A Post Previewing the 2009-2010 Buffalo Sabres
September 26, 2009 at 12:00 pm | In Buffalo Sabres, Chris Butler, Dan Paille, Derek Roy, Frostee Does Predictions!, Henrik Tallinder, Jason Pominville, Jochen Hecht, Mike Grier, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Players, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, Thought-provoking Stuff, Tim Connolly, Tim Connolly must be made of toothpicks and chewing gum, Tim Kennedy | Leave a CommentSo. The time has come to prepare a post previewing the Sabres. Where to begin? The Sabres were a mess last season, to be perfectly honest. Playoffs two years in a row, then no playoffs two years in a row, then they beat the Red Wings and the Caps in the preseason. Yes, I know we lost Drury and Briere, but seriously, dudes? Get over it. They weren’t the only players on this team.
The thing with these Sabres is that I can never decide if any of them have individual talents, or games like that 10-2 win over Edmonton are just a complete fluke. Yes, Thomas Vanek is good at putting the puck in the net. Yes, Tim Connolly is fabulous when he’s not lying in a hospital bed in a full body cast. Ryan Miller is frustratingly inconsistent, but when he’s on, good grief, is he on. Patrick Kaleta isn’t half-bad at throwing hits. Sir Christopher has a bright future ahead of him.
But I’m not sure if these Sabres are good enough to take the next step. Yes, if Gomez hadn’t taken out Miller we probably would have made the playoffs. But after seeing how the other teams played in the postseason, there’s an excellent chance that the Sabres would have been slaughtered in the first round. It would have painful, and it would have been ugly.
Darcy promised big changes this summer, so he let my Caveman go and signed Steve Montador in his place, and he brought back Mike Grier. Woo. Way to go, Darcy. Grier will (hopefully) be able to keep the whiny brats on this team in line, but that’s about it. He also signed about 27 enforcers and “gritty” players, so, you know, watch out, league. (I actually have a theory that Darcy watched Slapshot one too many times before free agency started and he wanted to be like the Chiefs and just beat up every team. If it’s old time hockey we’re going to be putting up with, I at least want a Killer.)
One thing Darcy didn’t do that we were all expecting was dump some of our dead weight. Yes, Max is gone, but we still have Hank and Jochen. Man, did those two frustrate me last season.
You know who else frustrated me? Jason Pominville. Jason effing Pominville. He was all cute and adorable and point-producing two years ago and then last season he completely sucked. It was awful.
Thomas Vanek was on track for fifty goals last season (remember when I was all freaked out that he would score more goals than Alex? Heh.) and then he broke his jaw. He’s definitely our best goal-scorer and I’d appreciate it if he could keep that up this year. I’m also counting on Derek Roy to be our best point-producer. Come on, Royzie. Do it for Kyle.
I’d really like some of the Portland kids to get a chance up here, but I’m not sure if that’ll happen or not since we don’t exactly have loads of roster space to give away. Gerbe and Kennedy might be ready to make the jump, but it really depends on who plays well in training camp and who else undergoes surgery right before the start of the season. Adam Mair.
Another concern is the Olympic Break. Yes, it will give some of our guys a chance to rest up, but not Ryan Miller. It became rather apparent two seasons ago that our fragile little goalie can’t handle playing a long season. The Olympics are kind of intense, and they’re going to exhaust him if he ends up being named the starting goalie.
I’m not going to make any predictions about this team, because I honestly don’t know where they’ll end up in the conference. What I do know is that they really are quite similar to the team we saw last year, and that team didn’t do a whole heck of a lot. Out of the playoffs is out of the playoffs, no matter what place you’re in.
Just a few personal letters to some of the players:
Dear Paul,
You just keep doing what you’re doing.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Timmy,
Don’t break.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Jason,
Come back.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Jochen,
We gave you that contract extension because we believed in you, but you were kind of awful last season. Let’s just put the past in the past and move on. You can play better than you did. I believe in you.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Mike,
Keep the little bastards in line.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Sir Christopher,
I decided to make you my project this year, which means I love you even more and pay extra special attention to you. Not that there’s any pressure, I promise. I thought you were chivalrous and great player last year, and with even more time to grow and develop, you’ll get even better. Good luck, my young knight. May the force be with you.
