I Knew It.

November 17, 2009 at 9:45 pm | In Alex Ovechkin, Bills, Brian Engblom's Hair, Brooks Laich, Empty Threats, Happy!!, Jose Theodore, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Mike Knuble, Patrick Lalime, Semyon Varlamov, Twins Named Lundqvist, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a Comment

When I sit on the right side of the room in my Caps jersey during the game, they usually win. Note the usually, this way I’m not making an absolute statement and I avoid a jinx.

Tonight was no exception. Alex scored, his arm didn’t fall back off, and Bloody Brads got the game winner. That always makes it a good night. He pretty much owns Pretty Henrik at this point.

Seeing Varly play well makes me happy.

Seeing the Caps score on the power play also makes me happy. This is a team that is supposed to score when they have the man advantage. I expect that from him.

I don’t know what the Caps would do without Brooksie.

I miss Mike Knuble, however, I’m glad Perreault gets to stay up. He’s spectacular. I pretty much adore him.

I hope everything’s ok with Jose. I five him a lot of crap but he’s been through a lot over the past few months.

I’m glad Alex scored. It was about time.

Lars got a penalty after a scrum along the boards. I’m sure it’s from forgetting to say please and thank you, or eating with his elbows on the table, or something along those lines.

If Lala doesn’t play tomorrow night, I will NOT be amused.

In other, non-hockey news, DICK JAURON GOT FIRED!!!!! Ralph, it is about effing time. They’re certainly not going to be any better, but Dick was at least a portion of the problem. Woohoo!

What’s All This I’ve Been Hearing About A Condensed Schedule?

October 4, 2009 at 10:48 am | In Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Peters, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Carey Price, Chris Butler, Losing Sucks, Montreal Canadiens, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Players, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Steve Montador, This Irks Me, Thomas Vanek, Tim Connolly, Tim Kennedy, Tyler Myers, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 1 Comment

One of the complaints I’ve been hearing a lot lately is about the condensed schedule we’ll be seeing this year due to the Olympics.  Um, the Sabres don’t play again until Thursday.  That’s not condensed.

Last year, the Sabres beat Montreal in the shootout at the home opener. I was there, and it was one of the most fun games I’ve ever been to just because of the excitement and the fact that after a disappointing season, they started off the new year by winning.

This year, the Sabres lost to Montreal in overtime.  It was a pretty fluky goal, and it was just the first game of the season, and the Sabres still got a point, but I’m disappointed.  Ryan Miller seemed positively chipper about the game (oh, how I have missed Ryan Miller post game interviews), and while there were definitely some positives, the fact still remains that after Timmy scored a power play goal they didn’t get any offense going.  (Um, did Thomas Vanek do ANYTHING last night?  At all?)  The grit was definitely there – especially Timmy K, sticking up for hisself!! – but I expected a little more from the offense.  That’s all.  I just don’t want the Sabres to fall into bad habits, like that one they had last year of being the better team on the ice and then losing.  That habit was supremely annoying.

One thing I was really impressed with, however, was Tyler Myers.  And not just because he reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite.  (“Yeah, I had fun.  God.“)  He was playing in all sorts of situations and I didn’t see him making any glaring mistakes.  I thought he played really well for a 19 year-old making his NHL debut.  There’s no way Lindy can send him back to juniors.

It hurt me that Sir Christopher was in front of Miller for Montreal’s game winning goal.

It seemed to me like Steve Montador got a lot of ice time.

Ryan Miller looked pretty good for most of last night.  So did Carey Price.

Petey got all sorts of fighting-related penalties in his debut with the Devils.

Don Cherry cracked me up last night.  Last year he and I didn’t get along very well, but I decided to give him a second chance this season and he hasn’t blown it yet.

I hope Buffalo beats Phoenix on Thursday, especially since I will be skipping Jim and Pam’s wedding to watch them.

BROOKS GOT THE HARD HAT! The Caps game was pretty sweet, what with five players scoring six goals and Alexander being a badass and getting the scoring started straightaway.  The Monster wasn’t all that impressive, in my opinion.  This is what I like to see, Washington.  But let’s not see the brainfart that was the third period again.

