The Caps then beat Tampa Bay, and thank the merciful heavens for that. Their penalty killing against the Lightning is atrocious. The new guy scored two goals. Mike Knuble continues to be totally deserving of my love. In one of the best defensive sequences I’ve seen all season, Lars Nicklas blocked THREE straight shots. Without a stick. Epic. He can score and play defense, kids. My mom now wants me to have his children because she wants “defensively responsible grandchildren.”
Tonight the Sabres played the Flyers. I hate the Flyers. It’s a genetic thing. I, however, chose to go to the mall instead of watching. It made me feel empowered. The Sabres then won in overtime. Fear not, I saw the highlights (and bought several adorable new outfits in case the snow ever melts). Tim Connolly got lucky there in overtime. Adam Mair makes me laugh. I hate Mike Richards. Ryan shaved his crack whore beard.
I think I got everything. The Sabres continue to infuriate everyone, while the Caps make sure their fans get wings.
I really don’t even care that much that the Caps lost last night. It would happen eventually, and the game was so entertaining that it made up for the final score.
I’m pretty sure whenever Alex gets close to fighting, the referees, coaches, and any other NHL personnel in attendance collectively think to themselves, “Oh crap, there go the gloves. Get him the heck out of there.”
Matt Bradley is a hero. Plain and simple.
I am a little mad, however, that Alex is now FOUR back in the goals race. That’s a lot of ground to make up, young man. Get your ass in gear.
He also happened to win a faceoff last night. It was…mindblowing, to say the least.
Lars Nicklas’s roughing penalty (or maybe boarding, I don’t remember what they ended up calling it) was 17 different kinds of cute. Lookit him, playing physical!
The Caps play again tonight, but the Sabres don’t. This layoff is getting a little annoying.
As we all know, the Sabres have now beaten the Leafs approximately 87 straight times. This might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea.
If the Caps beat Tampa Bay tonight, it will be their thirteenth straight win against them. I think it’s fairly safe to say that Buffalo Sabres are to Toronto Maple Leafs as Washington Capitals are to Tampa Bay Lightning.
The Southeast Division is so cute. I just want to squeeze its cheeks and bake it cupcakes.
Woo!! Yay!! Hurray!! I know it’s been said in several other players, but dude, are the Sabres ever going to lose again? They’re so awesome and lovable and good right now. Sabres, you guys are the bestest.
The first two and a half minutes of the game last night were the best, especially since I was sitting a few rows behind the net where the first three goals were scored. It was pretty cool. Goosie makes the best faces.
I have a confession: When Vinny scored I looked over at a couple friends sitting a few sections over and we all made little hearts with our hands. Yeah, we went there.
Jochen Hecht looked rather zippy. I guess wanting to make the Olympics is really good motivation to play the best hockey you possibly can…Mike Green.
Sometimes low-scoring games can be fun if they’re fast and exciting, but when I’m actually at the game, I judge the awesomeness by how many times I get to stand up and cheer for a goal. I stood up five times last night, therefore it was a pretty awesome game.
The Sabres have won every game I’ve gone to this year except the preseason game. This is much better than last year and the year before that.
My jersey thoroughly enjoyed its first meeting with HSBC Arena. It hopes to become better acquainted with the arena, but understands that twice a year my other jersey gets to head on over for the game.
Just watch this. What a doofus. I love them all. Except maybe Mike Green. Um, Michael, what were you doing with your legs when you were sitting down there?
I also finally watched that NHL Network special on Alex’s goals. Guys, that’s pretty much why I fell in love with him. He is RATHER good at hockey, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed.
I hope the Sabres blow out the Leafs tomorrow night. That would be fun. I would also appreciate it if the Caps actually win the second game in a row tonight, since losing three straight is enough losses for now, thanks very much.
Fact: I love Tyler Myers. I would drop out of high school to marry him if he asked me. He’s amazing. He’s wonderful. He and Paul Gaustad can team up to rid the world of global warming and cure cancer.
Fact: I’m really pissed I missed the Capitals game.
Fact: Alex doesn’t score goals when I don’t watch.
Fact: That was the WORST shootout I have ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen a lot of shootouts and they’re always bad.
Fact: Timmy K and Mike Grier have the best chemistry. Its awesomeness is second only their goal celebration hugs.
Fact: Toronto will not win a hockey game this season.
Fact: Mike Richards’s hit was vicious. Good grief, Mike.
Fact: I hope Ilya’s ok.
Fact: Marty St. Louis confuses me.
Fact: I really wanted Drew to face Ryan in the shootout.