With Love,
Frostee
Dear Danny,
Don’t forget your toothbrush on the road trips, sweetie!
With Love,
Frostee
Welcome To Rock Bottom
February 28, 2009 at 9:51 pm | In Alex Ovechkin, Alexander Semin, Buffalo Sabres, Clarke MacArthur, Dan Paille, Frostee Does Predictions!, Henrik Tallinder, Hockey Gods, Huh?, Jochen Hecht, Losing Sucks, New York Islanders, Patrick Lalime, That was absolutely terrible., This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Thought-provoking Stuff, Tim Connolly, Trading Madness!, Washington Capitals | 4 CommentsEmbarrassing is the only word I can really think of to describe that game. Getting shut out is bad enough, but getting shut out to the Islanders? Really?
It makes me sad that the Sabres can’t get a win for Lala. He’s been really reliable these past few games and has been making great saves, but apparently it’s way too much to ask the Sabres to actually score a freaking goal. I don’t care how many good chances they had in the first period tonight, Harry. Chances mean absolutely nothing when the team can’t actually score.
Trade deadline is Wednesday. I love the trade deadline because GMs can always be counted on to make completely wacky-doodle trades. There’s been a lot of talk surrounding a Connolly trade but I actually don’t think Timmy’ll get traded. He’s too important to this team right now and I get the feeling that Darcy will at least try to resign him. I definitely expect to see Tallinder shipped out (sorry Heather), and even though I tear up just thinking about it I worry about Pie. MacArthur has done absolutely nothing memorable lately and I really want Jochen Hecht to go away. Tallinder, Hecht, and MacArthur might seem like a good package to some of those wacko GMs who go wild on deadline day.
Semin’s OT winner in the Caps/Bruins game today was fantastic. I feel really bad for Timtom but when goals like that are scored you can’t help but laugh.
TV is supposed to be back by Wednesday. If the hockey gods have any mercy at all he will.
Don Cherry seems to think Alex’s goal celebrations make him like Sean Avery. Huh. I really don’t see where he gets that from. I do know that part of what makes the Capitals so fun to watch is their obvious love for the game and their excitement when they score. Watching them get incredibly fired up by goals makes me really happy.
Speaking of the Capitals, uh, there’s still room on the bandwagon. I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but I’m just puttin’ it out there…
Let’s Talk About The Sabres
December 31, 2008 at 11:37 am | In Adam Mair, Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Clarke MacArthur, Derek Roy, Drew Stafford, Henrik Tallinder, I Was At The Game!, Jaroslav Spacek, Jason Pominville, Jochen Hecht, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Losing Sucks, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Players, Ryan Miller, Teppo Numminen, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Thought-provoking Stuff, Washington Capitals | 3 CommentsI feel as though I have neglected them a bit over the past few days, so now I’m going to talk about the Sabres, and the Sabres only. (I thought it would be a good idea to get myself in a foul mood before going to watch “The Deer Hunter” for my school project.)
- Nobody told me last night that Pkaleta was going to miss at least three more weeks! Nooo!!! We were just saying during the second period last night that the Sabres could use Patty K back in the lineup. We need his spunk and hits.
We need PK back in the lineup and healthy. Stat.