Two things from Brooks’s interview:

1.)  Notice GMGM wandering around in the background not once, but TWICE!  First at the 58 second mark, the next time at the 2:10 mark.  You can also see Ted walking around at the 1:22 mark.  I love when people are randomly wandering around in the background during interviews so much.

2.)  Which player is that hanging out with a baby at the 2:02 mark?  I can’t really tell.  Is it Mo the Second?  It slightly resembles him, but I can’t say for certain.

We have to wait until Thursday for the Sabres to take on Phoenix, but on Thursday Philadelphia is playing Washington.  That’s going to be a really good game, especially since Ray Emery decided to make it seem like his time in Russia actually did reform him.

Happy!

October 1, 2009 at 9:31 pm | In Alex Ovechkin, Boston Bruins, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Happy!!, Jose Theodore, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a Comment

Woo!! Go Caps!!

I’m quite impressed with this team. They played great defense, great offense, and great special teams. Brooksie got two goals, as did Alex. Theo was almost flawless (dude, what was that?) Lars got three points. Michael actually threw a hit.

For the past two months I’ve been walking around telling anyone who would listen that I have this feeling about the Caps this year. One game isn’t an indication of how the season will play out, but Washington sure did look capable against another contender. They still have kinks to work out too, but they’re getting there.

I also blathered endlessly about how Alex’s hunger and desire to match what the Penguins did last year would be a major driving force, and it certainly looked that way. Two goals and an assist, throwing hits, all his usual shenanigans. (Let’s not talk about that penalty at the end.) He wants to win this year. It’s obvious, and I love it. I’m glad his passion and drive were all evident tonight.

So well done, Capitals. You met my high expectations, and now I’m uber excited for Saturday night.

And Sabres, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. I have high expectations for you as well Saturday night. I truly believe you can actually score a goal. And I wouldn’t mind if you decided to win either.

Enjoy!

July 28, 2009 at 6:05 pm | In Brooks Laich, Happy!!, Lars Nicklas Backstrom | Leave a Comment

Now, I realize that this will be the third post in a row that doesn’t have anything to do with the Sabres, but since the Sabres are hibernating bears this offseason, there’s really nothing to say.

I, however, have a bit of exciting news: today, when I checked my Top Search Terms, “nicklas backstrom” led the pack.  Huzzah!!

In honor of this little piece of news, I would like you all to click this link.  This video is fantastic for four reasons:

1)  Lars!!  ’Nuff said.  (Just for the record, he looked about 15.  God bless him.)

2)  Lars using a potty mouth.  Although I did appreciate him saying “bum” instead of something vulgar, like “ass.”

3)  Brooksie acting in a typically Brooksie fashion: eagerly helping Cabbie speak Swedish and hook up with the Swedish ladies.  Am I the only one who thinks that Brooks asked Lars to teach him Swedish since he wasn’t having any luck with the North American ladies?

4)  Mo showing up so they can all swear in Russian.  Mo is one of my favorites.

Brooks Laich Has Way Too Much Time On His Hands

April 7, 2009 at 3:58 pm | In Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Losing Sucks, Stick a fork in it | 3 Comments

Since we don’t have Comcast/don’t live in the D.C. area, I rely on the Caps’ website for my Caps Red Line fix each Tuesday.  I really enjoyed this week’s edition of Bling, during which we were treated to a tour of Brooks Laich’s new house.  I have two thoughts on this segment:

1.  Brooks Laich needs to find some other hobbies.  I realize that now that he and Michael no longer live in the same apartment building they can’t spend all their time together, but he still needs to find something to occupy his time.  That refrigerator, and that pantry?  Scary.

Either that, or he needs to find better OCD medication.

2.  His kid-friendly explanation of what bedrooms are for cracked me up.  Across the D.C. area children are sitting in front of their computers right now, scratching their heads and wondering what he could possibly mean.  Puck bunnies are watching the video and plotting how to partake in this mysterious activity.

I also kind of got the feeling that the Capitals’ Ladies Man is looking for a wife.  Hey, ladies, Brooks appears to be available!  And as Nicklas was so kind to inform us, Brooks is “a good man for a woman.”

