HONK! HONK! HONK!November 29, 2008 at 9:37 am | Posted in Alex Ovechkin, Buffalo Sabres, Craig Rivet, Drew Stafford, Evgeni Malkin, Football, Frostee Loves Way Too Many Guys, Happy!!, Maxim Afinogenov, Patrick Kaleta, Paul Gaustad, Ryan Miller, Sidney Crosby, Thomas Vanek, Winning Is Totally Awesome | 2 Comments
PAUL GAUSTAD, ILY!!!
Paul Gaustad’s grandfather, you are hilarious and adorable and an awesome grandfather.
Referees, I hope you burn in hell.
Sidney Crosby, I would like you to stick that in your juicebox and suck it.
Ryan Miller, you are an awesome boyfriend and I love you.
Evgeni Malkin, just like my Search Engine Terms say, you are a retard.
Craig Rivet, in the first period when Talbot hit you and you went to the bench, we all kind of thought it looked like you were masturbating. I’m really sorry, but it’s true.
Bulls, I’m mad at you for making me sit out in the freezing cold for three quarters and then starting to score right after I leave and then losing.
Charles Dickens, I’m mad at you for writing Great Expectations.
Drew Stafford, I still think you’re kind of scary.
Max, someone must have told you this is a contract year.
Dear Readers, Alex Ovechkin has ONCE AGAIN proven his UNDYING LOVE for me by scoring his goal WHILE I WAS WATCHING. And while his interview is adorable when he explains how important it was to get Jokey Jose the shutout (I didn’t even know he did shutouts. He doesn’t really seem like the type), I’m mad that he has his freaking under-armor on.
Pkaleta, my parents made a mean comment about how it actually makes sense that I would find you attractive since I do, after all, “have a thing for Ovechkin,” but I want you to know that that comment, combined with your new reputation, does not make me love you any less.
Thomas Vanek, you need to start scoring again.
Buffalo Sabres, I love you all very, very much.