- I just got around to watching the post-game interviews. Thomas Vanek’s was okay; he was definitely right when he said the Sabres play better when he plays better. It was nice seeing Ryan Miller talk about how he needs to step it up (’cause, um, Crunchy? You kind of sucked last night), and I enjoyed when he starting getting on the media’s case about quotes of his. Heh. Paul Gaustad’s interview was so good that I actually watched it twice. Paul was angry and he was embarrassed and he thought that the effort was “unacceptable.” Hear, hear, Paul! He was right when he said that it’s everyone’s job to hit, not just his. He looked quite pissed. I hope he kicked everyone’s ass after the media left. I don’t know what to do with Jason Pominville. I used to love his adorableness and innocence. Now I kind of want to throw him off the roof. I couldn’t even read his blog without gagging. Seriously, Jason? YOU NEED TO STEP IT UP. YOU NEED TO START SCORING. Maybe we need to tell him that if he scores lots of goals the unicorns will come back?!?! ANYTHING at this point. I can’t believe I wanted him to be captain this year. My new vote for captain is Mr. Gaustad. He’s one of the only players who actually seems to care about winning. He’d make a much better captain than Rivet.
- Times must be bad when even the penalty kill is sucky. I couldn’t believe the Sabres let the Caps score TWICE with a man-advantage. (Although the Backstrom goal, which was right in front of us, was actually a very, very nice goal. I wish the Sabres could score goals like that)
- I’m looking forward to seeing who Lindy scratches. I want Jochen scratched, definitely. I feel almost blasphemous saying it, but Pommer could use a night off too. Staffy could probably sit again, and maybe even (I’m sorry Cari!) Derek. And Jaro. And Teppo. And Hank. For the first 59 minutes last night I would have said Clarke too, but since he scored I guess he’ll stay. Maybe Lindy should just bring up the rest of the Portland Pirates and have them play a night. It might knock some sense into the Sabres.
- The power play needs some serious work. I don’t know what, but Darcy and Lindy need to do something. They need to get someone good to quarterback the PP. They need someone on the point who can actually keep the puck in. They need to stop passing the puck around and just shoot. Look at the Caps’ power play. All they do is shoot. You know, someone should tell the Sabres that one of the reasons Alex is currently the second highest scorer in the league is that he always SHOOTS THE PUCK. If Pommer shot more, I bet he could score. If Jochen and Derek shot more, I bet they could too. I hate bringing up that obnoxiously cheesy quote of Wayne Gretzky’s, but the guy knew what he was talking about when he said that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. IT’S TRUE, SABRES. WHEN YOU DON’T SHOOT THE PUCK, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN SCORE.
- I really do believe that the Sabres have some talented players, but someone needs to teach them to start acting like it. Remember last year? Derek was pretty darn good last year. Even Pommer looked pretty good out there. Is it all mental with them? Is there some sort of block in their brain keeping them from playing well? We need to hire some sort of psychologist to get in their heads and figure out what the hell is wrong with them.
- I didn’t pay much attention to the Sabres during warmup last night, and while we all know one of the reasons, there’s another. I noticed it in November, and I noticed it again last night. The Capitals look good even when they’re warming up. The drills they do, and the passing, and the puck-handling. All of it. They look like a good team out there before the game even starts. (One player in particular was absolutely mesmerizing with the puck before the puck even dropped, but I won’t mention him. This post is supposed to be about how much the Sabres suck.)
- And is it just me, or are all of the Sabres incredibly slow skaters? Good grief. It looked like they were trying to navigate through molasses at some times last night.
- Adam Mair scored the first goal for the Sabres last night. It was actually a really nice goal. The thing is, Adam Mair shouldn’t be the one scoring that kind of goal. Thomas Vanek should. Roy should. Pommer should. When Adam Mair, Matt Ellis, and Paul Gaustad are out against Ovechkin, Backstrom, and Kozlov, there is something wrong.
- At this point in the season, I don’t think the Sabres will make the playoffs. If they do, it’ll be a last minute eighth seed, which would (most likely) mean Boston, which would most likely be very embarrassing.
Well, that’s all I have to complain about for now. Have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve, everyone, and we’ll see you tomorrow for The Stupid Fucking Ice Bowl, Take Two!
