(But first, happy birthday, Ryan Miller!! The big 3-0!)
As you know if you’ve ever read this blog before, Alexander Ovechkin is my favorite player. If you’re new around here, well, Alexander Ovechkin is my favorite player. As was, always is, and always will be. I think he’s the best player in the world and I will fight you to the death over it. I also apparently share the opinion of the entire NHL, because hey, they voted him MVP this year for the third time in a row. (And let me tell you, I still chuckle when I remember that after everything that he did and everything Sedin did, they still voted him. He just won’t go away.)
So this year he had an unfortunately early start to the offseason and hit the World Championships. He got in lots of shenanigans in Vegas. He became a godfather (that’s a leap of faith) and has been enjoying the company of lots of women. He hung out on a boat and wore a speedo, which was not one of his best ideas. His new “girlfriend” has the most outrageously long hair I’ve ever seen. I seriously don’t understand. Where does she put it when she does stuff? Does she move it out of the way when she sits down?
And then, dear readers, he got a job. And not just any job. He is now the advisor to the president of Moscow Dynamo, a KHL club.
Like, where to I even begin? I guess for such a famous athlete to work with a club from his home is a good idea. But, he’s not just an “advisor.” He’s a paid employee. That is so awesome on so many levels. What does he even advise him on? Drills to run with the team? Players to go after? Which tie looks good with that suit?
Is he secretly acting as a spy, giving NHL secrets to the KHL? Is this like the Cold War all over again? Does he get vacation days and sick days? It’s all a lot to consider. I think it’s very cool that he’s doing this and is having a “productive summer.” (The previous term, by the way, is a dirty, dirty term. Why would I want my summer to be productive, various adults?) And even though he’s getting paid, supposedly the salary is small. But still. This guy is a professional athlete who makes like $9 million a year, and he’s a salaried employee this summer anyway.
“What did you do this summer, Mike Green?”
“I got a lot of tattoos and worked on my man boobs.”
“What did you do this summer, Alex Ovechkin?”
“I was advisor to the president of a KHL hockey club.”
Well, maybe not an ‘A.’ Because Jay Mohr was terrible. But you know what? I have now watched the NHL Awards twice through (I’ll explain) and once again I’m reminded of how much I love this sport and this league.
Last night I missed half of the acceptance speeches because we were LOLing too hard (after Ryan’s, we proceeded to thank Noureen for all the other guys when they gave their speeches) and we were complaining too much during Jay Mohr’s stuff to completely appreciate it. We did, however, enjoy the Bobby Ryan/Ryan Getzlaf skit. Genius. It was funny, it was entertaining, even my mother cracked up. I love things like that. These guys have such great personalities and the league really should showcase that.
Today I watched my recording of it, which was fantastic. I could fast-forward through all the awkward banter and bad musical performances and just watch the acceptance speeches and player bits. It was quite nice.
I’m always down for a good “Alex Ovechkin looks like a caveman” joke, but Bigfoot? Really? I also thoroughly enjoyed his acceptance speech. I’ll be honest, I was surprised he won the Ted Lindsay award. I knew there was always the chance he’d win but I didn’t actually think he would. And while him winning that made me think he really did have a shot at the Hart, I’m okay with the way things turned out. Alex was voted most valuable player by his peers (I pointed this out ad nauseam to my Sidney Crosby fan friend last night around two in the morning until she threw a pillow at me), Hank got recognition from the media for what really was a great season, and Sid got the “we feel bad that we don’t have any other award to give you so we’re giving you this award” award. HA.
But I must admit, Sid did look completely out of his element last night. Poor kid.
I have a theory that it was actually Daniel accepting the awards tonight, and I’d like to keep it that way in my mind.
I love Tyler even more for his speech but the poor thing needs a little work on the hair. God bless his soul, I can’t wait until he wins ten Norris trophies.
Ryan Miller can work skinny ties like it’s nobody’s business. I’m very picky about who wears skinny ties, but he gets my seal of approval.
Mike Green, this is what you get for being a fatty and a crappy defenseman. Yay Duncs!