_______________________________________________________

I’m really not upset about last night’s game.  It really was inevitable.  The Sabres didn’t even play that horribly for the first two periods, it’s just that Detroit is infinitely better.  I’m just going to watch these last three games and get my fill of the Sabres before immersing myself in playoff hockey.

My only regret is that this year’s season wasn’t as interesting/exciting as last year’s.  At least last season we had the Brian Campbell contract drama, Pie and Jochen with their twenty goals, and Thomas Vanek with his sixty hat tricks.  And remember when Pommer was a thirty goal scorer?  *sigh*

P.S.  Caps @ Thrashers tonight.  Why yes, I did plan my evening around this game.  Thank you for asking.

I Like It When Both Of My Teams Win

March 28, 2009 at 10:12 am | In Alex Ovechkin, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Dan Paille, Happy!!, Lars Nicklas Backstrom, Other Teams' Back-up Goalies Kind of Suck, Paul Gaustad, Ryan Miller, That horse is dead. Drop the stick., Toronto Maple Leafs, Washington Capitals, Winning Is Totally Awesome | Leave a Comment

I really thought the Sabres were going to lose last night.  Well, actually, I thought they were going to win when it was 4-0, and then when it was 4-3 I thought they were going to lose.  At the very least, I thought Miller would get a Ryan Miller Shutout.  Oh well.  They got two points.  So did the Capitals.  All in all, it was a good night for me last night.

Here’s the thing, though.  The Sabres are not going to win tonight.  If they beat the Montreal Canadiens tonight I will be more surprised than if they make the playoffs.  This year’s edition of the Sabres does NOT win on the second night of back-to-backs.  It’s just not something they do.  No matter how important the game is, they somehow manage to completely screw it up.

Goosie and Pie scored.  It made me really happy.  I love when Pie scores.  It fills me with such joy.

The amazing thing about the Maple Leafs goaltending last night was how craptastic CuJo managed to be after playing amazingly on Tuesday.  He came in cold with less then a minute left in regulation and was a rock until they won in the shootout.  I guess some goalies are just inconsistent like that.

Ryan and Paul were giving each other some serious love last night.  It was so cute.

Several people at TFF Headquarters have reason to believe the whole, “Teppo Numminen has an ankle infection” thing is a conspiracy.  I think that would be kind of mean, but their reasoning is actually pretty good.  Poor guy.  And poor Frostee’s Mom, for having to see her favorite player scratched every night.

Speaking of Frostee’s Mom, I realized about ten minutes ago that when she goes out of town it’s good luck for the Sabres.  Consider this:  She left with my grandparents Wednesday morning for South Carolina and the Sabres won.  She’s still down there and they beat the Leafs last night.  The last time my mother has gone on a vacation without us during the hockey season was in May of 2007 (she usually ends up going to visit my great-aunt in July).  She was gone for three days and you know what happened when she was watching a playoff game against the Rangers in the airport and we were at home?  Chris Drury scored with seven seconds left and Max won it in overtime before partaking in the famous penguin slide.  I just figured that out.  We’re going to have to send her on a vacation more often.

The Caps also won 5-3.  It was awesome.  Alex scored two goals, added two assists, and reached the 100 point mark.  The game-winner was Brian Pothier’s first since returning from a concussion.  Nicky got two goals and reached the 20-goal mark for the first time in his career.  Brooksy should have gotten his first 20th goal ever, but the referee waved it off on incidental contact.  It was probably the biggest bullshit call I saw last night.  Nylander hardly even bumped Tampa Bay’s goalie, and he did it a good four seconds before Brooks even touched the puck.  If the ref had actually blowed the whistle when Nylander bumped him and called goaltender interference it would have been an entirely different story, but Nylander was nowhere near him when the goal was scored.  What made it even worse was that a few minutes later some Bolt bowled over Jose and didn’t get called.

After all their talk of retribution, the Lightning did very little to get back at Alex for “embarrassing them.”  Does that mean we can FINALLY move on?