That Was Fun (#48)
December 27, 2008 at 10:34 am | In 65 Reasons I Love A.M.O., Alex Ovechkin, Andrej Sekera, Andrew Peters, Bobbleheads, Buffalo Sabres, Chris Clark, Donald Brashear, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Henrik Tallinder, Jason Pominville, Jochen Hecht, Losing Sucks, Maxim Afinogenov, Patrick Lalime, Rick DiPietro, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries?, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a CommentJust for the record, I’m trying really, really hard to be upset about last night’s game. It’s kind of hard.
- The majority of the first period was rather boring. It was just back and forth, back and forth, with Frostee occasionally shrieking, “ALEX!! GOOOO!!!!! SKATE!!!!!”
- Andrej Sekera is officially in my mother’s doghouse. She was less than pleased with his performance last night and announced about halfway through the second period, “I don’t think Andrej Sekera is a very good hockey player.”
- I really don’t like Harry Neale, but I loved him last night for all his, “Alex Ovechkin is spectacular. Alex Ovechkin is the best player in the league.”
- Ha. I LOVE Crunchy’s skull caps.
- I am very worried for Thomas Vanek. I mean, first they had to DRAG HIM OFF THE ICE, and then all the sudden he was back and skating on one leg, and then he scored. Is he becoming the Tiger Woods of hockey?
- I was kind of looking forward to a Petey/Brashear fight, but I guess that’s not going to happen.
- My jersey is huge. I love it, but it is ridiculously large. I will be able to wear it for the rest of my life. (Dear Washington Caps, If you change the logo again, we’re going to have some serious problems. With Love, Frostee)
- I really enjoy hearing RJ get all pissy about the guys who do the sirens after goals are scored. It’s amusing to listen to him talk about how they need to learn to shut the things off when goals are disallowed.
- Am I the only one who found it incredibly ironic that Max finally scored a goal when he was jumping in the air to try and avoid getting hit? He’s such a bad player.
- Lala looked pretty darn good last night. It’s too bad the rest of the team sucks.
- When I went upstairs last night, I had to put Mini Alex and Little Ryan on opposite sides of the room. Little Ryan was giving Mini Alex the death glare and I got worried since they’re on a higher shelf and it’s a long fall to the ground.
- Um, my secret boyfriend is back in the lineup, and I’m assuming he’ll be playing on Tuesday. Uh-oh.
- Jason Pominville really needs to step it up. I feel kind of bad getting mad at him since he’s the nicest, most adorable guy on the team, but this is getting ridiculous. I really need him to just score a freaking goal.
- Ditto for Jochen. He needs to start winning face-offs.
- The Sabres’ plane is kind of awesome.
- That goal Mr. Ovechkin scored? Fabulous. He just skated right through Tallinder (or Lydman, as Harry Neale likes to call him) and then he fell over and still scored. Please, enjoy his post-game interview. I would kill for one of those hardhats. I would wear it everywhere.
- Islanders tonight. Pretty Ricky is back in the lineup and they finally won against the Leafs last night. The Sabres kind of need a win, since I have absolutely no faith in them winning on Tuesday.
Frostee Reads the Media Guide!
September 26, 2008 at 4:19 pm | In Adam Mair, Andrew Peters, Buffalo Sabres, Clarke MacArthur, Craig Rivet, Derek Roy, Drew Stafford, Henrik Tallinder, Jason Pominville, Mike Weber, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kaleta, Patrick Lalime, Ryan Miller, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Toni Lydman | 1 CommentSo since it’s Friday and we had early dismissal I actually had a chance to BREATHE this afternoon, before I dove into the shitload of homework I have, I downloaded the Media Guide. I have to say, overall, there weren’t too many surprising things in there. Everyone loves chicken and rice/pasta, U2 and DMB are amazing, their parents are the most influential people in their lives, and they’ve been playing hockey forever. A few notes from my quick read-through:
- Tim Connolly is smiling. I…I just don’t understand that. And apparently he would own a winery if he wasn’t a hockey player. (I really liked seeing what a few of the players would be doing if they weren’t hockey players)
- WTF, Pkaleta? Kaltsy? Kaltsy? That is the most RANDOM nickname I have ever heard. I’m going to agree with Anne and just assume that the players just take part of their name and add -sy. But I still think Kaltsy is the most retarded nickname ever.