I cried when Theo was accepting his award. I have no problem admitting that. What a guy. I hope he ends up somewhere good next year.
(Seriously, Darcy, I’ve been saying for at least a year that you need to get him here to back up Ryan. He’d be a great backup!!)
I think I’m going to hunt down Pavel Datsyuk and get him ordained so he can marry me or give a speech at my wedding or something. That guy is hilarious.
Patrick Kane is going to get herpes before he’s done in Vegas if he’s not careful. Good grief, Kaner.
Punch line. Right now. Everyone get in.
Mike Green, you first.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE CAPS FINALLY WOKE UP!!!! WOOO!!! I STILL DON’T LIKE MIKE GREEN!!!!! WOO!! MATT BRADLEY IS SUCH AN AWESOME SECRET WEAPON TO HAVE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!! WOO!!
The Alex/Nicki near-makeout after Alex’s goal will go down as my favorite playoffs moment possibly ever, regardless of what happens in the rest of the playoffs. I think that’s the best celebration I’ve ever seen.
Those freakin’ Sabres make me so freakin’ angry. Vanek would’ve made a huge difference, but from what I saw in the third period they looked like a disinterested pile of crap and from what I saw on Twitter it sounds like it wasn’t much different during the first two periods. Ryan Miller deserves so much better.
Dear Sabres Not Named Ryan Miller,
Has it even occurred to you douchebags that he’s nominated for the Vezina Trophy? Has it even occurred to you that you could argue that the nomination is in spite of you?
I Don’t Like You Very Much Right Now,
Joy: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH MY HOCKEY GODS NICKLAS I DIDN’T THINK YOU COULD GET BETTER BUT YOU DID!!
Mike Green is even worse than last year. Yeah, I WENT THERE.
I’m so glad they (mostly) woke up. I was worried.
Sorrow: Deat great and powerful hockey gods, I will do whatever (WHATEVER) you want, just please, please, please, by some miracle, allow Thomas to be okay. We need him. The Sabres need him. The city of Buffalo needs him.
School is interfering with everything. It’s so lame. No one wants diagrams of the hearts distracting them from Jason Pominville getting a hattrick. (And bless him for that, what a good little boy!)
I was pleasantly surprised by the Sabres game Thursday night. It was fun. They scored lots of goals. Until he forgot that this is the 2009-10 season, Ryan was pretty darn good. That one save on Vinny was wonderful.
I still have no faith in the Sabres to win tonight. It’s a trust thing. I started trusting them, they stabbed me in the back, and now I simply can’t trust them. Plus I would think Lalime would have to start either tonight or tomorrow afternoon, and we all know how well those games go.
The Caps lost in overtime because I complimented Fat Mike (the hockey player formerly known as Michael) earlier in the day and he got rather overconfident and proceeded to make bad decisions near the end of the game. Eric Fehr, however, continues to be totally awesome. I wuv him. He’s so good this year. I’m especially fond of him playing with Flash. There was just something about the two of them back when the Caps were here earlier in March.
I’m worried about Varly. I’m sorry. I can’t help it.
In a recent episode of Caps Red Line I was watching the other day while procrastinating, Lars Nicklas revealed to us that he likes to talk a lot on the plane. I feel like he’s the hyperactive little kid on the team who gets all wound up on sugar and starts bouncing off the walls until Uncle Mike Knuble takes him over to the corner and makes him calm down. It’s a really amusing mental picture.
Lars Nicklas Backstrom is SO GOOD and I don’t know why he hasn’t been re-signed yet.
Yesterday was Mama Ovechkin’s birthday. We’re a big fan of her over here, so happy birthday Mama O!!
(I’ll get to the Sabres game in a minute, which, by the way, was hella boring. But first I have an important announcement.)
If you spent any time around this blog last spring, you’ll know that I had something of an inappropriate crush on Sergei Fedorov. I couldn’t help it. He was a great leader, he helped Alex Semin hugely, and he won the first round series for Washington. And he was slightly attractive, in that Russian way. When he left for Russia, I was heartbroken and really had no desire to find a new Creepy Old Man Crush. I figured I’d stick to the youngins for a while.