As I said earlier in the post, the Sabres will not win tonight.  If for some reason they should, there would still be that tiny hope that they could make the playoffs.  I still don’t think they will, and if they lose tonight it’s pretty much over.

Now, while everyone enjoys this beautiful weather and gets ready for the games tonight, I would like to invite you all to take place in a little challenge.  Today in TBN, there was a fail of epic proportions.  I’ll give you a hint about where it is:  the Sports section.  It has to do with hockey.  Pride, glory, and a Reader Award will go to the first person who can correctly find it.  I laughed for a good five minutes when I saw it before completely giving up on the writers of The Buffalo News.  Good luck!

Saturday Ramblings

December 13, 2008 at 9:37 am | In Alex Ovechkin, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Craig Rivet, Drew Stafford, Losing Sucks, Players, Randomness, This Irks Me, Tim Connolly must be made of toothpicks and chewing gum, Washington Capitals, What Is Up With All These Injuries? | 5 Comments
  • So, last night’s game was fun for the first period.  Even most of the second period was fun.  I had the house to myself, the Sabres scored first, Gerbe almost came up to Tallinder’s shoulder when they were celebrating, life was good.  Then the Sabres failed to score on 5:44 of power play time.  And even better, they only got ONE SHOT.  Boys, you’re going to have to do better than that if you want to win a game.  And Thomas didn’t score :(
  • I didn’t watch the Sabres show last night, but I did catch the interview with Drew Stafford.  You know what?  Drew Stafford is a TOTAL creeper.  If I saw him walking down the street, I would turn the other way.  That guy scares me.
  • New Jersey killed New York last night and I haven’t yet decided if scoring 8 goals and winning tired them out, or energized them.  I’m really hoping it’s the first one.
  • I don’t even know how the two of us do it anymore.  Not even kidding, Alex Ovechkin scored both of his goals about ten seconds after I flipped back to that game.  It’s kind of awesome.
  • Bruce, if you EVER need a babysitter for Brady, CALL ME!  Oh my goodness, that kid is quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen! (Lala’s daughters aside, of course)  Brady Boudreau, Kid Reporter, is probably the best segment ever.  It was hilarious to see Steckel lean down to get to his level and Mike Green (Greenie and Federov were back last night!  Yay!!  And Mike ssscccooorrreeedd!) discuss changing roommates, but my favorite of the interviews was the one with Brooks Laich.  Sure, it was probably the thousandth time hearing him talk about his system for road trips, and how he’s in charge of the room temperature and the blinds, but when Brady asked him if he was still the Ladies’ Man, “like you were in the video last year,” I about died.  Brooks told Brady that if he kept asking him all those questions he would have to stop answering them, and then the best part of the entire interview happened, when he turned it around and asked Brady if he had a girlfriend.  Brady’s response?  ”I can’t answer that question.”
  • I think it’s the Buffalo News’s fault that the Sabres only scored one goal last night, because they made a big deal about how if the Sabres scored two goals last night it would be the 1,000th goal in franchise history.  And then I made the jinx worse by saying how it would be the coolest thing ever if the 1,000th goal also happened to be Gerbe’s first NHL goal.
  • Guys, is Craig Rivet becoming the new Tim Connolly?
  • The Senators’ mustaches are ridiculous.  
  • Last night, with thirty seconds left in the second period, my dog Kieffer decided he had to go to the bathroom.  He started giving me attitude when I told him he would have to wait until the period was over, and then he got mad when the Leafs kept icing the puck and he had to wait longer.  He finally got out, and when he came back in I made him sit on the rug so his paws could dry off.  I walked around the corner and into the kitchen, and I was almost back in the family room when I heard him creeping in.  It was really cute, because when I turned around he just had his head sticking around the corner to see if I saw him coming.  As soon as he saw me he ran back to the rug and sat down so he could pretend he had been there the entire time.  It was great.  
  • I am pretty sure I will be watching the game tonight.  I’ll be chillin’ with the grandparents since I haven’t seen them in a while and my grandmother wants to watch that HBO John Adams special, but my grandfather likes watching hockey with me.  Apparently I amuse him when I get really into the games.  The only thing is, he is crazy in love with Hockey Night in Canada and has a huge man-crush on Don Cherry (he actually has one on Mike Robitaille too), so we might have to watch that.  I just hope that CBC decides to play the Caps/Habs game even though the people of Buffalo might rather see the Senators play.  *crosses fingers*
  • Related to hockey but not to last night’s game, I keep forgetting to mention how my mom and Danny Gare are like BFFs.  Waaaaay back when he played for the Sabres she was at a pool party and he was there.  Apparently his legs are redonkulously muscular.  And kind of hairy.