- I think it’s really cute that all Patrick Lalime had to say about himself is that he and his wife, Marie-Helene, have two daughters whose names are Liliana and Rosemary. They sound like names of elves in the Inheritance Trilogy Cycle (which, by the way, I finished. :’( The first 600 pages were terrible, but the last 200 made up for it, in my opinion).
- Tony Lydman’s picture is, well, classic Toni Lydman.
- Clarke MacArthur’s picture makes my kind of wonder why I thought he was so hot last year. His hair, it’s just so…ew.
- Adam Mair basically wants to STEAL MY HEART (sorry M.J.) by telling me that if he wasn’t playing hockey, he would probably be a teacher. Why don’t you just go end genocide in Darfur while you’re at it, Adam.
- Oh, Crunchy. How I love you so. (I think they used the exact same interests/hobbies thing from last year, which makes me think they are slackers. I have also been operating under the assumption that since Rachel McAdams is his favorite actress, he will watch The Notebook with me whenever I want and come with me to see The Time-Traveler’s Wife. Especially since according to Drew Stafford, guys actually like chick flicks.)
- I love how Petey listed his brother as one of the most influential people in his life, since here at Frostee’s House we LOVE Geoff. He’s basically awesome.
- Pommer’s favorite team growing up was the Green Bay Packers (if it turns out he is one of those Brett Favre fan boys, I am taking his picture off The Wall), and the best concert he ever went to was Justin Timberlake (first of all, I thought Kanye was his favorite! And second, according to my friend Erin, who ran into him at that very same concert, he claims “Soupy had an extra ticket and made me come!” The poor dear.)
- Craig Rivet’s biggest pet peeves are cockiness and arrogance, but I really don’t care what he has to say because he doesn’t even wanna be in Buffalo. If his play shows that, I will have to burn down his house.
- We’ve already figured out that Derek Roy loves his boat, “Love Potion #9″ (I’m going along with the theory that Petey named it. It seems like something he would do), but did you know that he also likes playing cards and vids? Derek Roy is a gamer. Who’da thunk?
- Staffy is smiling as well. I’m not sure if I like the new, happy versions of Drew Stafford and Tim Connolly. Zach Parise is his favorite athlete (awww!!!) and he collects arcade games (hmmm). And what the hell is up with D-Money?
- Henrik Tallinder, call me sometime and we’ll watch Shrek. (Shrek, man? Shrek? That’s amazing.) And is it just me, or is saying that he’d be a ski instructor if he wasn’t a hockey player very Swedish of him?
- Whoever cut Thomas Vanek’s hair should be killed. Is he harboring some sort of secret desire to look like his little froufrou dog? (Frostee’s Dad literally choked on his drink when I told him this. We have a yellow lab, after all, and he very much dislikes small dogs)
- If someone finds me a picture of “Webs” boating with Derek Roy, I think I will die laughing.
- Not only is my BFF Gerb-dogg rocking a soulpatch, he also looks incredibly cuddly. If I ever meet him, I think I will have to cuddle with him (in a totally friendly way).
My (Male) Teacher is a Puckbunny, Talkin’ Defenders, and Ryan Miller’s Arm Will Get Cut Off
September 19, 2008 at 4:55 pm | In Andrej Sekera, Brian Campbell, Buffalo Sabres, Chris Drury, Craig Rivet, Daniel Briere, Derek Roy, Frostee Does Predictions!, Henrik Tallinder, Huh?, Jaroslav Spacek, Jason Pominville, Mike Weber, Nathan Paetsch, Ryan Miller, Teppo Numminen, Toni Lydman | 2 CommentsToday in math, quite a few of the kids were wearing Sabres gear (including myself) in honor of the start of training camp, and my teacher jokingly asked one kid if he wanted to buy a Drury jersey. Naturally, the boy recoiled in disgust, and Mr. Senn promised that he was just joking. He then went on to say, and I quote, “Nah, I’m just going to take off the three and put on a nine and turn it into a Pominville jersey.” I know. My married, male, football coach math teacher is planning on wearing a Pominville jersey to games. WTF?