Enter Mike Knuble. Back over the summer I thought he was a great addition, and now, halfway through the season, I will gladly proclaim him to be the BEST OFFSEASON SIGNING EVAH. Look at him! I can’t even remember the last time he didn’t score in a game, and almost every time he does score it’s a two-goal game. He crashes the net!! He teaches the Caps that it’s an okay thing to do!! Did you SEE Lars Nicklas’s goal last night? Chances are he never even would have tried that if Mike Knuble hadn’t been there to lead the way. He’s a veteran leader. Remember that one game back that one time? I don’t even remember, but I do remember that he single-handedly killed off a penalty. He’s hilarious. (My mom still mentions swollen feet at the most random times and it ALWAYS cracks us up. God bless him, he’s such an old man.) He helps out charities. He has cute kids. He thinks Alex and Nicki are two of the best players in the world. He looks beyond ridiculous in hard hats. He has questionable taste in music.
Yes, Mike Knuble is my new Creepy Old Man Crush. He’s old enough to be my father, but every time he scores a goal from three inches away from the net, I simply don’t care. Mike Knuble, I don’t know how the Caps won games before you came to town.
I know that we’re not supposed to act like spoiled fans and we’re supposed to be grateful that the team wins and brings in two points, but the Sabres game last night was still something of a snoozer. The one Wednesday night was too, but I was there with friends and overtime and the shootout were exciting (did I really just say the shootout was exciting?) so I didn’t mind as much. Sitting at home on the couch, it wasn’t like there was much happening. It was fun to see Henrik Tallinder get a goal, and Thomas Vanek might break the twenty-goal mark yet, but the Bruins proved yet again that they make games boring. The two points still were critical though, especially with Ottawa coming up this week. They’re closing the gap and it’s not like we can count on the Sabres to beat them. Pittsburgh on Monday will be a tough game too, but the Sabres are technically a better team and they should win. I like beating Pittsburgh. It’s fun.
Ryan Miller looked great again last night. I was getting a little worried about him out west, but maybe he’s righted the ship. I’d still like to see Lalime out there this week. Maybe Monday? Since he’s played really well against Pittsburgh this year? I get worried about Ryan burning out.
I’m not going to comment on Mike Green’s hit because it could go either way. He definitely got the elbow up there, but the NHL is so inconsistent with their discipline it’s not even like we can predict what will happen. They have spoken about cracking down on headshots more recently though, so you’ve got to wonder if a suspension will come just to reinforce that point.
I’ve never seen Alex score on a penalty shot before, and I rarely see him score on shootout attempts, so that was highly enjoyable. It was actually a pretty nice goal too. But I’m going to have to agree with Joe B. and Locker that Brooks Laich was the best player in that game. He’s been slumping and he definitely seems like he’s insanely hard on himself so it was great to see him get two goals and an assist. The shortie was magnificent.
Mike Green actually made an awesome defensive play taking Scott Hartnell off the puck. Maybe he’s not hopeless after all.
Sasha also had two really great plays in a row. I still don’t like him, but if he starts playing like that consistently I’d consider my open hate of his new deal.
As for the Sabres, I missed the first half of the game and got home just in time to see Staffy tie it up. Lindy probably would have killed him for missing that. Ryan was less than stellar in the shootout but the team needs to learn that they can’t always rely on him. He’ll bail them out most of the time, but they need a contingency plan.
After tomorrow’s game in Phoenix I probably won’t see any of the Sabres games until Saturday. It’s too late to stay up when I have to go to school in the morning, especially right around midterms. I’m hoping the Sabres get a regulation win tomorrow. They played really well against the Coyotes earlier in the year (I was there!) but Phoenix was a different team back then. The Caps, however, are playing Pittsburgh on Thursday. I’m not sure if I’m more excited or nervous for this game. The Penguins have been off their game lately but this is still an important game for Washington.
Buffalo better play well out west or Ima be pissed at them.
Woo!! Yay!! Hurray!! I know it’s been said in several other players, but dude, are the Sabres ever going to lose again? They’re so awesome and lovable and good right now. Sabres, you guys are the bestest.