The Hotties and Notties of the NHL

July 16, 2008 at 6:54 pm | In Alex Ovechkin, Andrew Peters, Brooks Laich, Carey Price, Derek Roy, Evgeni Malkin, Evgeni Nabokov, Henrik Zetterberg, Jason Pominville, Jason Spezza, Marc-Andre Fleury, Mike Green, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kaleta, Patrick Kane, Paul Gaustad, Rick DiPietro, Ryan Miller, Vincent Lecavalier | 3 Comments

Since I finally finished Native Son last night, I decided to reward myself with starting this up.  There are many players in the NHL, some hotter than others.  Today, we’ll be taking a look at the 20 hottest players, or Hotties, and tomorrow (or whenever I get to it) we will be examining the Notties.  

The Hotties (in no particular order)

Brooks Laich, Washington Capitals.  You know he’s a Hottie when my mom wanders in during a playoff game intermission interview and goes, “Oh, who’s that?  He’s pretty hot.”  Not only is he a Hottie, he knows it.  Why else would his teammates vote him the biggest ladies’ man?

 

Henrik Zetterberg, Detroit Red Wings.  He’s Swedish.  He’s a hell of a hockey player, and he won the Conn Smythe this year!  I may have been rooting for Pittsburgh, but I still didn’t mind when Henrik decided to score a goal.

 

Paul Gaustad, Buffalo Sabres.  Goose isn’t just some average-joe, superficial Hottie.  Saving the environment and convincing kids to read is hot.  Keep up the good work Goose, and please feel free to make a few more PSAs next year.

 

Patrick Kane, Chicago Blackhawks.  Let me make myself clear.  I am not putting him on here because he’s a Buffalo boy.  He is most certainly Hottie material, especially now that his acne cleared up.  Innocence can be hot, especially when a kid has no problem going on television and talking about how he tapes his stick.

 

Marc-Andre Fleury, Pittsburgh Penguins.  He’s really not that bad to look at, now that he ditched those obnoxious yellow pads.  Listen to him talk for five minutes, and I guarantee you will consider him a Hottie.

 

 

Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay Lightning.  Winning the Stanley Cup is hot.  So is signing an 11-year deal with a team that sucks, even if they do look like they might be a semi-threat this year.

 

 

Okay, so, technically Ryan isn’t in the NHL.  Yet.  But what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t include him on one of my lists?  And it’s not like he’s a *shudder* Nottie!

 

 

Jason Pominville, Buffalo Sabres.  I know, I know.  Pommerdoodle is not exactly a Hottie.  But he’s adorable, kind of like a puppy.  So on the Hottie list he stays.

 

Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals.  You can complain and bitch all you want about how Ovechkin is an ugly fuck and how he’s a geeky emo loser and all that shit.  He’s a Hottie, and deep down you know it.  If it isn’t his killer eyes, then it’s his sense of humor and easy laugh.  And the way he puts up with Mike Milbury’s shit.

Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh Penguins.  Let me make this quite clear: I do not like the Penguins.  I like Fleury’s accent, and that their mascot can’t walk on ice without falling, and that’s about it.  However, Hottie list isn’t discriminatory, and therefore Geno makes the cut.  I was a little bit discouraged, however, when I saw how much he likes pda, and I became downright concerned when i saw this.  Making out with drunk, underaged teammates is not cool, Evgeni.  Not cool at all.  Watch yourself.

Evgeni Nabokov, San Jose Sharks.  (I really seem to like the Russians, huh?)  I don’t know.  He’s just adorable.  And he looks a lot like Benjamin Mckenzie.  