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When I opened up the depth chart today online, I realized that I don’t pay one bit of attention to defenders on the ice, unless his name is Toni Lydman and he sucks. Therefore, this analysis is not going to be very good, and I promise that I will pay more attention this year. (This might be because I haven’t seen Sabres hockey since freaking MARCH. That is TOO LONG)
Henrik Tallinder
Last season was: AWESOME when he faked out Marty, but otherwise a bit frustrating.
This season should be: solid defense.
I will admit, I can not get too mad at Henrik after the shootout against New Jersey. Honestly, I haven’t seen anything quite as badassed as that in a very long time. But he needs to learn how to defend the freaking goalie the rest of the time. I vaguely remember being mad at him for not doing that.
Jaroslav Spacek
Last season was: ….. (how the fuck am I supposed to do that? I can not remember ANYTHING from last season other than hating losing. Not making the playoffs is not good for me. Jaro, tell me, what did you do last year? I remember you scoring the first goal of the season, but I also remember the Sabres losing that game. WHAT DID YOU DO?!!?)
This season should be: solid defense.
Just…don’t leave Crunchy alone. I get that he sucked out loud most of the time last season, but sometimes it was because YOU and YOUR FELLOW DEFENDERS were not doing their JOB.
Toni Lydman
Last season was: sucky.
This season should be: solid defense. (see a theme?)
Toni Lydman does not know how to play defense. I lost all faith in him last year, and he better be AMAZING in the first game this year, because that’s all I’m giving him. Three periods to prove me wrong.
Craig Rivet
Last season was: spent in San Jose.
This season should be: solid defense, and veteran leadership.
I tacked on the veteran leadership for him because that’s supposedly why we got him. God knows we need some more on-ice leadership. We also need some solid defense. Craig, you better DELIVER.
Nathan Paetsch
Last season was: ehh
This season should be: I’m not really sure.
Nathan Paetsch is another one of those guys I don’t really care about. I also know that if Mike Weber was to replace him on the roster then he would have to clear waivers before he could go to Rochester Portland, and everyone keeps talking about how we can’t risk that, but are they serious? Because, from what I can remember, (fuck you, Sabres, for not making the playoffs. I have enough to remember without having to remember how NATHAN PAETSCH, of all people, played last year), losing him doesn’t seem like it would be SUCH a travesty. But maybe that’s just my opinion.
Andrej Sekera
Last season was: totally awesome.
This season should be: totally awesome.
After showing just how awesome he is during the end of last season, Andrej Sekera is most definitely feeling the love. I have complete confidence in him. I’m not worried at all.
Mike Weber
Last season was: also pretty awesome.
This season should be: pretty awesome.
Time to tell you all a secret: I actually don’t really care all that much if Nathan Paetsch gets snatched up on waivers (because he’s such a hot commodity), if it means that Mike Weber makes the roster. I LOVE Mike Weber. In spite of his awkward interviews, I still think he is the shiz. And that peanut heaven comment only made me love him more. (Since The Buffalo News is RETARDED, they don’t have archives going back that far. Maybe they didn’t want evidence of that EMBARRASSING loss to Montreal [it's actually the one that forced us to put Little Ryan on the deck]. Or maybe they just don’t want easy access to archives. I bet it was Bucky’s idea.)
Um, why is Teppo Numminen not on the depth chart? Hmm???
Teppo Numminen (take THAT, sexy depth chart)
Last season was: spent with his chest cracked open.
This season should be: all Teppo, all the time!