Fact: I am so insanely tired and I couldn’t even muster enough energy to care about this game until Drew tied it. I want to go to sleep so badly but sleeping in the job is the number one no-no when babysitting.
Fact: I don’t think the Sabres were all that mind-blowingly good tonight, but being able to come from behind at the very end and win is huge, even against a team like Tampa Bay.
Fact: Don Cherry’s suit was crazy tonight.
He sounds so knowledgeable and he talks about hockey and he really seems to know what’s going on and most importantly, he doesn’t say “you know” in between every single word *coughVanekcouch*. Chris Butler’s interview was one of the MANY perks last night.
- Thomas Vanek is a badass. That natural tour du chapeau? Beautiful. Thomas seems to have problems scoring on breakaways so seeing him get a goal on a breakaway last night was awesome. Power play goals leader? Tied with Jeff Carter? Woo! I officially declare his scoring slump to be over. (Frostee’s Dad seems to be under the impression that Thomas will now overtake Alex for the league lead. I had QUITE a laugh over that one.)
- Drew Stafford’s goal was spectacular. I hadn’t gotten home yet but I saw the replay multiple times. Wow. That’s skill right there. That’ll definitely be considered when it comes time to choose the goal of the year. His postgame interview was cute when all the reporters started talking at once and he looked around all confused, but then he made some smartass comment that made him sound like all the punks at my high school. Oh, Drew. At least we’re making progress on your social skills.
- Tim Connolly is really good at hockey. I wish he wasn’t always hurt. Imagine how good the Sabres would be if he was always healthy?
- Ryan Miller, ILY. I realize that you were only faced with 16 shots, but towards the end I started to get a little nervous. Congrats on the shutout. I’m wearing my Miller t-shirt, in case you were wondering.
- Toronto took a shitload of penalties last night. Good grief, Toronto.
- Buffalo did not manage to score on all of those shitloads of penalties. Seriously, Buffalo? I love you for last night’s game, but a few more power play goals would have made the night even better than it was.
- I have a massive bruise on my thigh and I can’t move my right shoulder because I landed on it when I flipped over Caitlin, but other than that I’m functioning pretty well today. This is a pleasant surprise.
- I find it highly amusing that no one even talks about Max anymore.
- RJ sounded great last night. It was cool hearing the other teams’ broadcasts, but I missed Rick.
- Harry still sounded like an angry old man during The Whip.
- What was Robi talking about last night? He confuses me sometimes.
- Speaking of Robi, apparently my mother went to school with several of the people in that dental group he sponsors.
Other notes from last night that are good and bad for the Sabres:
- Philadelphia lost. Good. Buffalo’s starting to catch up to them. Friday’s game will be huge.
- Pittsburgh won. We kept flipping back over to that game and laughing because the Penguins were getting shut out at home. By Tampa Bay. Then it was 3-1 and we moaned about how at least Pittsburgh got a goal. Then we flipped back and they were in overtime. Then Malkin scored the OT winner with 6 seconds left. The Penguins may suck, but Tampa Bay sucks harder. You know who I think should be captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins? Evgeni Malkin. Yeah. I said it. Even though the Pens are terrible he always scores and assists and last night he really seemed to lift the Penguins on his shoulders and carry them to a win. He would make a lovely captain, and now that he speaks English we would get tons of interviews along the lines of, “We want win!” There’s still a cushion between them and the Sabres, but Friday’s game will be huge.
- I honestly believe the administrators in this school distract are control freaks. Seriously? Giving us a conference day on THURSDAY and then making us go to school on Friday is cruel. They do it three times this year, and it shows that they’re all assholes. Right now they’re probably at the district office, laughing to themselves and saying, “Hahaha, look at those students, they get to stay home on Thursday and then have to come to school on Friday because we feel like it. We’re keeping them from having a three-day weekend merely because WE CAN.”
- My parents decided to send my brother on a long weekend school trip to Quebec over spring break. I’m a little surprised, as my brother is probably the biggest scatter brain on the planet. The only good thing about all this is that I now have leverage in my, “Going to D.C. for a few days over spring break and seeing a Capitals game would probably be the coolest thing in the whole wide world” campaign. Woo.
- We’re pretty sure tonight is “Don’t have sex before marriage because God will shun you and no one will want to marry you and you’ll probably die” night in religion. You have no idea how excited we all are for this.
- The Sabres.
- The injuries to the Sabres defensemen.
- The Rape of Nanking.
- AIDS Day. You know that scene in Mean Girls when the gym teacher says, “If you have sex, you will catch Chlamydia and die”? That was what today was. ”If you don’t wear a finger condom, you will catch HIV.” And if that guy said “girl fluids” one more time, I was going to throw my French binder at him.