 

 

Rick DiPietro, New York Islanders.  His hips suck, and he needs to watch his mouth when he’s mic’d up on television, but while he might not be easy on the ears, he’s definitely easy on the eyes.  Keep it up, Pretty Ricky!

 

Carey Price, Montreal Canadiens.  He’s adorable, and so sweet and young and innocent.  I was rooting for him in the playoffs, and it was kinda sad to see the poor kid collapse under the pressure.  I’m sure that with time, he’ll be a great, Hottie goaltender.

Jason Spezza, Ottawa Senators.  Jason, I hate you.  I hate you for playing for the Senators.  I hate you for having that lopsided grin and that cute face.  I hate you for saying that you would pose for Playgirl for free.  I hate you.

Cruncy Miller, Buffalo Sabres.  Crunchy Miller is not a Hottie.  His eyebrows are uneven, and it has actually started to bug me.  But his blog is hilarious, his analytical interviews are always enjoyable, and his sense of style questionable.  

 

Andrew Peters, Buffalo Sabres.  Petey isn’t really a Hottie on the outside, but a great sense of humor is quite hot.  So is a questionable sexuality.  Carry on, Petey.

 

Derek Roy, Buffalo Sabres.  Petey’s better half may be a diver, but he’s a hot one.  He really stepped his game up this year, and that’s hot.  

 

 

Nathan Gerbe, Buffalo Sabres/ Rochester Americans.  Forget that he was a runner-up for the Hobey Baker, that his team won the Frozen Four and his was the MVP, and led everyone in scoring (too lazy to fact-check).  He’s short.  And his sings Rascal Flatts in the locker room.  Hottie!!

Patrick Kaleta, Buffalo Sabres/ Rochester Americans.  He’s a homeboy!  (But we are ignoring the fact that he played at St. Francis)  Being a Buffalo fan, I love his hard-hitting style.  The coaches had to tell him to take it down a notch during the prospect camp!  He lives at home.  His first NHL goal was overshadowed by Richard Zednik nearly being beheaded.  Patrick Kaleta, you are a Hottie.

Mike Green, Washington Capitals.  Last, but certainly not least, Mike Green shows off his Hottie stuff by getting playoff mohawks and leading defensemen in goals.  And, of course, teddy bears are hot.

The Offseason Thus Far: The Good, The Bad, and The Confusing

July 14, 2008 at 10:15 pm | In Alex Ovechkin, Bobbleheads, Brian Campbell, Brooks Laich, Buffalo Sabres, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Red Wings, Evgeni Malkin, Jose Theodore, Marc-Andre Fleury, Marian Hossa, Maxim Afinogenov, Mike Green, Nathan Gerbe, Patrick Kane, Patrick Lalime, Paul Gaustad, Pittsburgh Penguins, Ray Emery, Ryan Miller, Sean Avery, Tampa Bay Lightning, Vincent Lecavalier, Washington Capitals | 3 Comments

Now that I know at least one person will be reading my blog (thanks a billion Corinne!  I promise to read any blog you throw my way!), I feel like blogging a bit more.  Since we are, after all, fourteen days into the free agency period, I thought I’d take a minute to discuss all the good, bad, and confusing of the offseason thus far.