I love Teppo Numminen just as much as I love Mike Weber. He’s old, but he’s a foxy type of old, like Harrison Ford. When he almost cries, it’s hilarious and endearing at the same time. (quite unlike when Ovie cries, because then I usually fall out of my chair due to my hysterics) Now that he’s all healthy, he can be more of that solid defense and veteran leadership we need. He’ll also probably give Pommer a run for his money in the captain competition.
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So, I mentioned in the title of the post how Ryan Miller will probably lose an arm. I actually have a perfectly logical explanation for that. You see, my dad and I were talking earlier about the upcoming season (just like in Crunchy’s house, my dad is the hockey expert here. The only difference is that I don’t call my dad by some cutesie name. I just call him Dad). I pointed out that this will be a massively confusing season for Sabres fans. We have no players who need heart surgery. All our key players are under contract. What will we do without contract situations to stress about? Who will we talk about if no one needs a heart valve replaced?! We have NOTHING to distract us from hockey. What the HELL are we supposed to do? I’m a relatively young fan, and I’ve always had to worry in the offseason. Two years ago it was the whores formally known as Drury and Briere, last year it was Teppo and the whore formally known as Soupy, and even Crunchy! (at least, I was worried about Crunchy. I don’t know about anyone else). EVERYTHING has been going swimmingly thus far, and therefore something very bad is going to happen very soon. My money is on Crunchy losing an arm, Royzie having a majorly bad hairday, and Pommer breaking his neck. Nothing this good can last.
Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend, Round Ten
August 29, 2008 at 4:32 pm | In Bills, Frostee's Sabres Boyfriend, Henrik Tallinder, Ryan Miller | 1 CommentThis is the tenth round of cuts in a series where I decide who will be Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend.
A few things before I snatch away someone’s dream:
- My locker SUCKS. What the HELL did I do to offend you, God? Because I must have seriously pissed you off. You wouldn’t banish a good person to the motherfucking locker bay.
- Um, yeah, so, the Bills suck. The Bulls are okay, but the Bills just plain suck.
- Did anyone else get the sense, when watching Barack talk about his and Michelle’s education, that Michelle was acting almost like a pageant mom? IDK. They showed her and she nodded, shook her head, and then mouthed “That’s right.” It seemed a bit pageant mom-ish to me. And last night was actually the first time my dad promised me, “Change is coming to America,” when he said goodnight.
- Okay, when is the season premiere of Saturday Night Live? Because my all-time favorite person is hosting. I’m really not sure if Dear Michael can handle it, but I might make an exception and not be too mean about it if he kinda sucks. Warm fuzzies to him for trying.
- Summer has been good to you, Crunchy. I’m liking the whole barefoot-thing. And is it just me, or did you bulk up a bit? I told you, that beer and pizza diet works wonders!
Okay, today’s cut:
Henrik Tallinder
(I promise, I did not plan it that in the TENTH round I would eliminate the player who wears number TEN. I swear God! I swear ma mom!)
Ah, Henrik. Henrik, Henrik, Henrik. You’re wonderful, really, you are. You have a winning smile, you appear to be charming, and you are SO badassed. I have never seen anything quite as badassed as you faking the shorts off of Marty Brodeur. I especially love how when you google image search “henrik tallinder,” this picture shows up. (God, I love the Lundqvist twins. I do not care that Henrik players for the Rangers. He and Joel are SO HOT.)
I just have one concern, Henrik. It may be silly, but you never know. See, I’m kind of afraid that you might…well…rape me. Yeah. And I’m even more afraid that you and Andreas Lilja and Kristian Huselius might get together and gang rape me. I understand that all charges have been dropped, but you never know. Swedish sex scandals are not taken lightly here at TFF. And, of course, you were banned from playing in Turin in 2006, and as we all know, I live for Olympic hockey. Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend does NOT get banned from the Olympics. It just does not happen.
There are only a few players left! Keep reading to find out who will get to be Frostee’s Sabres Boyfriend!
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