- My teacher’s story about Alexander Mogilny. One of her friends was engaged to him but broke it off when she decided that his rules of having no friends and always obeying him weren’t the greatest. After she dumped him he ended up with a nice Russian girl who doesn’t speak any English. You know what? I…refuse to believe that my Alex is like that. I would rather continue living in my own little fantasy.
- Sidney dropping out of the All Star Game. But only bad for NHL. What are they going to do without their star player two years in a row? (And, uh, does this mean that Alex will get bumped up to the starting line? Or would they not do that to protect him? ’Cause, you know, with Geno and everything…)
- The “Flora and Ignatius Should Be A Couple” Bandwagon. Get off it, people. I don’t care if our Latin class has a history of setting people off. Get off that bandwagon right now.
- Losing to the Tampa Bay Lightning.
- Losing to the Senators. Capitals, you just had to hang out for another minute and a half to at least get one point. Last night SUCKED.
- Jose Theodore. You are not very good, Jose. Bruce, might I suggest calling up Varlamov (or trading for Backstrom) right before the playoffs? I’m sure Jose could “tweak his groin.”
- Alex. Only morons take penalties like that, Alex. I let it slide on Monday because you scored in overtime, but I will not stand for it this time. I am officially giving you the silent treatment, Alex. You better clean up your act.
- Actually, I’m totally kidding in the point above this. I’m pissed, but I won’t give the silent treatment. :) Especially not after that pre-game interview last night. (“Well, when I no score my teammates score, and when they don’t score I do, and when we don’t score Kozie and Feds do!”)
- Twitter. Instead of studying last night I set up my Twitter, and if you felt so inclined I would just love if you followed me. I’m sure you’re just dying to listen to me whine. A warning, however: it might take me a while to figure it all out. It took me a good three months to figure out how Facebook works.
- The Penguins. Apparently they had a FOUR MINUTE POWER PLAY (according to my friend, who watched it) at the end of the game and couldn’t score to tie it up. Ha. That’s…hilarious.
- Schedules. I was the queen of schedule drama this year and was practically a fixture in my guidance counselor’s office, but we finally got it straightened out. It figures three days after I get placed into Intro to Computers (I have a Facebook, a Twitter, three screen names, two email addresses, an iTunes store account, and I write a BLOG, for crying out loud. Why the hell am I required to take Intro in order to graduate?), I get the form to set up my schedule for next year. Blast. Maybe I won’t list alternate electives in an act of defiance, because if they don’t put me in French and Latin there will be hell to pay.
- Jarkko Ruutu. I hope everyone who watched noticed that as soon as the refs called Greenie he popped right back up. It was almost worth the Senators scoring on the power play to see Mr. Green punching Jarkko right in the face.
- Claude Lemieux. But that’s actually a good thing, because the NHL needs a villain.
- The Tampa Bay Lightning. And that, Sabres, is why you absolutely MUST beat them.
There is one thing that is good, however:
Before I start today’s post, I would just like to say how surprised I am that I’m even sitting here writing it. Usually my parents are very family oriented and anti-internet when we are on vacation. This is a nice change.
Now, on to what I really have to say. ESPN released their Summer Power Rankings, and I have several issues with them. First and foremost, the Sabres are in ninth place. Now, I know the playoff teams from last year haven’t really gotten any worse (other than Ottawa and possibly Boston), and other teams like Tampa Bay looks like they might be in the hunt, but still. I am not liking that the Sabres are not expected to have a postseason at this point. I don’t even care that it’s still July.
I did like that the Capitals were expected to make it back in, but that’s what confuses me. They were ranked at fifth in the Eastern Conference, with Pittsburgh, Montreal, Philadelphia, and the Rangers above them. There are no teams from the Southeast Division above them. Aren’t the three division-winning teams supposed to be given the top three seeds in the conference? That’s how the Capitals even got into the playoffs last year! This is making me think that I shouldn’t even be worried that the Sabres were ranked in ninth place, because it doesn’t look like ESPN knows how to do the rankings.
I may be wrong about this, but it is unlikely. I know how the rankings work pretty well after spending 45 minutes last year on the phone with my grandfather explaining why Carolina was above almost everyone else, even though they had fewer points.
Now that I know at least one person will be reading my blog (thanks a billion Corinne! I promise to read any blog you throw my way!), I feel like blogging a bit more. Since we are, after all, fourteen days into the free agency period, I thought I’d take a minute to discuss all the good, bad, and confusing of the offseason thus far.