The first two and a half minutes of the game last night were the best, especially since I was sitting a few rows behind the net where the first three goals were scored. It was pretty cool. Goosie makes the best faces.
I have a confession: When Vinny scored I looked over at a couple friends sitting a few sections over and we all made little hearts with our hands. Yeah, we went there.
Jochen Hecht looked rather zippy. I guess wanting to make the Olympics is really good motivation to play the best hockey you possibly can…Mike Green.
Sometimes low-scoring games can be fun if they’re fast and exciting, but when I’m actually at the game, I judge the awesomeness by how many times I get to stand up and cheer for a goal. I stood up five times last night, therefore it was a pretty awesome game.
The Sabres have won every game I’ve gone to this year except the preseason game. This is much better than last year and the year before that.
My jersey thoroughly enjoyed its first meeting with HSBC Arena. It hopes to become better acquainted with the arena, but understands that twice a year my other jersey gets to head on over for the game.
Just watch this. What a doofus. I love them all. Except maybe Mike Green. Um, Michael, what were you doing with your legs when you were sitting down there?
I also finally watched that NHL Network special on Alex’s goals. Guys, that’s pretty much why I fell in love with him. He is RATHER good at hockey, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed.
I hope the Sabres blow out the Leafs tomorrow night. That would be fun. I would also appreciate it if the Caps actually win the second game in a row tonight, since losing three straight is enough losses for now, thanks very much.
During the first intermission tonight, we were treated to an interview in which Drew Stafford discusses Festivus. I was really impressed by this video for two reasons:
1.) Videos like this are pretty much the norm for a lot of other teams, but one gripe I’ve always had about the Sabres is that after a crappy game or when I’m in the mood for warm and fuzzy Sabre-love, there aren’t any hilarious/ridiculous/cute videos to watch. I like that we get to see a guy’s personality for once.
2.) The biceps. Two tickets for the gun show, please!!
(Lindy didn’t hurt at the end either: ”I don’t even know why you would ask me such a stupid question.” Lindy, you’re not so bad.)
On the other side, Alex was dancing along to some techno music at the end of the game. I sincerely hope someone gets it up on Youtube.
While the intermission was rather enjoyable, the game itself was crap for the Sabres. They sucked in the first period, they played a great second period, and then they sucked/spent too much time in the box in the third period. Ryan Miller looked like the Miller of old on the first two goals, and if we’re going to start seeing more of that I will scream. The penalty killing didn’t hold up when they needed it the most. The power play continues to suck major ass. I can’t even articulate how bad it is. I…..it…..nightmares….
AND they play Ottawa next, so, you know, kicks and giggles, sunshine and lollipops. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to see Lala start after Miller gave up five goals tonight, and also since December 26 is the most popular day for backups to start. (That’s one of my favorite statistics, by the way.)
The Caps, on the other hand, played a really great game. They started quickly, they didn’t lose their heads when the Sabres cut it down to a one-goal lead, and the finally managed to get something going on the two-man advantage. Their 5-3 was horrible Saturday night and their power play wasn’t much better up in Canada, so to see them get two goals with the advantage when they needed it was nice. Unfortunate it had to happen against the Sabres, but at least it happened.
I don’t get to see these two teams play each other again until March. Frowny face.
Neuvy was pretty good last night. He didn’t see any action in the first period, but he was rather solid in the second.
Lars scoring makes me all warm and fuzzy.
It’s about time Tim Connolly tried to make something happen. I really like how he’s been working hard and justifying his contract.
I enjoyed all the faceoffs Goosie and David took against each other. I’d have to check the actual statistics, but I think Paul had the upper hand this time.
Steve Montador is only a little gross without his fake tooth in.
LOL moment of the night: Mike Green saying he likes blocking shots. Sure thing, Michael. Whatever you say.
He’s so cute when he tries to pretend he actually gives a crap about defense.
Have a very safe and happy holidays, everyone, and enjoy Festivus!! Thanks again for reading. You’re all the bestest.