The Good

  • The Sabres resigned Paul Gaustad.  This is good for several reasons.  First of all, he’s great on the faceoffs.  His winning percentage is pretty rad.  Second, as a dedicated member of the Green Team, I’m happy to know someone so committed to saving the environment is sticking around.  Also, I wouldn’t mind if he shoots a few more PSAs for next season.  He’s good friends with Ryan Miller, which should hopefully be a plus as Ryan contemplates whether or not he wants to make a commitment to the Blue and Gold.  And, of course, The Goose is hot.  
  • The Capitals went on a signing spree, locking down Mike “Mohawk” Green for 4 years, Brooks “Ladies’ Man” Laich for 3, and Sergei Fedorov for 1.  Now, I only just became a Capitals diehard around March, but I still got excited when I saw these.  Greenie led all defensemen in scoring, so he can’t be that bad!  And Laich is a ladies’ man.  Who doesn’t love a ladies’ man?  Fedorov was bitchin’ on a line with Mr. Ovechkin and Kozlov.  I was (ba-da-ba-ba-ba!) loving it!
  • Vincent Lecavalier signs with Tampa Bay for 11 years and $85 million, complete with one of those evil no trade clauses.  Vinny is decidedly a hottie, and a darn good player, and Tampa Bay decidedly sucks, so I am happy that I won’t have to worry about a player with actual talent going to a team that doesn’t suck and beating the Sabres.  Although this could pose as a problem in the future for Alex and the rest of the Caps.  Hmmm…
  • Pittsburgh signs Fleury and Malkin, longterm.  I put this on the good list because  pity the Penguins and their fans.  They went through what we Sabres fans went through last year with The Whores, aka Drury and Briere.  A lot of the players seem to hate Therrien, and a lot of the players skipped town at the start of the free agency period (to Tampa Bay, strangely enough.  Watch out, Alex and Co.!),
  • Ted Nolan is fired by the Islanders.  Sucka!!!
  • The Sabres signed Nathan Gerbe, Tim Kennedy, Jhonas Enroth, etc.  This signing spree was encouraging, since I had fallen in love with Nathan Gerbe, everyone’s favorite shortie, the moment I heard about him.
  • Ray Emery had no choice but to sign with some Russian team.  This honestly made my day when I read it.

The Bad

  • Detroit signed Hossa for one year, and they got Ty Conklin to back up Ozzie.  Note to every other team in the NHL: Don’t even bother.  You’re screwed.
  • Brian Campbell signed with Chicago.  I had really enjoyed the Blackhawks last year.  Their winning in no way affected the Sabres’ ultimately unsuccessful run for the playoffs, and Patrick Kane plays for them.  Who doesn’t love Patrick Kane?   But then Soupy had to sign with them, for way too much money.  Not cool, Soupy.  Greed is almost as unattractive as that sloppy red hair of yours.
  • Cristobal Huet signed with Chicago.   I get that he’s not even a really great goalie, but still.  I had gained a soft spot for him in my heart during his stay in Washington, and really liked those, “Hip, hip, Huet!” cheers.
  • Crunchy is not under contract after this season.  (By Crunchy I mean Ryan Miller.  For some reason Miller is referred to as Crunchy across the blogosphere, and who am I to shy away from a trend?)  I know that he sucked this season, but a mediocre goalie is better than no goalie at all.  And what am I gonna do with Little Ryan if he goes and plays for Detroit?
  • Max Afinogenov is still a Sabre.  Seriously, the guy sucks.  He has not scored a goal since 2001.  I would know.  I watch Vintage Games.  
  • Sean Avery signed with Dallas.    I’m going to miss him.  He’s obnoxious, and he’s stupid, but he’s always good for a laugh.  

The Confusing

  • Washington signs Jose Theodore, since Olie got pissed when they traded for Huet and left for Tampa Bay.  (CAPITALS!  BEWARE OF THE LIGHTNING! BEWARE!)  I wasn’t really sure what to think, since Theodore is supposed to be pretty good when he doesn’t have the flu, aka detroitredwingsitis, so I googled him.  And found  this.
  • Patrick Lalime, the Sabres’ newest backup goaltender.  He’s been out in Chicago for God knows how long, so I don’t know what to think.  All I know is that he used to play for Ottawa.  *shudder*
  • Jeff Finger.  Oh, you’ve never heard of him?  Yeah, well neither has anyone else.  I think Cliff Fletcher was feeling all sad about saying goodbye to Mats Sundin and went binge-free agent shopping.
  • I find it hilarious that Sundin was offered $20 million for 2 years in Vancouver.  Mats, just a suggestion: go away.  Please.
  • Brooks Orpik resigned with Pittsburgh.  I was under the impression that he wanted out.  I was also under the impression that the Sabres would try to make an offer for him.  Nope.  Darcy didn’t make him an offer, even though his brother Andrew is a Sabres prospect.  Whatevs, Darcy.  Call me when you lock in Crunchy for life.

Sorry if I didn’t mention any of your favorite offseason moments!

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