- The Sabres resigned Paul Gaustad. This is good for several reasons. First of all, he’s great on the faceoffs. His winning percentage is pretty rad. Second, as a dedicated member of the Green Team, I’m happy to know someone so committed to saving the environment is sticking around. Also, I wouldn’t mind if he shoots a few more PSAs for next season. He’s good friends with Ryan Miller, which should hopefully be a plus as Ryan contemplates whether or not he wants to make a commitment to the Blue and Gold. And, of course, The Goose is hot.
- The Capitals went on a signing spree, locking down Mike “Mohawk” Green for 4 years, Brooks “Ladies’ Man” Laich for 3, and Sergei Fedorov for 1. Now, I only just became a Capitals diehard around March, but I still got excited when I saw these. Greenie led all defensemen in scoring, so he can’t be that bad! And Laich is a ladies’ man. Who doesn’t love a ladies’ man? Fedorov was bitchin’ on a line with Mr. Ovechkin and Kozlov. I was (ba-da-ba-ba-ba!) loving it!
- Vincent Lecavalier signs with Tampa Bay for 11 years and $85 million, complete with one of those evil no trade clauses. Vinny is decidedly a hottie, and a darn good player, and Tampa Bay decidedly sucks, so I am happy that I won’t have to worry about a player with actual talent going to a team that doesn’t suck and beating the Sabres. Although this could pose as a problem in the future for Alex and the rest of the Caps. Hmmm…
- Pittsburgh signs Fleury and Malkin, longterm. I put this on the good list because pity the Penguins and their fans. They went through what we Sabres fans went through last year with The Whores, aka Drury and Briere. A lot of the players seem to hate Therrien, and a lot of the players skipped town at the start of the free agency period (to Tampa Bay, strangely enough. Watch out, Alex and Co.!),
- Ted Nolan is fired by the Islanders. Sucka!!!
- The Sabres signed Nathan Gerbe, Tim Kennedy, Jhonas Enroth, etc. This signing spree was encouraging, since I had fallen in love with Nathan Gerbe, everyone’s favorite shortie, the moment I heard about him.
- Ray Emery had no choice but to sign with some Russian team. This honestly made my day when I read it.
- Detroit signed Hossa for one year, and they got Ty Conklin to back up Ozzie. Note to every other team in the NHL: Don’t even bother. You’re screwed.
- Brian Campbell signed with Chicago. I had really enjoyed the Blackhawks last year. Their winning in no way affected the Sabres’ ultimately unsuccessful run for the playoffs, and Patrick Kane plays for them. Who doesn’t love Patrick Kane? But then Soupy had to sign with them, for way too much money. Not cool, Soupy. Greed is almost as unattractive as that sloppy red hair of yours.
- Cristobal Huet signed with Chicago. I get that he’s not even a really great goalie, but still. I had gained a soft spot for him in my heart during his stay in Washington, and really liked those, “Hip, hip, Huet!” cheers.
- Crunchy is not under contract after this season. (By Crunchy I mean Ryan Miller. For some reason Miller is referred to as Crunchy across the blogosphere, and who am I to shy away from a trend?) I know that he sucked this season, but a mediocre goalie is better than no goalie at all. And what am I gonna do with Little Ryan if he goes and plays for Detroit?
- Max Afinogenov is still a Sabre. Seriously, the guy sucks. He has not scored a goal since 2001. I would know. I watch Vintage Games.
- Sean Avery signed with Dallas. I’m going to miss him. He’s obnoxious, and he’s stupid, but he’s always good for a laugh.
- Washington signs Jose Theodore, since Olie got pissed when they traded for Huet and left for Tampa Bay. (CAPITALS! BEWARE OF THE LIGHTNING! BEWARE!) I wasn’t really sure what to think, since Theodore is supposed to be pretty good when he doesn’t have the flu, aka detroitredwingsitis, so I googled him. And found this.
- Patrick Lalime, the Sabres’ newest backup goaltender. He’s been out in Chicago for God knows how long, so I don’t know what to think. All I know is that he used to play for Ottawa. *shudder*
- Jeff Finger. Oh, you’ve never heard of him? Yeah, well neither has anyone else. I think Cliff Fletcher was feeling all sad about saying goodbye to Mats Sundin and went binge-free agent shopping.
- I find it hilarious that Sundin was offered $20 million for 2 years in Vancouver. Mats, just a suggestion: go away. Please.
- Brooks Orpik resigned with Pittsburgh. I was under the impression that he wanted out. I was also under the impression that the Sabres would try to make an offer for him. Nope. Darcy didn’t make him an offer, even though his brother Andrew is a Sabres prospect. Whatevs, Darcy. Call me when you lock in Crunchy for life.
Sorry if I didn’t mention any of your favorite offseason moments!